this is the start of something.......

[falloutgirl48]

text messages.
fuck it.
i cant stand this shit anymore.
laksjdsadjakdladk
i dont see the point to it anymore.
sitting in class listening to stories of girls who cheated on their boyfriends.
not doing my speech.
failing the class.
summer school.
Lara.
a million thoughts in my head.
a million thoughts i dont care about.
i hate when i stop caring about things.
camo pants and stupid hair.
vegan band and chucks.
no braces.
i hate it.
i hate this place.
i want to move now.
even though i promised people i would wait.
but i dont think i can wait anymore.
i dont think i can take this place anymore.
im not strong anymore.
i sneak out on school nights and get drunk and come home
at 4 in the morning. i go to school buzzing and not caring.
she walks away from me.
and i get a million text messages from ashlei.
zkldaskdjakdj.
megan teaches me how to make scrambled eggs on drunken nights.
but me...with a changed attitude.....
will think of the situation diffrently.
I have been having dreams about rehab......and dreams about me getting fucked up
and getting busted by the cops....
and going back to rehab.
which sounds so good. so perfect to me. better than anything.
almost better than florida.
ill be there soon.
leaving faggot portland......and being free.
Lara always told me to be free.
and i swear to fucking god
if i change my hair
one more god damn time
im slitting my wrists
until i bleed all over
and every shirt i own
is red.
ajhdakdjhsaejhajdhajsedhajdhasdhsdhasdasd