so desperate, i'm asking for help.
i'll be the first to admit, that i'm no where near perfect.
everyone that knows me, has more than likely seen this first hand.
and for that, i'm sorry.
truly sorry.
because more than likely i've either lied to you, cheated on you, or at one point in time made you feel worthless.
last night as i was lying in bed, i couldn't stop crying.
who i am today is not the person i wanted to be 15 years ago.
and i hate myself for that.
when did i become such a bad person?
a liar? unfaithful? a drug-addict? an alcoholic? so cold hearted?
that isn't me.
and if it is, i want need to change and become a person that i want need to be.
Simple. As. That.
this weekend i've learned so much about myself.
the sad part is, i'm sure everyone already knew these things about me before i did.
example: terrified of commitment.
i have no idea why.
example 2: i worry so much about disappointing certain people, that i forget to enjoy life.
besides, there are some people who just can't be satisfied.
sad. but true.
example 3: i miss my youth group. a lot. i miss the comfort in "talking" to God. it doesn't matter what religion you are, it's in human nature to find comfort in the possibility that someone will love you no matter you do. and that is God's job after all....
So,
-Pat
-Ryan
-Cole
-York
-Aaron
-Patrick
-Jeffrey
i'm sorry for being such a shitty girlfriend.
i'm sorry for hurting you.
but don't worry, because karma is a bitch.
she'll kick my ass for you.
-Joey
-Katie
-Cheyenne
-Hannah
-Beverly
-Molly
-Amanda S.
-Sarah Y.
-Jackie
-Sarah V.
-Julia
-Sarah B.
-all my other girls/homeboys
-Ronnie (let's face it, all my guy friends, are also my ex's, except for you.)
i'm sorry for not being such a shitty friend.
and being so self-absorbed in my own problems to not ask about yours.
like i told the boys, karma is a bitch. she'll kick my ass for you.
i'll try to stop hurting you.
one day at a time.
i'll be more honest.
more open.
more caring.
more committed.
more loving.
more of the new me.
i love you all.
seriously.
i would have given up months ago if it weren't for you.
forever in debt,
-Ashley
<333333333333333333333333333
everyone that knows me, has more than likely seen this first hand.
and for that, i'm sorry.
truly sorry.
because more than likely i've either lied to you, cheated on you, or at one point in time made you feel worthless.
last night as i was lying in bed, i couldn't stop crying.
who i am today is not the person i wanted to be 15 years ago.
and i hate myself for that.
when did i become such a bad person?
a liar? unfaithful? a drug-addict? an alcoholic? so cold hearted?
that isn't me.
and if it is, i want need to change and become a person that i want need to be.
Simple. As. That.
this weekend i've learned so much about myself.
the sad part is, i'm sure everyone already knew these things about me before i did.
example: terrified of commitment.
i have no idea why.
example 2: i worry so much about disappointing certain people, that i forget to enjoy life.
besides, there are some people who just can't be satisfied.
sad. but true.
example 3: i miss my youth group. a lot. i miss the comfort in "talking" to God. it doesn't matter what religion you are, it's in human nature to find comfort in the possibility that someone will love you no matter you do. and that is God's job after all....
So,
-Pat
-Ryan
-Cole
-York
-Aaron
-Patrick
-Jeffrey
i'm sorry for being such a shitty girlfriend.
i'm sorry for hurting you.
but don't worry, because karma is a bitch.
she'll kick my ass for you.
-Joey
-Katie
-Cheyenne
-Hannah
-Beverly
-Molly
-Amanda S.
-Sarah Y.
-Jackie
-Sarah V.
-Julia
-Sarah B.
-all my other girls/homeboys
-Ronnie (let's face it, all my guy friends, are also my ex's, except for you.)
i'm sorry for not being such a shitty friend.
and being so self-absorbed in my own problems to not ask about yours.
like i told the boys, karma is a bitch. she'll kick my ass for you.
i'll try to stop hurting you.
one day at a time.
i'll be more honest.
more open.
more caring.
more committed.
more loving.
more of the new me.
i love you all.
seriously.
i would have given up months ago if it weren't for you.
forever in debt,
-Ashley
<333333333333333333333333333