by loveablelarvae
I've made myself a
Common Promise.
To raise my children differently than
I
Myself
Was raised.
1995
Tee-Ball
Dance classes
Piano lessons
Karate lessons
Perfect grades.
Stress.
More stress than any 9 year old should be asked to
Handle.
But that's our world today.
You gotta be your best.
Do your best.
To do your best, you must do everything.
To be your best, you must
Be
Everything.
Otherwise, you're
Nothing.
I
Was nothing.
And I was treated as such.
Loving parents tried to make me a winner
In society's scrutinizing eyes.
Peers let me know the contrary truth.
This stress, compounded two years over,
Made me nothing
But a shell of a child.
Echoing within me were voices I did not recognize.
Yelling at me to do things I could not comprehend.
Did not want to comprehend.
Day in and day out
The voices were the only constant companion I had.
Nothing I ever did in life was good enough for my parents,
Teachers, or
"friends".
So much stress and pain
On such a weak structure.
Nervous breakdown
At eleven years old.
In the depths of my personal darkness,
I found
Me.
I emerged into the light
On my own,
Completely alone,
Without even my mental companions.
For the first time in years,
I was
Free.
I had taken a personal journey many do not take until their
Soul-searching teenage years.
And I had done so at eleven years of age.
While this saved me the trouble of
"Finding Myself"
In my teenage years,
I would not wish the pain and personal anguish
I endured during those early years of my life
On anyone.
And this is my
Common Promise.
To raise my children not as my parents raised me.
To avoid letting my children reach the depth
That I reached at such a young age.
This
Common Promise
Of many.
Not to become my parents.
And not to let my children
Become me.
Common Promise.
To raise my children differently than
I
Myself
Was raised.
1995
Tee-Ball
Dance classes
Piano lessons
Karate lessons
Perfect grades.
Stress.
More stress than any 9 year old should be asked to
Handle.
But that's our world today.
You gotta be your best.
Do your best.
To do your best, you must do everything.
To be your best, you must
Be
Everything.
Otherwise, you're
Nothing.
I
Was nothing.
And I was treated as such.
Loving parents tried to make me a winner
In society's scrutinizing eyes.
Peers let me know the contrary truth.
This stress, compounded two years over,
Made me nothing
But a shell of a child.
Echoing within me were voices I did not recognize.
Yelling at me to do things I could not comprehend.
Did not want to comprehend.
Day in and day out
The voices were the only constant companion I had.
Nothing I ever did in life was good enough for my parents,
Teachers, or
"friends".
So much stress and pain
On such a weak structure.
Nervous breakdown
At eleven years old.
In the depths of my personal darkness,
I found
Me.
I emerged into the light
On my own,
Completely alone,
Without even my mental companions.
For the first time in years,
I was
Free.
I had taken a personal journey many do not take until their
Soul-searching teenage years.
And I had done so at eleven years of age.
While this saved me the trouble of
"Finding Myself"
In my teenage years,
I would not wish the pain and personal anguish
I endured during those early years of my life
On anyone.
And this is my
Common Promise.
To raise my children not as my parents raised me.
To avoid letting my children reach the depth
That I reached at such a young age.
This
Common Promise
Of many.
Not to become my parents.
And not to let my children
Become me.