(no subject)
So congratulations me! I have successfully pushed out everyone in my life who was remotely close to me, woot woot. No aishling, no heather, no briana, and from the way it's going no gretchen.
And my acting job, which is really just high school, will basically allow me to make a bunch of fake friends. So I will get to know all the extras and make a network of friends that I will help out only to get forgotten about in the end. Sweet!
My gym. Dear god it's insane I'm so close to achieving it, but I can't keep my emotions in check and stay happy enough to move forward. I don't want to be the leader who has break downs or just to caught up with his own problems that can't focus on what important.
I'm really trying to pick myself up, I just am not to sure how. or at least I really want to do it one way because I enjoy it more, but hard coming back to nothing. To empty rooms and an empty bed. I know I have to be happy first, but I really needed this you know... Just something to go right so I could have something to hold onto.
But the universe works in strange ways.. and I can only accept what it throws my way and just believe it was for the best. but man does it hurt from time to time.
I just don't want to struggle through this alone anymore.. a warm smile, a loving face, and a caring embrace, that's all. Well a kiss here and there wouldn't hurt either..
That's all for tonight.
Goodbye lj.
I promise to have good news on my return!
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