(no subject)
I am probably going up to Holly Springs tomorrow.
Hopefully I can make it a visit to see EVERYONE because I miss everyone so much.
and when I get back I won't be grounded anymore!
and I can finally see Travis.
I haven't seen him since Tuesday.
yeah yeah big deal. but really it is.
So I took matters into my own hands yesterday and got myself a gas cap since I drove away from the gas pump, forgetting to put it back on.
So now my car doesnt smell like gasoline and I'm not wasting so much money on gas!
and I also went by myself to the phone company and got an old phone reactivated because I dropped my razor in salt water at the beach.
so now....i have to get my air fixed because its not as cool as it should be and fix my passenger's side window because it fell out of the track and wont roll back up.
[in case you didnt know, my car is a piece]
and i guess im going to have to go get it done myself and pay for it myself because my dad doesnt seem to be too concerned about my affairs.
and to make it harder, he took my birthday money BACK from me yesterday and used it to buy wood to build a deck in our backyard.
so basically my parents didnt get me anything for my birthday. but i dont blame my mom.
my birthday was so unplanned its not even funny. but part of it was good; travis came over for the day and we painted. then we had dinner at my grandparents house. my cousins left just as soon as they came, with some friends, and didnt even say bye. and i had to call my own grandmother and invite her. which i forgot because since when was i supposed to plan my own birthday? so 30 minutes before dinner she called me to see if i was doing anything and i had to tell her i forgot to call her. but she still came over for dinner, but was late because it was such short notice.
and it was just sad without my other grandmother there.
people say that it gets easier every year to deal with deaths on holidays and such, but i think it gets harder. because when i think about it, its just more time that we have gone without her and i dont want to think about it. its just another christmas or birthday that we have to go through without her being there and with that more sadness. it just adds up.
it doesnt get easier.
and speaking of, im still having bad dreams. really horrible, gruesome dreams. about her and all other kinds of things. i dont know whether or not i should embrace it as a wild and vivid imagination or get help but it really bothers me.
Hopefully I can make it a visit to see EVERYONE because I miss everyone so much.
and when I get back I won't be grounded anymore!
and I can finally see Travis.
I haven't seen him since Tuesday.
yeah yeah big deal. but really it is.
So I took matters into my own hands yesterday and got myself a gas cap since I drove away from the gas pump, forgetting to put it back on.
So now my car doesnt smell like gasoline and I'm not wasting so much money on gas!
and I also went by myself to the phone company and got an old phone reactivated because I dropped my razor in salt water at the beach.
so now....i have to get my air fixed because its not as cool as it should be and fix my passenger's side window because it fell out of the track and wont roll back up.
[in case you didnt know, my car is a piece]
and i guess im going to have to go get it done myself and pay for it myself because my dad doesnt seem to be too concerned about my affairs.
and to make it harder, he took my birthday money BACK from me yesterday and used it to buy wood to build a deck in our backyard.
so basically my parents didnt get me anything for my birthday. but i dont blame my mom.
my birthday was so unplanned its not even funny. but part of it was good; travis came over for the day and we painted. then we had dinner at my grandparents house. my cousins left just as soon as they came, with some friends, and didnt even say bye. and i had to call my own grandmother and invite her. which i forgot because since when was i supposed to plan my own birthday? so 30 minutes before dinner she called me to see if i was doing anything and i had to tell her i forgot to call her. but she still came over for dinner, but was late because it was such short notice.
and it was just sad without my other grandmother there.
people say that it gets easier every year to deal with deaths on holidays and such, but i think it gets harder. because when i think about it, its just more time that we have gone without her and i dont want to think about it. its just another christmas or birthday that we have to go through without her being there and with that more sadness. it just adds up.
it doesnt get easier.
and speaking of, im still having bad dreams. really horrible, gruesome dreams. about her and all other kinds of things. i dont know whether or not i should embrace it as a wild and vivid imagination or get help but it really bothers me.