fuck and kiss you both at the same time!
and then i went to milwaukee and then i watched one of the dumbest movies ever which all of my friends managed to like which made me kind of not like any of my friends, not least because the kept using the word "psychological" to describe why they thought the movie was good and scary which, in my opinion, made them sound like a bunch of fucking morons (jesus christ i hate psychology and i hate the word psychological and i fucking hate when people think it is an acceptable way to describe anything in lieu of actually having a cogent explanation), and then i couldn't stop saying "holy shit guys, we're in wisconsin." and "hey, what if we lived in wisconsin?" and it was really weird to think about, even though it's only the next state over and it's not any weirder than illinois, it's weirder to think about wisconsin than it is to think about milwaukee. i don't know why this is. i guess cities are somehow less abstract than states.
and then i came home and watched the doctor who finale, emerging from my room at appropriate intervals to say "WHAT. THE. FUCK?" and then i thought about it and
1)can i just say? i fucking love doctor who. i seriously do. and if i can forgive colin baker for two seasons, i can forgive damn near anything. that said, after the last two episodes, i was vaguely let down that i felt i had to forgive anything. utopia/the sound of drums were effing ace. last of the time lords...eh. not as awful as everyone keeps wanking on about, i think, but not phenomenal either. i appreciate the self-referentialness of the Magic Reset Button on a show like this, but as a plot device i can't really stomach it. i was torn.
2)another thing i didn't really like at all was how lucy saxon went from totally involved awesome insane to drugged up wall-hugging eye candy. she wasn't scheming anymore and she wasn't necessary and we never find out what the heck is up with her or who the heck she is or if she's just some girl the master picked up along the way or if she's something else entirely or if harriet jonesvivian rook was completely wrong about her being not too bright and she's actually a complete evil genius mastermind OR IF I AM NOT ACTUALLY ON CRACK AND SHE IS, IN FACT, THE RANI AND SHE'S REALLY BRILLIANT AND SHE HAS JUST BEEN ON EARTH LONGER THAN THE MASTER AND HAS HAD MORE TIME TO ESTABLISH HERSELF AND HER FALSE HISTORY AND DID A MUCH BETTER JOB AND SHE JUST HAD EVERYONE COMPLETELY FOOLED AND WAS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO MUG THE MASTER AND YOINK HIS RASSILON BLING. god i hope she's the rani. i have no idea how they'd retcon that one, though. psychic mobile phone network satellite filters were already a bit of a stretch for explaining why the doctor didn't know the master was there, but i'll buy it. but, i mean, i guess she's a mad scientist. she could have all sorts of kooky gadgets and i wouldn't question them. i do still wish, though, that lucy hadn't gotten the short end of the stick and been turned into some sort of femme fatale caricature. red dress and nail polish and lipstick and holding the smoking gun at the end? haven't media scholars written volumes about how hollywood in the 1940s basically was the gay agenda? w/e.
3)i'm not even going to touch the doctor's rapid aging. nope. never happened. however, unlike most people apparently, i did enjoy that he shrunk. people shrink when they get older. i can believe that time lord bones decalcify as well, and nine hundred years is a long time.
4)yes, he was cgi crap. yes, he was basically gollum. but that face still managed to look like david tennant. way to go, guys. that actually really did help me to suspend my disbelief through the drums blaring through my head calling me to warall the sheer wtf-ery.
5)but honestly? more than anything this episode made me feel sad. there was such a sense of finality and loss and loneliness and maybe i didn't get that from any of the other finales because i watched everything all through and there was no space for contemplation and no six month stretch between a huge casting change and christmas (yes, i am a new fan!) but this just made me all squishy and cold inside because it seemed like everything was ending and everyone was basically dying and the doctor was well and truly alone this time for reals. like the master? dead. (maybe.) martha? gone. (maybe.) jack? dead and gone. this was the saddest part. jack is the face of boe? o-kaaaaaayyyyyy. okay, fine. rtd is smoking liberally of the crack and that thing people were saying on the internet that was a huge effing joke actually turned out to be true. fine. i'll buy it. but the face of boe is dead. he died in gridlock and i can't believe it because in utopia they were joking about how jack might still be around at the end of the universe and he could go meet himself and he can't because he died and the doctor saw it and martha saw it and she knows he's dead but rose doesn't. i mean, rose didn't really know him. she knew jack. and martha didn't really know jack at all but she knew the face of boe and she was with him when he died and somehow that doesn't seem fair to me. i don't know. so when you think about it, everyone the doctor knew is dead or gone for real this time, there's no switch, just nothing, just him and god help us all he's probably going to go all emo again for another season and a half.
6)as contrived and needlessly messianic as it was, i did like that martha got the entire psychically-linked planet to think the same word at the same time and that that's what saved the world. i don't care that the power of positive thought makes me sound like a giant hippie! i think it's really kind of badass that they could come up with a plan like that. i'm still not sure exactly how or when they had the time to plan that all out and give really specific instructions, or what martha blabbing about how she was in twuu lub had to do with saving the world, or why anyone would have needed to congregate in a large group or why that would have ever been allowed under, like, the master's totalitarian regime, but all in all, i approve.
7)"great, i'm traveling with the doctor". yeah, martha, some of your lines were winners. because sometimes? you just have to sit back, take a look at your life, and say "of course. why not?"
8)everything dies, baby, that's a fact. but maybe everything that dies someday comes back. (put some makeup on, fix your hair up pretty and come meet me tonight in atlantic city...)
9)the titanic: more powerful than the assembled hordes of ghengis khan. good to know.
10)pop music will take over the world.
11)even though the whole master death sequence made me all sad and girly, i thought it was so effing badass and really kind of what the master would do, wouldn't he? because when the doctor was all like "zomg no we're the only two left and i shall be lonely 4evs without you!" and the master was all "oh hahahaha i totally win, bitch!" i was like "yeah. alright, he would do that, wouldn't he? but he's not really dead because then he won't be able to enjoy finally pwning the doctor. but john simm master is gone and that sucks because i'd totally go straight for him!" and then i pondered this.
12)and then i thought about tiemcocks some more (ha!) because everytime i think "no, i just think these gents are attractive and wish they were doin' each other because i'm a giant perv apparently" i remember the five doctors and remember how yes, yes in fact they probably are getting it on. or have. will repeat.
13)thank goodness for forty years of back canon to keep me busy for the next six months or else i might go insane. that's...really sad, guys.
14)i feel like comic book guy everytime i do this. for serious.
15)this took about two days to post because i kept getting distracted. that might explain the inconsistencies. or i am just psychotic. w/e.
16)in conclusion:
utopia: 8/10
the sound of drums: 9/10
last of the time lords: 6.5/10
as a trilogy: 8/10. actually, it's 7.8, but i'm rounding to 8 because the first two parts were really excellent.
thoughts?
and then i came home and watched the doctor who finale, emerging from my room at appropriate intervals to say "WHAT. THE. FUCK?" and then i thought about it and
1)can i just say? i fucking love doctor who. i seriously do. and if i can forgive colin baker for two seasons, i can forgive damn near anything. that said, after the last two episodes, i was vaguely let down that i felt i had to forgive anything. utopia/the sound of drums were effing ace. last of the time lords...eh. not as awful as everyone keeps wanking on about, i think, but not phenomenal either. i appreciate the self-referentialness of the Magic Reset Button on a show like this, but as a plot device i can't really stomach it. i was torn.
2)another thing i didn't really like at all was how lucy saxon went from totally involved awesome insane to drugged up wall-hugging eye candy. she wasn't scheming anymore and she wasn't necessary and we never find out what the heck is up with her or who the heck she is or if she's just some girl the master picked up along the way or if she's something else entirely or if harriet jonesvivian rook was completely wrong about her being not too bright and she's actually a complete evil genius mastermind OR IF I AM NOT ACTUALLY ON CRACK AND SHE IS, IN FACT, THE RANI AND SHE'S REALLY BRILLIANT AND SHE HAS JUST BEEN ON EARTH LONGER THAN THE MASTER AND HAS HAD MORE TIME TO ESTABLISH HERSELF AND HER FALSE HISTORY AND DID A MUCH BETTER JOB AND SHE JUST HAD EVERYONE COMPLETELY FOOLED AND WAS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO MUG THE MASTER AND YOINK HIS RASSILON BLING. god i hope she's the rani. i have no idea how they'd retcon that one, though. psychic mobile phone network satellite filters were already a bit of a stretch for explaining why the doctor didn't know the master was there, but i'll buy it. but, i mean, i guess she's a mad scientist. she could have all sorts of kooky gadgets and i wouldn't question them. i do still wish, though, that lucy hadn't gotten the short end of the stick and been turned into some sort of femme fatale caricature. red dress and nail polish and lipstick and holding the smoking gun at the end? haven't media scholars written volumes about how hollywood in the 1940s basically was the gay agenda? w/e.
3)i'm not even going to touch the doctor's rapid aging. nope. never happened. however, unlike most people apparently, i did enjoy that he shrunk. people shrink when they get older. i can believe that time lord bones decalcify as well, and nine hundred years is a long time.
4)yes, he was cgi crap. yes, he was basically gollum. but that face still managed to look like david tennant. way to go, guys. that actually really did help me to suspend my disbelief through the drums blaring through my head calling me to warall the sheer wtf-ery.
5)but honestly? more than anything this episode made me feel sad. there was such a sense of finality and loss and loneliness and maybe i didn't get that from any of the other finales because i watched everything all through and there was no space for contemplation and no six month stretch between a huge casting change and christmas (yes, i am a new fan!) but this just made me all squishy and cold inside because it seemed like everything was ending and everyone was basically dying and the doctor was well and truly alone this time for reals. like the master? dead. (maybe.) martha? gone. (maybe.) jack? dead and gone. this was the saddest part. jack is the face of boe? o-kaaaaaayyyyyy. okay, fine. rtd is smoking liberally of the crack and that thing people were saying on the internet that was a huge effing joke actually turned out to be true. fine. i'll buy it. but the face of boe is dead. he died in gridlock and i can't believe it because in utopia they were joking about how jack might still be around at the end of the universe and he could go meet himself and he can't because he died and the doctor saw it and martha saw it and she knows he's dead but rose doesn't. i mean, rose didn't really know him. she knew jack. and martha didn't really know jack at all but she knew the face of boe and she was with him when he died and somehow that doesn't seem fair to me. i don't know. so when you think about it, everyone the doctor knew is dead or gone for real this time, there's no switch, just nothing, just him and god help us all he's probably going to go all emo again for another season and a half.
6)as contrived and needlessly messianic as it was, i did like that martha got the entire psychically-linked planet to think the same word at the same time and that that's what saved the world. i don't care that the power of positive thought makes me sound like a giant hippie! i think it's really kind of badass that they could come up with a plan like that. i'm still not sure exactly how or when they had the time to plan that all out and give really specific instructions, or what martha blabbing about how she was in twuu lub had to do with saving the world, or why anyone would have needed to congregate in a large group or why that would have ever been allowed under, like, the master's totalitarian regime, but all in all, i approve.
7)"great, i'm traveling with the doctor". yeah, martha, some of your lines were winners. because sometimes? you just have to sit back, take a look at your life, and say "of course. why not?"
8)everything dies, baby, that's a fact. but maybe everything that dies someday comes back. (put some makeup on, fix your hair up pretty and come meet me tonight in atlantic city...)
9)the titanic: more powerful than the assembled hordes of ghengis khan. good to know.
10)pop music will take over the world.
11)even though the whole master death sequence made me all sad and girly, i thought it was so effing badass and really kind of what the master would do, wouldn't he? because when the doctor was all like "zomg no we're the only two left and i shall be lonely 4evs without you!" and the master was all "oh hahahaha i totally win, bitch!" i was like "yeah. alright, he would do that, wouldn't he? but he's not really dead because then he won't be able to enjoy finally pwning the doctor. but john simm master is gone and that sucks because i'd totally go straight for him!" and then i pondered this.
12)and then i thought about tiemcocks some more (ha!) because everytime i think "no, i just think these gents are attractive and wish they were doin' each other because i'm a giant perv apparently" i remember the five doctors and remember how yes, yes in fact they probably are getting it on. or have. will repeat.
13)thank goodness for forty years of back canon to keep me busy for the next six months or else i might go insane. that's...really sad, guys.
14)i feel like comic book guy everytime i do this. for serious.
15)this took about two days to post because i kept getting distracted. that might explain the inconsistencies. or i am just psychotic. w/e.
16)in conclusion:
utopia: 8/10
the sound of drums: 9/10
last of the time lords: 6.5/10
as a trilogy: 8/10. actually, it's 7.8, but i'm rounding to 8 because the first two parts were really excellent.
thoughts?