Continued from here"Cordelia, sit back," I said, looking at her out of the corner of my eye as we pulled onto the freeway, headed home. "We didn't know, and you're not going to die
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I turned around on the edge of the bed slightly so I could face him better, and laid a hand on his shoulder. I squeezed gently, and awkwardly muttered, "I know... what do you want me to do?"
I looked at him, and frowned when I saw the pain he was trying to hide in his eyes; he was still hurting, but of course he wasn't going to mention it... I gripped his shoulder tighter, and asked, "Tell me what I can do... please?"
I wasn't used to feeling this helpless; I was used to going out and slaying the demon, no questions asked, no hard feelings. But this... this was farther than a demon, this was someone almost dying because I hadn't kept the demon away from him. What good I was, almost getting him killed on my first day out of my room. No wonder I was better off alone.
Except for the part where... I belonged here. I had a reason to be with my friends, something I hadn't had even back in Sunnydale. Back there, I had been more of a danger than a help.
Looking back at Wesley, I looked away slightly, not sure what I was supposed to do. He wasn't shivering anymore, so I guessed he wasn't cold, but he still looked like he was hurting, and I had no idea what to do... wasn't I supposed to be able to help people, not just watch them hurt?
Of course Angel would have no idea what to do. And part of me is angry about that. Two hundred and something years old, and he still doesn't know what to do. And I'm angered by the guilt I can still read in his eyes. I'm even more angered that I can't say anything about it, or even *move*. I'd have hit him over the head by now. It's not always about him. I *chose* to hunt down that demon. I *chose* to fight him. I did not see him holding a gun to my head or something.
If Cordelia were here, she'd probably fuss and hold my hand and ask if I needed anything before forcing some water down my throat. She wouldn't care about any pride. Gunn would probably do the same, but covering it up with some tale about the time he still fought with his crew. Or something other humorous. They wouldn't sit around brooding. Feeling guilty themselves about something that was my fault. I'd have done the same. It's inevitable in our profession and we all know it.
Taking a ragging breath, I let it out slowly again, noticing how shaky it is. This is so damn frustrating. "Stop...that," I grate out, trying to give him a stern look. "Not...your fault. Dammit." Sucking in my breath, I try to move my legs again as another jolt of pain shoots through. Must be to prevent the victim from running off. As though being paralyzed isn't enough. "Legs...hurt." And dear god, instead of ice cold, it's now getting extremely hot? It takes me some effort, but I manage to bring up my hand to push the covers down a bit without much though.
I listened to his shaky breathing, even as my eyes narrowed. It wasn't all my fault, but maybe before I had rushed off to do the killing thing, I could have done something. I don't know, like make sure the demon wouldn't get him all sick. I knew it was his choice, but... he had been trying to help me.
Shaking my head slightly, I ignored it, then looked at him concernedly. "Wes?"
His legs hurt... shit. I picked the book back up, wondering if there was something specific being done to his legs, then threw it aside when I realized I had read everything there, and that unless the book was mystical, it wasn't going to give me new information spontaneously. Looking back at Wes, I was surprised to see that he had shoved the sheets down slightly.
His hand fell away, trembling a bit, and I said suddenly, "I'm gonna get you some water." I stood up, glancing at him, then frowned slightly, saying akwardly, "I guess I don't have to tell you to not go anywhere, huh?" I offered a small smile, hoping I hadn't pissed him off further, as I slipped into the adjoining room and over to the kitchen.
I got a glass and filled it with cold water, then on second thought, threw in a few ice cubes. He had been cold, but if he was pushing the covers down... and weren't you supposed to give people cold water, as compared to hot water? Didn't they like cold water better?
Going back into the room, I set the glass down on the table as I climbed carefully back on the bed, then hesitated slightly. How was I supposed to do this? I said awkwardly, "Okay, so, um, I'm gonna try to help you sit up, okay?"
I started to slip a hand under his shoulders, and I was startled by the sudden heat coming from his skin. This wasn't good... I lifted him up, then muttered, "Sorry if I hurt you..."
I blinked up at him when he called my name. The sound of his voice feeling at though someone had shot a gun near my ears. Squinting I looked at him questionably, but he was to busy browsing through the books again. Book, that one book he found the reference of that demon in. Probably double checking if he missed anything. Or something. Can't think of another reason he'd thumb through it. Can't *think* at all.
Good lord it was hot. Not warm, no *hot*. I heard Angel's voice again and opened my eyes to look at him. A small smile played over my lips when he told me he didn't have to tell me to go anywhere. I mouthed a no, and closed my eyes again. Get me water. Dammit. He'll need to help me with that, I can't even sit up. This whole experience was getting quite humiliating. And annoying. Very annoying.
I just concentrated on breathing and trying to ignore how hot it was in here until Angel came back. Cracking one eye open I squinted at him. He looked a bit blurry. Which had probably to do with the fact that I didn't have my glasses on. Right, needed to get a new pair of those as well. This really is my lucky day. Angel finally comes out of his dark cave and what happens? Stumbling Wesley messes up again.
Managing a nod, a resigned one at that, I patiently waited for him to help me up. For some reason he startled and a small jolt went though me. Clenching my teeth together, I forced in a deep breath and blinked at him. "Is...alright. 'M fine." Just get me that water. Make the pain stop. Make the heat stop. Make me able to move again. Oh, and winning the lottery would be splendid too.
I carefully helped him to get into a sitting position, leaning him up against the headboard of the bed. I took my arm back from behind his shoulders, and reached over to get the glass of water. I pulled it over, then looked back ay Wes.
"Here," I said, unneccesarily. The glass was slightly slippery in my hand, from the condensation, and I brought it over to his mouth. I hesitated again slightly, then held the glass, waiting for him to open his mouth. As I did, I flinched slightly as a drop dripped from the glass, hitting Wesley's bare skin.
"Oops... sorry," I muttered quickly. Because this was the best thing to do, when trying to give your best friend a drink because he's paralyzed and was freezing- drip icy water on his bare skin. That would make him feel better... I tilted the glass toward him slightly, trying to get him to drink a little bit.
Angel helped me into a sitting position, and for once I was glad it was so hot. It certainly did a good job of hiding my blush. This was so embarrassing. And humiliating. Settling back against the headboard, which was nice and cool against the bare skin of my back, I concentrated on breathing again.
I noticed my eyes had closed on their own accord again, when Angel's voice came. It took some effort to open them and look, squint, at Angel. Parting my lips, I tried to drink as much as I could, even though swallowing hurt somewhat. The cool water did sooth my dry throat. I quickly swallowed more, as much as I could without needing to breath again.
A shiver ran through me when a cool drop of water fell on my chest. That actually felt rather nice. "'s...okay," I whispered, looking up at him. Bloody hell, I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Not because I'm tired, though there is that, but because they keep closing.
I looked at him, and frowned when I saw the pain he was trying to hide in his eyes; he was still hurting, but of course he wasn't going to mention it... I gripped his shoulder tighter, and asked, "Tell me what I can do... please?"
I wasn't used to feeling this helpless; I was used to going out and slaying the demon, no questions asked, no hard feelings. But this... this was farther than a demon, this was someone almost dying because I hadn't kept the demon away from him. What good I was, almost getting him killed on my first day out of my room. No wonder I was better off alone.
Except for the part where... I belonged here. I had a reason to be with my friends, something I hadn't had even back in Sunnydale. Back there, I had been more of a danger than a help.
Looking back at Wesley, I looked away slightly, not sure what I was supposed to do. He wasn't shivering anymore, so I guessed he wasn't cold, but he still looked like he was hurting, and I had no idea what to do... wasn't I supposed to be able to help people, not just watch them hurt?
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If Cordelia were here, she'd probably fuss and hold my hand and ask if I needed anything before forcing some water down my throat. She wouldn't care about any pride. Gunn would probably do the same, but covering it up with some tale about the time he still fought with his crew. Or something other humorous. They wouldn't sit around brooding. Feeling guilty themselves about something that was my fault. I'd have done the same. It's inevitable in our profession and we all know it.
Taking a ragging breath, I let it out slowly again, noticing how shaky it is. This is so damn frustrating. "Stop...that," I grate out, trying to give him a stern look. "Not...your fault. Dammit." Sucking in my breath, I try to move my legs again as another jolt of pain shoots through. Must be to prevent the victim from running off. As though being paralyzed isn't enough. "Legs...hurt." And dear god, instead of ice cold, it's now getting extremely hot? It takes me some effort, but I manage to bring up my hand to push the covers down a bit without much though.
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Shaking my head slightly, I ignored it, then looked at him concernedly. "Wes?"
His legs hurt... shit. I picked the book back up, wondering if there was something specific being done to his legs, then threw it aside when I realized I had read everything there, and that unless the book was mystical, it wasn't going to give me new information spontaneously. Looking back at Wes, I was surprised to see that he had shoved the sheets down slightly.
His hand fell away, trembling a bit, and I said suddenly, "I'm gonna get you some water." I stood up, glancing at him, then frowned slightly, saying akwardly, "I guess I don't have to tell you to not go anywhere, huh?" I offered a small smile, hoping I hadn't pissed him off further, as I slipped into the adjoining room and over to the kitchen.
I got a glass and filled it with cold water, then on second thought, threw in a few ice cubes. He had been cold, but if he was pushing the covers down... and weren't you supposed to give people cold water, as compared to hot water? Didn't they like cold water better?
Going back into the room, I set the glass down on the table as I climbed carefully back on the bed, then hesitated slightly. How was I supposed to do this? I said awkwardly, "Okay, so, um, I'm gonna try to help you sit up, okay?"
I started to slip a hand under his shoulders, and I was startled by the sudden heat coming from his skin. This wasn't good... I lifted him up, then muttered, "Sorry if I hurt you..."
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Good lord it was hot. Not warm, no *hot*. I heard Angel's voice again and opened my eyes to look at him. A small smile played over my lips when he told me he didn't have to tell me to go anywhere. I mouthed a no, and closed my eyes again. Get me water. Dammit. He'll need to help me with that, I can't even sit up. This whole experience was getting quite humiliating. And annoying. Very annoying.
I just concentrated on breathing and trying to ignore how hot it was in here until Angel came back. Cracking one eye open I squinted at him. He looked a bit blurry. Which had probably to do with the fact that I didn't have my glasses on. Right, needed to get a new pair of those as well. This really is my lucky day. Angel finally comes out of his dark cave and what happens? Stumbling Wesley messes up again.
Managing a nod, a resigned one at that, I patiently waited for him to help me up. For some reason he startled and a small jolt went though me. Clenching my teeth together, I forced in a deep breath and blinked at him. "Is...alright. 'M fine." Just get me that water. Make the pain stop. Make the heat stop. Make me able to move again. Oh, and winning the lottery would be splendid too.
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"Here," I said, unneccesarily. The glass was slightly slippery in my hand, from the condensation, and I brought it over to his mouth. I hesitated again slightly, then held the glass, waiting for him to open his mouth. As I did, I flinched slightly as a drop dripped from the glass, hitting Wesley's bare skin.
"Oops... sorry," I muttered quickly. Because this was the best thing to do, when trying to give your best friend a drink because he's paralyzed and was freezing- drip icy water on his bare skin. That would make him feel better... I tilted the glass toward him slightly, trying to get him to drink a little bit.
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I noticed my eyes had closed on their own accord again, when Angel's voice came. It took some effort to open them and look, squint, at Angel. Parting my lips, I tried to drink as much as I could, even though swallowing hurt somewhat. The cool water did sooth my dry throat. I quickly swallowed more, as much as I could without needing to breath again.
A shiver ran through me when a cool drop of water fell on my chest. That actually felt rather nice. "'s...okay," I whispered, looking up at him. Bloody hell, I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Not because I'm tired, though there is that, but because they keep closing.
"Felt...nice."
Hot. Hot. It's so sodding hot in here.
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