life is the weirdest thing....
i had a great weekend. i spent some time with my family. saturday i got to see my entire family for easter and most of them seemed to like kyle and brandon. and then brandon took me to the drive in for the first time in my life, where we got back together =) sunday i had a lazy day with my mom. monday i saw sadie and caught up and then got to spend some time with brandon. and tuesday i was just in a cheery mood. i was going out with the guys we were gonna have fun and just relax...and then it felt like my entire world was just kind of falling down around me.
last night i found out that my grandma has cancer...which is scary in itself. but then to add to it apparently its a weird form of skin cancer. she has whats called merkle cell carcinoma. she had a spot come up in her nose. so now we have to go visit Kansas City and hope for the best....i guess we'll see. it just kind of scared the shit out of me. dad had tears in his eyes and i dont think ive ever seen him cry so that just freaked me out even more. i let it sit in for awhile and then went ahead and went out with the boys. it was just one of those nights where i couldnt be at home. i didnt want to think about it. leaving didnt really help me stop thinking about it but when i got to gregs i pretty much just held onto brandon and spaced and cried. idk..it just helped being with him last night...when shit goes wrong i just want him to hold me in his arms...im scared and i dont like it. i dont want to lose my grandma or even have to think about the possibility of it... i guess well see
k well i gotta go...
lunch time
nic
last night i found out that my grandma has cancer...which is scary in itself. but then to add to it apparently its a weird form of skin cancer. she has whats called merkle cell carcinoma. she had a spot come up in her nose. so now we have to go visit Kansas City and hope for the best....i guess we'll see. it just kind of scared the shit out of me. dad had tears in his eyes and i dont think ive ever seen him cry so that just freaked me out even more. i let it sit in for awhile and then went ahead and went out with the boys. it was just one of those nights where i couldnt be at home. i didnt want to think about it. leaving didnt really help me stop thinking about it but when i got to gregs i pretty much just held onto brandon and spaced and cried. idk..it just helped being with him last night...when shit goes wrong i just want him to hold me in his arms...im scared and i dont like it. i dont want to lose my grandma or even have to think about the possibility of it... i guess well see
k well i gotta go...
lunch time
nic