(no subject)
Im tired of it, as soon as people get better or start to feel better its like Im no use to them anymore, infact they want nothing to do with me anymore. Its fucking annoying, Im just a tool for them, somehting that helps them when they need it but I can be disregarded when not wanted.
Im tired of feeling this way. Im tired of wanting to not wake up every single morning, Im tired of just not wanting to live, of feeling depression. But you know what? FRom over 12 years fo it my life has grown around it, like two vines that have grown intertangled. When I find help again and we start to unravel the two from eachother it will destroy me, ill have no suport, ill crumble adn ill fall, I do not look forward to that but it will have to be done.
Im tired of having over 200 people on my buddy list but never talking to anyone.
Tired of having no friends, tired of being myself.
I just dont want to fight it anymroe I want to just let it consume me and its been hard for me not to let that happen. everything has been going wrong for me. Nobody can understand me thats why I never really bother to talk about myself to peopel anymore, nobody can help me anyways even if peopel would listen to me. hell half the time I jsut dont give them a chance to ask about me. Nobody wants to hear my shit, nobody wants to hear that I never have a good day anymore or how many times I took the razor or scalpel to my arm or leg, or how many pills I took .
Im htinking that I should just disapear.
I belong in a hospital but even their I am ridiculed by the stakk for my scars. I just dont care anymore
Im tired of feeling this way. Im tired of wanting to not wake up every single morning, Im tired of just not wanting to live, of feeling depression. But you know what? FRom over 12 years fo it my life has grown around it, like two vines that have grown intertangled. When I find help again and we start to unravel the two from eachother it will destroy me, ill have no suport, ill crumble adn ill fall, I do not look forward to that but it will have to be done.
Im tired of having over 200 people on my buddy list but never talking to anyone.
Tired of having no friends, tired of being myself.
I just dont want to fight it anymroe I want to just let it consume me and its been hard for me not to let that happen. everything has been going wrong for me. Nobody can understand me thats why I never really bother to talk about myself to peopel anymore, nobody can help me anyways even if peopel would listen to me. hell half the time I jsut dont give them a chance to ask about me. Nobody wants to hear my shit, nobody wants to hear that I never have a good day anymore or how many times I took the razor or scalpel to my arm or leg, or how many pills I took .
Im htinking that I should just disapear.
I belong in a hospital but even their I am ridiculed by the stakk for my scars. I just dont care anymore