late-night babble
Yes I am alive. Though, it's late and I am sick, so this post might be horrid. ;p
So anyway: more and more lately I catch myself feeling older. It is fine and good since it IS known to happen to the best of us. I can't be first person to feel it, and I HIGHLY doubt I'll be the last. Though I have to say. . .I cant decide what bothers me exactly. . . that I don't have half of what I expected to have to show for my 25 years, or that what I don't have- I either lost, or just really could have by now had I been a bit more motivated or if a few key events had unfolded differently. I'm not crying about it though, just reflecting and hoping to god I won't turn into a "woman of a certain age" in a few years. I mean, really. . . my love life revolves around a perfectly charming and rather young non local. Known 'em a few years, it's flattering as hell, and I love 'em to death and all. . but where IS the line between playful flirtyness and something more anyway? And even if we were both to think it's fine to cross it. . is it REALLY the smart move right now? I've rushed blindly before, and I didn't really get either of us too far. (No offence if ya reading this Elbie- lol) But yeah, my cute lil young'un. . . It's just a lil weird to put it mildly. I won't even go into what other options have been. I am starting to think I should just convert to Catholicism and see about becoming a Nun or some such sillyness.
Friends and relatives about my age (and younger) are starting to spawn. And last I knew my Ex, his new girlfriend and her son are a happy family. Not an envy point or anything. . but wow. Hot shit, right? We are growing up. :o A lot of my old interests. . are still THERE, just fading. I'm prolly a special kind of boring lately since it doesn't seem like I'm forming too many new ones to take their places.
Next part? I don't look at cars the same way so much anymore. Not to say I WANT a gutless wonder that can't get up and move, but it's not fist think on my car priority list. Maybe it's just the fact my last car and current are moodier than 15 year old girls, but I just want something reliable. And gas efficiant. Hell, I want a hybrid eventually. I never wanted an all out sports car or anything, but what I look for now make me feel about 5 years older than I really am. :o
Oh yeah, and I catch myself thinking I only moved to FL a few summers ago? It's been like 11 years. When the FUCK did that happen? o.O And I need a new comp when I get the chance. Yay? pppft.
Oh ya, if ya click that link, try to give it time. It really is sorta funny in a fucked up way after a lil bit. I thought so anyway.
So anyway: more and more lately I catch myself feeling older. It is fine and good since it IS known to happen to the best of us. I can't be first person to feel it, and I HIGHLY doubt I'll be the last. Though I have to say. . .I cant decide what bothers me exactly. . . that I don't have half of what I expected to have to show for my 25 years, or that what I don't have- I either lost, or just really could have by now had I been a bit more motivated or if a few key events had unfolded differently. I'm not crying about it though, just reflecting and hoping to god I won't turn into a "woman of a certain age" in a few years. I mean, really. . . my love life revolves around a perfectly charming and rather young non local. Known 'em a few years, it's flattering as hell, and I love 'em to death and all. . but where IS the line between playful flirtyness and something more anyway? And even if we were both to think it's fine to cross it. . is it REALLY the smart move right now? I've rushed blindly before, and I didn't really get either of us too far. (No offence if ya reading this Elbie- lol) But yeah, my cute lil young'un. . . It's just a lil weird to put it mildly. I won't even go into what other options have been. I am starting to think I should just convert to Catholicism and see about becoming a Nun or some such sillyness.
Friends and relatives about my age (and younger) are starting to spawn. And last I knew my Ex, his new girlfriend and her son are a happy family. Not an envy point or anything. . but wow. Hot shit, right? We are growing up. :o A lot of my old interests. . are still THERE, just fading. I'm prolly a special kind of boring lately since it doesn't seem like I'm forming too many new ones to take their places.
Next part? I don't look at cars the same way so much anymore. Not to say I WANT a gutless wonder that can't get up and move, but it's not fist think on my car priority list. Maybe it's just the fact my last car and current are moodier than 15 year old girls, but I just want something reliable. And gas efficiant. Hell, I want a hybrid eventually. I never wanted an all out sports car or anything, but what I look for now make me feel about 5 years older than I really am. :o
Oh yeah, and I catch myself thinking I only moved to FL a few summers ago? It's been like 11 years. When the FUCK did that happen? o.O And I need a new comp when I get the chance. Yay? pppft.
Oh ya, if ya click that link, try to give it time. It really is sorta funny in a fucked up way after a lil bit. I thought so anyway.