Everlastingly (One-shot Fanfiction)
Everlastingly
Jaejoong is dying.
They say he has a few months.
But Jaejoong feels it, through his whole body, the most he could have is weeks.
The weak feeling. The nausea. The struggle for every breath.
He is as good as dead.
Yunho can’t believe that Jaejoong would be able to die. The man is beautiful and pure, made of the whitest clouds and the sweetest sugar.
His love even stops on the side of streets, giving money to various homeless people.
He is also known for sheltering abandoned animals. Even when they tear up his apartment’s couch, Jaejoong only chuckles and gives them a belly rub.
He is truly made of something special.
Yunho doesn’t know what to do when he enters the hospital room. His lover seems too bright and stunning for the dull, grey-tinged room.
Jaejoong’s eyes are closed, displaying the dark bruises under his eyes clearly. His body is still; almost drained of all the wonderful energy that keeps the world vivid.
Yunho reaches out, touches Jaejoong’s cheek. It’s soft and warm. It doesn’t feel like he is dying. But even closed eyes can’t allow Yunho to forget the truth. His Jaejoong is fading.
“Jaejoong-ah?” Yunho whispers tentatively, as if a harsh sound would cut the reigns of life.
For a moment, Yunho is worried. His lover does not answer.
But soon he feels the boy’s pink, pink lips move.
“Yun-ah?”
“Jaejoong-ah, how are you feeling today?”
The man chuckles a weak chuckle, “Do you need to ask that Yunnie?”
Yunho blushes. He leans over and presses a shy kiss to Jaejoong’s lips.
“What do you want to do today?”
“Everything.”
“Jae, that’s not possible.”
A tear drips from the pale man’s eye.
“I know.”
“Jae---”
Jaejoong grips Yunho before he can speak. It’s almost ridiculous how skinny his hand is. He’s lost so much weight.
“Yunho, I-I-I’m scared. There’s so much I haven’t seen yet. I don’t wanna leave you and my family.”
“Jae, you still have months! A miracle can happen!” Yunho says almost desperately.
Jaejoong’s large brown eyes burn him with their lack of hope, “You really still believe that Yunho? I can’t even stand up without blacking out.”
Yunho just can’t look at Jaejoong anymore.
It hurts to see the man that he loves so desperate and scared.
“I’ll…I’ll be back later, Jae. I need to go for a walk.”
Yunho walks away, tears brimming, ignoring Jaejoong’s outstretched hand.
His heart is breaking.
~~~~~~~
Yunho returns, only a few hours later, but the air in the hospital has suddenly changed.
It doesn’t feel okay anymore.
He runs like a mad man to Jaejoong’s room, fumbling with the handle in his desperation.
Jaejoong is not there.
He looks around wildly. Jaejoong cannot be gone already. He just can’t.
Yunho flags down a passing nurse, “Excuse me, what happened to Kim Jaejoong?”
She looks at him confused, “What do you mean? He should be in his room. Is he not there?”
And Yunho suddenly has hope. His Jaejoong is just missing, not dead.
And it’s a stupid thing to be relieved about, because his Jaejoong is still not near him.
Yunho runs out of the hospital, knowing that Jaejoong would want to be outside more than anything.
And he finds him.
Jaejoong is sprawled on the grass of the courtyard of the hospital, close to a wall where no one can see him. Tears are streaking his face. His position is so helpless and defeated.
He has no more control.
Yunho sprints over and in a second he is by Jaejoong’s side, trying to help his lover up.
He settles for putting Jaejoong’s head in his lap and strokes his cheek repeating “why” over and over and over.
“I wanted to be outside when I died. I just can’t stay in there. My life won’t float up to the sky then.”
Jaejoong’s voice is barely a whisper, just throaty sounds that only Yunho seems to understand.
“Jaejoong, why today? You’re not dying.”
“Yun, I am. I always am. But today it’s gonna end.”
Yunho shakes his head furiously, “Why the hell would you think that?”
“I can’t see anymore Yun-ah. I can’t move either. It’s getting…it’s getting harder to breathe. It’s…I can’t…remembering is hard.”
All of his words are slurred and they stab Yunho’s heart each time.
There is a long silence.
“Jae?”
Jaejoong shakes his head, “Oh-no.”
“Jae?” Yunho asks again urgently.
Jaejoong opens his eyes and smiles, “Bye bye, Yunnie,” he pauses for a deep, ragged breath, “I love you so so much.”
And Yunho feels it, the life leaving Jaejoong’s body. He stops protesting.
He barely chokes out before the tears come, “I love you too.”
Then Jaejoong is gone.
~~~~~~~~~
Yunho wonders if he will see his Jaejoong if he does it.
Suicide is a sin. He might go to Hell because of it.
But does life matter if Jaejoong is not with him?
Yunho takes the bottle in his hands and pours it down his throat. It’s bitter and it burns like crazy.
But the sting feels good; it’s the kind of feeling after scratching an itch. It takes away the stale, saltiness of being neutral and not doing anything.
And soon he’s in the light. Warm, familiar hands grip his.
Without even opening his eyes, he knows it’s Jaejoong.
But when he does look at the sight before him, he understands why Jaejoong had to die.
The boy…the man…the angel is too bright, pure, and vivid, for the corrupted earth.
He belongs here where everything is just as beautiful as he is.
His smile is made of the same light as the sun.
And now that Yunho is here with him, he has a chance to shine just as bright as his love.
And they can be together.
Everlastingly.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
A/N: :( not as proud of this after re-reading it, as I was before. please still leave comments though, they're lovely :)
Jaejoong is dying.
They say he has a few months.
But Jaejoong feels it, through his whole body, the most he could have is weeks.
The weak feeling. The nausea. The struggle for every breath.
He is as good as dead.
Yunho can’t believe that Jaejoong would be able to die. The man is beautiful and pure, made of the whitest clouds and the sweetest sugar.
His love even stops on the side of streets, giving money to various homeless people.
He is also known for sheltering abandoned animals. Even when they tear up his apartment’s couch, Jaejoong only chuckles and gives them a belly rub.
He is truly made of something special.
Yunho doesn’t know what to do when he enters the hospital room. His lover seems too bright and stunning for the dull, grey-tinged room.
Jaejoong’s eyes are closed, displaying the dark bruises under his eyes clearly. His body is still; almost drained of all the wonderful energy that keeps the world vivid.
Yunho reaches out, touches Jaejoong’s cheek. It’s soft and warm. It doesn’t feel like he is dying. But even closed eyes can’t allow Yunho to forget the truth. His Jaejoong is fading.
“Jaejoong-ah?” Yunho whispers tentatively, as if a harsh sound would cut the reigns of life.
For a moment, Yunho is worried. His lover does not answer.
But soon he feels the boy’s pink, pink lips move.
“Yun-ah?”
“Jaejoong-ah, how are you feeling today?”
The man chuckles a weak chuckle, “Do you need to ask that Yunnie?”
Yunho blushes. He leans over and presses a shy kiss to Jaejoong’s lips.
“What do you want to do today?”
“Everything.”
“Jae, that’s not possible.”
A tear drips from the pale man’s eye.
“I know.”
“Jae---”
Jaejoong grips Yunho before he can speak. It’s almost ridiculous how skinny his hand is. He’s lost so much weight.
“Yunho, I-I-I’m scared. There’s so much I haven’t seen yet. I don’t wanna leave you and my family.”
“Jae, you still have months! A miracle can happen!” Yunho says almost desperately.
Jaejoong’s large brown eyes burn him with their lack of hope, “You really still believe that Yunho? I can’t even stand up without blacking out.”
Yunho just can’t look at Jaejoong anymore.
It hurts to see the man that he loves so desperate and scared.
“I’ll…I’ll be back later, Jae. I need to go for a walk.”
Yunho walks away, tears brimming, ignoring Jaejoong’s outstretched hand.
His heart is breaking.
~~~~~~~
Yunho returns, only a few hours later, but the air in the hospital has suddenly changed.
It doesn’t feel okay anymore.
He runs like a mad man to Jaejoong’s room, fumbling with the handle in his desperation.
Jaejoong is not there.
He looks around wildly. Jaejoong cannot be gone already. He just can’t.
Yunho flags down a passing nurse, “Excuse me, what happened to Kim Jaejoong?”
She looks at him confused, “What do you mean? He should be in his room. Is he not there?”
And Yunho suddenly has hope. His Jaejoong is just missing, not dead.
And it’s a stupid thing to be relieved about, because his Jaejoong is still not near him.
Yunho runs out of the hospital, knowing that Jaejoong would want to be outside more than anything.
And he finds him.
Jaejoong is sprawled on the grass of the courtyard of the hospital, close to a wall where no one can see him. Tears are streaking his face. His position is so helpless and defeated.
He has no more control.
Yunho sprints over and in a second he is by Jaejoong’s side, trying to help his lover up.
He settles for putting Jaejoong’s head in his lap and strokes his cheek repeating “why” over and over and over.
“I wanted to be outside when I died. I just can’t stay in there. My life won’t float up to the sky then.”
Jaejoong’s voice is barely a whisper, just throaty sounds that only Yunho seems to understand.
“Jaejoong, why today? You’re not dying.”
“Yun, I am. I always am. But today it’s gonna end.”
Yunho shakes his head furiously, “Why the hell would you think that?”
“I can’t see anymore Yun-ah. I can’t move either. It’s getting…it’s getting harder to breathe. It’s…I can’t…remembering is hard.”
All of his words are slurred and they stab Yunho’s heart each time.
There is a long silence.
“Jae?”
Jaejoong shakes his head, “Oh-no.”
“Jae?” Yunho asks again urgently.
Jaejoong opens his eyes and smiles, “Bye bye, Yunnie,” he pauses for a deep, ragged breath, “I love you so so much.”
And Yunho feels it, the life leaving Jaejoong’s body. He stops protesting.
He barely chokes out before the tears come, “I love you too.”
Then Jaejoong is gone.
~~~~~~~~~
Yunho wonders if he will see his Jaejoong if he does it.
Suicide is a sin. He might go to Hell because of it.
But does life matter if Jaejoong is not with him?
Yunho takes the bottle in his hands and pours it down his throat. It’s bitter and it burns like crazy.
But the sting feels good; it’s the kind of feeling after scratching an itch. It takes away the stale, saltiness of being neutral and not doing anything.
And soon he’s in the light. Warm, familiar hands grip his.
Without even opening his eyes, he knows it’s Jaejoong.
But when he does look at the sight before him, he understands why Jaejoong had to die.
The boy…the man…the angel is too bright, pure, and vivid, for the corrupted earth.
He belongs here where everything is just as beautiful as he is.
His smile is made of the same light as the sun.
And now that Yunho is here with him, he has a chance to shine just as bright as his love.
And they can be together.
Everlastingly.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
A/N: :( not as proud of this after re-reading it, as I was before. please still leave comments though, they're lovely :)