(no subject)
I suck so hard at being an ex.
I've never been in a situation like this. I didn't realize certain things would effect me so much. Well...i kinda did for situations like saturday, but my wishes were disregarded.
I have no freakin clue why I'm not completely over it. It's been like two months now...little more i think. I'm usually fine 90% of the time, but certain things will set me off for days. Maybe it's because i didn't have the whole she's gone phase. It's hard to mourn losing a lover when you still see her everyday. I don't know, i just don't know. I don't want to be all moody, with all these ex petty insecurity feelings lingering, i wish this stuff didn't effect me, i wish my heart would listen to my mind.
I should have been better prepared for it. it's always lingered in my mind that i'd lose her to her old life, her fiends, her city. that and i'd not be good enough because i wasn't her usual male preferance. should i have brought this stuff up? probably, but i just wrote it off as lover's paranoia. i do feel lucky to have spent as much time with her as i did. coolest girlfriend ever. i'll be uber-jealous of any boy she has her eye on because i know they'll be in for a super fun, super hawt lady ;-P.
man this turned into a rant. look ma, i'm mourning!
Damn i need to get out more, i can't remember the last time i left the state, that's saying a lot....i can drive 10 miles north, east, or west and be in one of three different states. I've been hiding on WoW too much. It keeps my occupied, keeps me from worrying about all this other stress too much. It's a fun experience though, got a cool guild full of nice people. It was nice to get out friday, drink, act stupid. You can't go anywhere in fucking small ass delaware without seeing someone you know. we go to deerpark, and bill krupa from grade school comes up to us and hangs with us for a while. We got out to some girl's house that ricky knows and jessica happened to be there.
I got another cali party wake up call early sunday morning from sid and tara :-)
ok, maybe i should get to work now.
here's your regularly scheduled link showing the darker side of WoW RPing....
http://www.deceiveguild.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=562
(EDIT: Deleted "anonymous" comment, those two replies are in response to it.)
I've never been in a situation like this. I didn't realize certain things would effect me so much. Well...i kinda did for situations like saturday, but my wishes were disregarded.
I have no freakin clue why I'm not completely over it. It's been like two months now...little more i think. I'm usually fine 90% of the time, but certain things will set me off for days. Maybe it's because i didn't have the whole she's gone phase. It's hard to mourn losing a lover when you still see her everyday. I don't know, i just don't know. I don't want to be all moody, with all these ex petty insecurity feelings lingering, i wish this stuff didn't effect me, i wish my heart would listen to my mind.
I should have been better prepared for it. it's always lingered in my mind that i'd lose her to her old life, her fiends, her city. that and i'd not be good enough because i wasn't her usual male preferance. should i have brought this stuff up? probably, but i just wrote it off as lover's paranoia. i do feel lucky to have spent as much time with her as i did. coolest girlfriend ever. i'll be uber-jealous of any boy she has her eye on because i know they'll be in for a super fun, super hawt lady ;-P.
man this turned into a rant. look ma, i'm mourning!
Damn i need to get out more, i can't remember the last time i left the state, that's saying a lot....i can drive 10 miles north, east, or west and be in one of three different states. I've been hiding on WoW too much. It keeps my occupied, keeps me from worrying about all this other stress too much. It's a fun experience though, got a cool guild full of nice people. It was nice to get out friday, drink, act stupid. You can't go anywhere in fucking small ass delaware without seeing someone you know. we go to deerpark, and bill krupa from grade school comes up to us and hangs with us for a while. We got out to some girl's house that ricky knows and jessica happened to be there.
I got another cali party wake up call early sunday morning from sid and tara :-)
ok, maybe i should get to work now.
here's your regularly scheduled link showing the darker side of WoW RPing....
http://www.deceiveguild.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=562
(EDIT: Deleted "anonymous" comment, those two replies are in response to it.)