God fucking damnit.
I still have so much work to do and guess what I CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE.
Why do I feel like there is so much going wrong with OTHER PEOPLE and it's MY fault even though, goddamn, YOU approached me, YOU held my hand, YOU slept in MY bed, YOU kissed ME. How am I SUPPOSED to feel right now? I should have been strong enough to say no. Now there are 3 people right now really confused and hurt and it's not my fault but I feel like it is. I don't even know this one person, which somehow, makes it worse. All I wanted was to, after years of being tortured and abused both physically and mentally to find someone who would treat me right... but I'm starting to think that I'm just going to have to deal with being alone for a long fucking time.
I have so much work to do. I need to put my head back on my shoulders and get it done. My head is throbbing. My back feels like it's slowly breaking in half. My heart is pounding so hard and I can't get it to calm down.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I wish I would have met you under different circumstances.
Why do I feel like there is so much going wrong with OTHER PEOPLE and it's MY fault even though, goddamn, YOU approached me, YOU held my hand, YOU slept in MY bed, YOU kissed ME. How am I SUPPOSED to feel right now? I should have been strong enough to say no. Now there are 3 people right now really confused and hurt and it's not my fault but I feel like it is. I don't even know this one person, which somehow, makes it worse. All I wanted was to, after years of being tortured and abused both physically and mentally to find someone who would treat me right... but I'm starting to think that I'm just going to have to deal with being alone for a long fucking time.
I have so much work to do. I need to put my head back on my shoulders and get it done. My head is throbbing. My back feels like it's slowly breaking in half. My heart is pounding so hard and I can't get it to calm down.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I wish I would have met you under different circumstances.