(no subject)
I'm having a really hard time at work today. Accepted Student Visit Days went very well and it feels good to have been in charge of such a huge event and to have it turn out so successfully. But now it's over. Most of my work-time for the last few weeks has been spent organising these two days, and now I'm feeling unsure of what my job is. We don't have very many applications still coming in. We don't have any huge events coming up. There are always more meetings and for-the-future plans to be made... but now that I know I'm leaving, it feels weird. Before, I knew there was a chance that I was going to leave, but I didn't know when, so it was like this non-issue - I could just keep doing my job and being a part of the future of Marlboro and it was all fine and good... but now it's different.
*sigh* I'm so frustrated and unsure right now, but I can't even really articulate it.
We had a meeting this morning, and part of it was about who will be in charge of a few things over the summer, and I felt like I didn't even need to be there, but I knew I was still expected to be a part of this meeting... but why? I'm not going to be here. I had nothing to add. I sat silently for a while, then sent a text message, then sat silently again. Why?? All it did was waste my time and make me upset. And Krista and Mark started talking like it was just the two of them again; like I wasn't around to help with anything... but I am still here for a while... but am I really?
I'm starting to be really excited about this summer. There are so many good things happening! I don't want to be hung up on work issues, and if this is what it's going to be like for the rest of the time, that makes me want to leave even sooner. But I also don't want to rush into things. Argh! So unsure.
I want one day off to do nothing but sleep and read/watch movies - just lounge all day. Then I want another day off, during which I have tons of energy and can really make plans for the summer. I think I have an apartment lined up; I'm going to see it this weekend and work out logistics, assuming it's good. (It sounds good!) But I need to work on my resume and write cover letters and send in applications and figure out whether or not I have the money to fix my car or to take classes. I need to take care of all these little details - they're exciting and stressful at the same time.
I feel like I'm lacking in coherency today.
*sigh* I'm so frustrated and unsure right now, but I can't even really articulate it.
We had a meeting this morning, and part of it was about who will be in charge of a few things over the summer, and I felt like I didn't even need to be there, but I knew I was still expected to be a part of this meeting... but why? I'm not going to be here. I had nothing to add. I sat silently for a while, then sent a text message, then sat silently again. Why?? All it did was waste my time and make me upset. And Krista and Mark started talking like it was just the two of them again; like I wasn't around to help with anything... but I am still here for a while... but am I really?
I'm starting to be really excited about this summer. There are so many good things happening! I don't want to be hung up on work issues, and if this is what it's going to be like for the rest of the time, that makes me want to leave even sooner. But I also don't want to rush into things. Argh! So unsure.
I want one day off to do nothing but sleep and read/watch movies - just lounge all day. Then I want another day off, during which I have tons of energy and can really make plans for the summer. I think I have an apartment lined up; I'm going to see it this weekend and work out logistics, assuming it's good. (It sounds good!) But I need to work on my resume and write cover letters and send in applications and figure out whether or not I have the money to fix my car or to take classes. I need to take care of all these little details - they're exciting and stressful at the same time.
I feel like I'm lacking in coherency today.