sunny side up
things couldn't have ended better with Nick, we hung out pretty much all day yesterday and i expressed my pissed off-ness to him to which he understood and apologized and then we hugged it out and said neither of us wanted any bullshit between each other and then spent the day watching movies, got coffee, chatted and then parted ways. Me to get ready and him to go practice for the show.
Met up with sara and allisah to start the night at the ship had a couple drinks, then headed over to gallies. The black cupid set was one of my favourites yet, they did a great job and it was just fun. I gave Nick space to talk with all the fan girls and what not, and i finally got to hear acceptance speech live (which i LOVED) and even got a little shout out from him "homie of the year" and a kiss on the cheek from the stage. Then after I hung out at the bar till close, talking to this much older gentleman who sara knows (turns out he owns the view) and he bought me a shot and i over complimented his smile....which looks like joesph gordon levitts. I took his number and later on he asked me if i wanted to come to his place...i said i wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight....but i really just wanted one last sleepover with Nick. Which im glad i did because he called me over and told me he wanted to go back to my place and make out. We stopped for food at A&W because viva la pita was closed.
He made a comment about me hitting on the older guy (nick was like..hes like 52) i just responded with....awe your jealous, how cute. haha but who am i kidding i kinda love that i can make him a bit jelly, god knows i get jelly when it comes to him too. but then we came back here and smooched and cuddled.
it was just a perfect way to end this summer together, and i actually feel amazing about it. I have no regrets and i have no deep wishes that he was my boyfriend. if its not meant to be anything more than it is, then im good with that. Finally. Hes an amazing guy and i am SO happy he came into my life and effected me the way he did. I learned a lot from him and have been insanely inspired by him. The travelling, the things i know now what i want to find in a person (sure not all things, cuz some stuff that happened wasnt cool) and the biggest thing i love that i learned is that i dont need to worry about things happening organically (which is a legit fear in this day and age). Thats my favourite part, i wasnt looking for anything like this...and then BAM he dropped into my life and for a long while i really wanted to date him, i felt like i found the coolest person in the world (which he totally is) for me and wanted it all. And there was a small time where he was into me like that but things evolved and this is the best relationship ive had with a straight guy who isnt my boyfriend in my whole life. I love him - very much. And i cant wait to see where we are with each other in 20 years.
I want him to be at my wedding hanging out with my husband and my dad and i want us to dance to our special songs together. I want to get updates on his kids lives and i want to meet his girlfriend/wife and i want to be friends with Nicki. I want this to last forever. and i really hope it does. with every part of me i hope it does.....and garcia can come along for the ride because i fucking love him too.
**future mara here - from 2020. You never wanted those things you just always wanted him and didnt realize how you were being used and played. You no longer talk to this person and havent in a very long time, and your way better off...just an FYI
Met up with sara and allisah to start the night at the ship had a couple drinks, then headed over to gallies. The black cupid set was one of my favourites yet, they did a great job and it was just fun. I gave Nick space to talk with all the fan girls and what not, and i finally got to hear acceptance speech live (which i LOVED) and even got a little shout out from him "homie of the year" and a kiss on the cheek from the stage. Then after I hung out at the bar till close, talking to this much older gentleman who sara knows (turns out he owns the view) and he bought me a shot and i over complimented his smile....which looks like joesph gordon levitts. I took his number and later on he asked me if i wanted to come to his place...i said i wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight....but i really just wanted one last sleepover with Nick. Which im glad i did because he called me over and told me he wanted to go back to my place and make out. We stopped for food at A&W because viva la pita was closed.
He made a comment about me hitting on the older guy (nick was like..hes like 52) i just responded with....awe your jealous, how cute. haha but who am i kidding i kinda love that i can make him a bit jelly, god knows i get jelly when it comes to him too. but then we came back here and smooched and cuddled.
it was just a perfect way to end this summer together, and i actually feel amazing about it. I have no regrets and i have no deep wishes that he was my boyfriend. if its not meant to be anything more than it is, then im good with that. Finally. Hes an amazing guy and i am SO happy he came into my life and effected me the way he did. I learned a lot from him and have been insanely inspired by him. The travelling, the things i know now what i want to find in a person (sure not all things, cuz some stuff that happened wasnt cool) and the biggest thing i love that i learned is that i dont need to worry about things happening organically (which is a legit fear in this day and age). Thats my favourite part, i wasnt looking for anything like this...and then BAM he dropped into my life and for a long while i really wanted to date him, i felt like i found the coolest person in the world (which he totally is) for me and wanted it all. And there was a small time where he was into me like that but things evolved and this is the best relationship ive had with a straight guy who isnt my boyfriend in my whole life. I love him - very much. And i cant wait to see where we are with each other in 20 years.
I want him to be at my wedding hanging out with my husband and my dad and i want us to dance to our special songs together. I want to get updates on his kids lives and i want to meet his girlfriend/wife and i want to be friends with Nicki. I want this to last forever. and i really hope it does. with every part of me i hope it does.....and garcia can come along for the ride because i fucking love him too.
**future mara here - from 2020. You never wanted those things you just always wanted him and didnt realize how you were being used and played. You no longer talk to this person and havent in a very long time, and your way better off...just an FYI