looking back, on the memories of.. the dance we shared.
wow. 15 people. at one time i'd say that wasnt a lot, now a days it is. but here goes nothing.
#1: When I decided I was going to move away from Texas, I don't think it ever really hit me how hard it would be to not have you in my everyday life. For as long as I can remember it was just the two of us, and now I am on my own. Everything in me is because of you though, and I am proud to say that you are where I come from. I love you and miss you so much everday.
#2: My favorite 'white guy' as I once said. I know most people say that people aren't really friends forever, and that people change... and I know that is true. Really, I do. But, for as long as we possibly can, let's try to prove that theory wrong, ok? I can't imagine not ever being able to pick up the phone and talk to you. You keep me sane, you remind me that no matter what's changed, there are some things that remain... and those things are what I cherish... things like you being able to make me laugh by saying something so simple, that you understand exactly how i am feeling by just a sound effect, and being able to quote FRIENDS whenever we feel the need. You are without a doubt one of the most important people in my life. I would be lost with you, so don't ever leave, ok? 'I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky, I'll be there'
#3: I guess when I moved here I always bounced back and forth between the same 2 or 3 guys it seemed. I never really jumped into anything whole-heartedly because I was always sacred of the outcome. And then I met you. You challenged me everyday, and were always able to keep me on my toes. You also let me in, in a way it was obvious that you did for no one else. You taught me what it means to be in love. I had always thought that I had experienced it before... and while those were all glimpses into what I could feel, or mistaken for love as friends, this was different. I counted on you and you counted on me. You are my first love and I know we've sturggled, but I also want you to know that I believe in us. Its me and you, love.
#4: My other half... my sister, by choice. I will never be able to fully explain the effect you have had on me. You have played, by the far, the biggest role in my life. I have the most memories with you then anyone else. Memories that I can look back on with smiles and tears. I've seen you at your best, but even more so, I've seen you at your worst and I think you are the strongest person I know. You've overcome so many thing in this life, things that some people would crumble if the same happened to them. Your mother would be so proud of you. I am so proud to call you my best friend. I hope people look back on high school and think, "hey those two were always with each other." Because that is how I remember it. You and me.. until we're little old ladies, right?
#5: I remember I was so scared to talk to you in 7th grade, because I thought you would beat me up or something. And then I remember being so excited when we became friends. We have such an interesting friendship, I think. If someone who didn't know either of us saw the two of us seperately, I doubt they would be able to imagine us being as good of friends as we are. I know that our "good friend" moments are few and far between, but I hope you know that to me, it doesn't make them any less important. I admire your courage, strength, and honesty. I am so glad you have found love, because for someone who has been up and down, it is about time you had someone sweep you off your feet... and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
#6: You're the one that will probably be upset that you are #6 and not 2, but whatever! ;) You are my most interesting friend. My friend that is the most opposite me on the outside, but look a little deeper and I think you'll see what we see--- that we've been connected since we were kids. There are certain things in this life that I think our impossible to alter and I think that our friendship is one of those. You have been there with me through everything. and I mean, everything. You are a person I can look at and say with no doubt in my mind would never hurt me or turn your back on me. And know that I will always be the same to you. You have such an amazing future ahead of you. You are the most confident, head-strong, beautiful woman I know ... and I know you won't change for anyone. I love girl, even if you lived in a trailor ;)
#7: All is fair in love and basketball, right? Whether I am allowed to remember you by this movie isn't really something you have to agree on with me... because it will forever remind me of us. I mean, hell, the necklace I got you said that much. So, distance has shown to us that we are capable of going a few months without talking, but now it has also shown us that it won't hurt our friendship either. I really don't want to give you this much credit, but you should know that you had my heart through most of high school. You also taught me a lot about love, and maybe not the love that I once thought it was.. but another kind. You taught me that it is okay to love someone and care about them, even if they don't love you as much-- because sometimes loving someone is enough, and I grew to understand that. I would have done anything for you, and I still would. I know the person you are and will soon be... and I can't wait to see how it all turns out.
#8: I have been wanting to talk to you since I was 13. Since the last time I saw you. My life changed for the best and worst because of you. I was on the top of the world and it suddenly got flipped over... and I had to crawl, on my hands and knees, alone... all the way back to the top. Do you have any idea how many thing would have been different had you never came into my life? I do. It's something I have thought about many times since the whole thing happened. But then i think about it a little longer, and think that without the bad, it's hard to appriciate the good. Because of you, I know who my true friends are, I know what believing in someone is all about, and I know that I have the strength to get through anything. So, in a weird, twisted way- thank you.
#9: And because of the person above this, it also lead me to having one of the greatest relationships this world has to offer. You are my hero. I am so grateful to you and will forever be. I only hope that one day I am able to become to others what you have become to so many. I can't even imagine how many people's lives you have changed with just your words. Your passion, honesty, and huge, huge heart amaze me each time I am around you. The best piece of advice that has ever been give to me was by you. You told me to always hold my head up high. It's simple, but it worked. You beleived in me more than anyone, and I owe so much to you. Thank you for being so much more than you bargained for... you have changed my life.
#10: It's weird not talking to you anymore. I know we played our every other year game where we'd be friends and then enemies and then friends again. We thought senior year we broke that trend... but as it turns out, it still haunts us today. We haven't really talked since I left Texas this past Christmas, and I am sad about it. But, I know that sometimes two people need to go their seperate ways. That, however, will never erase the memories we made. No matter how often we hung out, or how long we knew each other, we did have a special connection. We got each other in some weird way, and through both of our quirks, we somehow made a wonderful friendship. And to me, when I look back on what happened.. that is what I think. Not what we don't have anymore, but what we did have. And, I'll think of screaming "all my exe's live in Texas" at the top of our lungs, and I'll smile.
#11: When I moved to NC, I was so scared of knowing no one and having to start over. Scared that I would never have someone to just be myself around. Psychology class proved me wrong. You proved me wrong from the moment you called me 'Texas.' And I am glad I wore a football shirt that day, because then you never would have talked to me. Who am I kidding, of course you would have ;) I am glad I was able to catch the eye of the 'most popular guy in new bern' and I am glad that he turned out to be so awesome. I know I always tell you to have more confidence in yourself, and I will still tell you that now.. because you're so wonderful, and I promise you that someone as equally wonderful as you is going to come into your life one day. I know that we'll always be friends. Swimfan and all.
#12: "Lean on me... when you're not strong" 9th grade Biology, there you were. That sexy italian guy that everyone loved to be around. With your infectious personality and charming smile. No matter where I go, and who I meet... I will never be able to deny the fact that you were the first guy to steal a piece of my heart. You are the one guy that will always be there. And while it in part scares me, in another way.. it doesn't. Maybe we won't 'fall in love' or ever be together and maybe that's what is meant to happen, but I can say that what we have goes beyond forever and I know the memories we so often make will continue to grow.
#13: It is hard to say just how awesome it is that we are friends. I have never even met you, but I know that if we ever get a chance to meet, we'd become inseperable. You are such an amazing person, and I am so jealous of all the people who live by you and get to experience being your 'real life' friend. I know that you came into my life 'computer screen' ;) for a reason. It's been years now and we are able to be there when the other neesds, to offer support, make the other smile, or even scold when we feel the other is doing something we don't agree with. Through it all though, I want you to know that the fact that we haven't ever met doesn't make you any less of a friend. When I consider my friends, I do consider as one of them. And a wonderful one at that.
#14: My summer love. Well, two summers.. heh. Some of the greatest memories of my summer were with you. Whether us being boyfriend&girlfriend lasted 2 days or 12 days... it was still nothing short of amazing each time. Your stupid jokes, crazy obsessions, and horrible john mayer impression will be long-lasting in my mind. Even your dumb choices that proved you were indeed "just being a guy", I can't hold that against you. I remember your sincerity, and ability to keep yourself from keeping your mouth shut at the wrong times. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to go weak in the knees at a simple kiss. We definately had a story-book romance that I won't be able to forget.
#15: Maybe it's weird that I am chosing to write about you, and then again maybe it isnt. I have to say that even when I look back on things, I don't regret one of the bigger decisions I made. I want you to know that I know you had this facade of being a 'bad ass' and being mean, and trying not to let anyone see what is really inside there, but I want you to know that I saw it. You let me in, whether it was on accident or not... but you did. It's been more than a year since I've seen you, and even longer since we talked, but regardless I never got a chance to say that even if it was more bad than good, you had a big impact on the past 4 years or so. Not recently, but before that. And, I just wanted you to know. Maybe one day you will grow out of your hate for everyone and everything and be what I saw that one night in my car. Thanks for the butterflies.