Jun 30, 2021 17:00
Friday it'll be 20yrs since I lost that guiding voice that helped talk me through hard decisions & weird situations, my sister.
20yrs since a huge part of my life was utterly & unquestionably changed.
I still & will likely always remember the last words she said just months prior to her passing...
"We have so much more to talk about."
:: with fathre's passing just months ago January, yes, Jax, we DO have so much more to talk about
but we'll get there in time - I'm in no rush :)
you'd never believe it, sis, but fathre actually said he was proud of me...
yeah, he said it - literally - on his deathbed, but he said it
who would've thought, huh ?
my world has been SO different without you here, without our talks & suggestions when I had questions on life & decisions
I've had to be my own guide & decide things fully of my own accord since - thanks SO much for that //sarcasm//
but I think I did ok, for the most parts
ups & downs, y'know, but that's par for the course, neh ?
...you never got to meet my ex-wife or surviving daughters
I even named my eldest surviving daughter after you ( I know, I know... )
she doesn't understand the honour in it - maybe never will - and, no, she's nothing like you
not that I expected her to be... that'd be really weird ! but still *laughs*
you were one of a kind, Jax
wish you could've met my spawnlings - could've used you when we lost the first & last
*shrugs* but we get by
not so certain you would've liked the ex-wife, but she loved mothre and fathre, more than her own parents ( so she's said )
we've became friends since the divorce, so that's a good deal
it's all about our girls, of course - that's the key to everything
and she helped out a lot in getting me through your passing... it took years
aye, still hurts - always will - and with fathre, too ... and, yeh, mothre as well
we'd become close the past decade, fathre & I ... neither of us imagined that would've ever happened !
weirdness, neh ?
ANYways... miss ya, Jax, oh sister-of-mine - 20yrs ... (wow)
you're in my thoughts... ::
twittage ::
6/13 : awww... went to get ( some :( ) of my packages from the delivery box & there were ducks swimming in the complex pool ! <3 ... no, didn't have phone on me just to get packages - on a weird/annoying note, another "delivery was attempted & failed" an hour ago, yet I was home... >:(
6/20 : My 15th 'Father's Day' as a fathre... & 1st w/o my fathre - girls still asleep, at least I assume since I haven't gotten off the couch yet & they're not out here :D ...ANYways, last day of vaca, too !
6/29 : "What are you doing for the 4th?"
I have my girls on Saturday.
"What are doing this weekend?"
I have. my girls. on. Saturday.
"I meant for the holiday"
...
watched recently :
via rental/streaming:
Invisible City (1st Season)
Loki (1st Season)
Lucifer (5th Season)
Monster Hunter
Hunter X Hunter (1st Season)
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
Sam & Cat (1st Season)
Shameless (3rd Season)
Star Trek: Lower Decks (1st Season)
ownedflix:
Ash Vs Evil Dead (1st Season)
The Magicians (2nd - 5th Seasons)
Frontier(s) (Afterdark Horrorfest II)
The Cloverfield Paradox
Blumhouse's Fantasy Island
Sucker Punch
-thom Wolfox sR Rhose, AK/GOT (OOP)
"Keep Living & Loving Life!"
"America needs creation not destruction, cooperation not contempt, security not anarchy, healing not hatred, justice not chaos."
President Donald Trump * June 1st, 2020
updatev2,
deathdays,
jacqueline,
jax,
remembrance,
memoria,
fathre