(no subject)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE!!!
She liked her presents and it made me feel happy inside.
I have glasses now! =0D
I feel so smart sitting here typing with glasses. I'm a loser I know.
Ashley and I went to Zoom to see some local bands.
We missed AOM but we still got to hear Zack sing because he sung with another band later on.
As I was standing there watching all the people dance and listening to the music I felt so happy that I was who I am. If I didn't hang out with the people I hang out with and I acted stuck-up, I wouldn't be having this much fun. When I was trying to fit in with the "preps" I didn't go anywhere and I didn't have any fun. Now I'm going to a shit load of places and watching amazing bands play their asses off.
I was sitting there thinking "Jon doesn't like who I am because?" I'm so nice to people now and I think about other people's feelings instead of looking at them and laughing because they can't afford designer jeans and skimpy tank tops. I've realized that I'm better than that.
What really makes me upset though is that when I was in North Carolina, I did drugs, smoked and drank. Jon liked me then but now that I'm clean and not doing that shit he doesn't. And the one person who did stay by me when I was doing that shit, I took advantage of. I was still in "love" with Jon because he made me happy like 2 years ago. But when I needed him the most, he wasn't there and Bryan was. But for some stupid reason I didn't see that and now I've hurt him and myself.
Why like someone who doesn't like your personality but what you wear? It's dumb bullshit. And why do I try to look my best for him when he's in NJ and liking all these girls and telling me that I'm not good enough for him. He didn't flat out say it but what else did he mean when he told me that he didn't get along with "goths"? It's because we don't spend a shit load of money on clothes because we don't worry about how we look. We wear what we fucking want to.
I feel better now. I've had this on my shoulders for a while. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this.
xoxo
She liked her presents and it made me feel happy inside.
I have glasses now! =0D
I feel so smart sitting here typing with glasses. I'm a loser I know.
Ashley and I went to Zoom to see some local bands.
We missed AOM but we still got to hear Zack sing because he sung with another band later on.
As I was standing there watching all the people dance and listening to the music I felt so happy that I was who I am. If I didn't hang out with the people I hang out with and I acted stuck-up, I wouldn't be having this much fun. When I was trying to fit in with the "preps" I didn't go anywhere and I didn't have any fun. Now I'm going to a shit load of places and watching amazing bands play their asses off.
I was sitting there thinking "Jon doesn't like who I am because?" I'm so nice to people now and I think about other people's feelings instead of looking at them and laughing because they can't afford designer jeans and skimpy tank tops. I've realized that I'm better than that.
What really makes me upset though is that when I was in North Carolina, I did drugs, smoked and drank. Jon liked me then but now that I'm clean and not doing that shit he doesn't. And the one person who did stay by me when I was doing that shit, I took advantage of. I was still in "love" with Jon because he made me happy like 2 years ago. But when I needed him the most, he wasn't there and Bryan was. But for some stupid reason I didn't see that and now I've hurt him and myself.
Why like someone who doesn't like your personality but what you wear? It's dumb bullshit. And why do I try to look my best for him when he's in NJ and liking all these girls and telling me that I'm not good enough for him. He didn't flat out say it but what else did he mean when he told me that he didn't get along with "goths"? It's because we don't spend a shit load of money on clothes because we don't worry about how we look. We wear what we fucking want to.
I feel better now. I've had this on my shoulders for a while. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this.
xoxo