I hate 'change'
I had my appraisal .. part 1 only (where Niamh 'interviewed' me. She told me that I need to:-
- speak to my bosses more 'openly'
- speak to anyone and everyone openly .. should just be as chatty as I can
- change my dressing style (I look very school girl-like), should be more professional/ formal
- try remembering important things (had forgotten about my Orientation)
Apparently I am not the receptionist kind of a girl ...
My weekends will be changed to the normal weekends (i.e. Thursdays and Fridays). I wont be able to spend decent time with Nabeel anymore.
I dont know whats happening to me ... I used to be the most chattiest person in my old job and bright and cheerful (even on days when I wasnt).
I am getting quieter which is not normal and I hate it. People here have made me feel so low that I just get too ... whats the word I'm looking for here ...... uncomfy, distant ... I dont know. I hate this change .. I wish I could go back to being who I was before I joined PWC ..
I said YES I want to stay but deep down inside I feel like I shouldnt.
I told Nabeel I wanted to end things last night .. stupid reason .. I cried and cried and he just held me. I think I am fucking things up with him. I'll talk about this in detailed later.
Nothing feels right anymore .. nothing .. I'm waiting to get called into Toby's or Steve Lubrano's office for my appraisal 'part 2'.
I feel like crying again.
- speak to my bosses more 'openly'
- speak to anyone and everyone openly .. should just be as chatty as I can
- change my dressing style (I look very school girl-like), should be more professional/ formal
- try remembering important things (had forgotten about my Orientation)
Apparently I am not the receptionist kind of a girl ...
My weekends will be changed to the normal weekends (i.e. Thursdays and Fridays). I wont be able to spend decent time with Nabeel anymore.
I dont know whats happening to me ... I used to be the most chattiest person in my old job and bright and cheerful (even on days when I wasnt).
I am getting quieter which is not normal and I hate it. People here have made me feel so low that I just get too ... whats the word I'm looking for here ...... uncomfy, distant ... I dont know. I hate this change .. I wish I could go back to being who I was before I joined PWC ..
I said YES I want to stay but deep down inside I feel like I shouldnt.
I told Nabeel I wanted to end things last night .. stupid reason .. I cried and cried and he just held me. I think I am fucking things up with him. I'll talk about this in detailed later.
Nothing feels right anymore .. nothing .. I'm waiting to get called into Toby's or Steve Lubrano's office for my appraisal 'part 2'.
I feel like crying again.