:(
First, thank you to each and every one of you who were and are willing to listen to silly me grumble and groan. I truly appreciate it, and I hope you know that I mean that from the bottom of my broken heart.
Scott still hasn't called. I'm figuring it's really over. I don't even know. I feel so disrespected. How could he lead me in the dark and let me stay there without knowing where my life was headed. I know how I feel. How does he not?
I hate crying. I hate this. I hate feeling this way and not knowing if it's the right or wrong way to feel. I can't stop crying because I know it's all my fault. I'm the biggest idiot around. I lost the one thing I thought I couldn't lose and never wanted to either.
New Years Day would be our one year. I just wish he'd call to tell me it's really over or otherwise. He knows I hate not knowing... so I hope this isn't him taking advantage of it.
So... life sucks. No new news there. I just don't know what to do with myself. I wish I could go one year back and not go to that stupid party at house. I wish this because why would God, if there is one, let us meet... if we aren't meant to be? To teach us lessons? HA! I think being cheated on, lied to, having my heart broken and stomped on is enough lessons. But I guess I have more learning to do.
Like not being so jealous. But after being cheated on... I can't help it. And trust issues... never had those either until I started dating.
Well... time to cry another night to sleep... seems like history is repeating itself... but at least I might be losing weight since my appetite is fading like it did last year. Yay.
Love always,
Fallon
Scott still hasn't called. I'm figuring it's really over. I don't even know. I feel so disrespected. How could he lead me in the dark and let me stay there without knowing where my life was headed. I know how I feel. How does he not?
I hate crying. I hate this. I hate feeling this way and not knowing if it's the right or wrong way to feel. I can't stop crying because I know it's all my fault. I'm the biggest idiot around. I lost the one thing I thought I couldn't lose and never wanted to either.
New Years Day would be our one year. I just wish he'd call to tell me it's really over or otherwise. He knows I hate not knowing... so I hope this isn't him taking advantage of it.
So... life sucks. No new news there. I just don't know what to do with myself. I wish I could go one year back and not go to that stupid party at house. I wish this because why would God, if there is one, let us meet... if we aren't meant to be? To teach us lessons? HA! I think being cheated on, lied to, having my heart broken and stomped on is enough lessons. But I guess I have more learning to do.
Like not being so jealous. But after being cheated on... I can't help it. And trust issues... never had those either until I started dating.
Well... time to cry another night to sleep... seems like history is repeating itself... but at least I might be losing weight since my appetite is fading like it did last year. Yay.
Love always,
Fallon