[Fic] Altruistic Hedonism (R, Hei/Ed)
Title: Altruistic Hedonism
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: Hei/Ed
Rating: hard R
Word Count: 784
Notes: This is an AU piratefic drabble, in which Hei is a priest and Ed is a pirate. It will probably make no sense to anyone but cryogenia, but that's okay, because IT IS HER BIRTHDAY FIC. Happy birthday, Cryo; you're one of the sweetest people I know. And, um. I sat down intending to write swashbuckling? But... this came out instead.
He was a terrible priest. He knows this. He's always been a terrible priest, and this just emphasizes it.
This. This thing. Whatever it is; he's really not quite sure yet. What this is right now is Ed, the captain of the Mary Patricia, curled up in a ball of blissful sleep; each breath a little slower and a little deeper. Alfons's arm is falling asleep under Edward's neck and part of his shoulder.
The rest of Alfons is not asleep; the rest of him is wide awake, singing with the strange surges of nerves and muscles that follow sex. The joy of it, the sheer elation. This is why people don't become priests, he thinks.
Touching himself alone was a sin. Fornication? Even worse, although he was never much for that. Well, not before.
He thinks about the way the curve of Ed's back feels under his hands. Thinks about breathless sounds. The slow, hot clench of flesh around him and the helpless way his thighs settle against the back of Ed's legs. The weight of Ed's cock in his hand; how Ed nearly jumps out of his skin sometimes when Alfons touches him. Oh yes, Alfons can see why God's servants should not be involved in any of this, because it is mind-consuming, earthly pleasure that's even now pulling at a still-unfamiliar place in the pit of his stomach.
He has a new understanding for the plight of an unwed mother, though. The pleasures of the flesh have consequences for a woman especially. He can't pretend to know if this sort of thing feels the same for a woman, but if it is anywhere near this compelling he comprehends how it can happen so often.
Maybe that's why it's such a sin for two men, he considers. There's no earthly consequence for it. Just. This. Ed mumbling something in his sleep and pillowing his shoulder more firmly against Alfons's arm.
I have never been very good at this, Alfons confesses to himself, sending the thought upward, hoping that someone up there will understand.
But how this is supposed to be a sin, he doesn't know, because what he feels is akin to the joy he used to feel when he could make a child or an old woman smile with kind words and a simple touch. But it is so much more than that. It winds almost painfully through his chest and his arms and legs. So much, and how can it be a sin to feel like this?
Ed's hair tangles together at the ends, dry from salt air, and Alfons finds himself idly unsnagging it with the fingers of his free hand, his mind wandering now away from Ed and to the orphanage, as it often does. Guilt still plagues him from time to time about that, even though it wasn't his fault. He could have done more, perhaps.
I wonder, he thinks. Perhaps Al. Al has a soft side for the weak and helpless, even though he keeps it well-hidden in front of most of their men. They have enough gold stashed away that really they could both give this up. If it weren't for their sense of adventure, of course. They're looking for something, and they probably always will be. Alfons isn't going to try to change that, but...
Alfons sighs. What would he do for them in return? They won't be eager to part with gold when they get nothing in exchange. But if he has Al's conscience to appeal to, and - well, it seems he has ways of persuading Ed now as well. And maybe there is something he can do; he's handy with a gun and he's not afraid of anything.
Especially not with Ed around.
No, he decides firmly, I don't need to wheedle them into it. The thought of working side by side with Ed gives Alfons a thrill. Ed and Al are virtually unstoppable together, but maybe Alfons can even add to that. In fact, he knows he can. Alfons smirks a little. There's still a lot Ed doesn't know about Alfons. I can prove myself to them, and then I'll get a cut in on the spoils, and then I can set up a place to redeem the victims of the weaknesses of the flesh. Another orphanage, perhaps; or a place for those unfortunate women.
Using pillaged gold from towns and ships to fund an orphanage and home for unwed mothers. Alfons laughs a little bit to himself and lets his fingers rest in between Ed's shoulder blades, a tingle of desire snaking up through them and into the small of his own back.
A terrible priest, he was. Always.
Fandom: FMA
Pairing: Hei/Ed
Rating: hard R
Word Count: 784
Notes: This is an AU piratefic drabble, in which Hei is a priest and Ed is a pirate. It will probably make no sense to anyone but cryogenia, but that's okay, because IT IS HER BIRTHDAY FIC. Happy birthday, Cryo; you're one of the sweetest people I know. And, um. I sat down intending to write swashbuckling? But... this came out instead.
He was a terrible priest. He knows this. He's always been a terrible priest, and this just emphasizes it.
This. This thing. Whatever it is; he's really not quite sure yet. What this is right now is Ed, the captain of the Mary Patricia, curled up in a ball of blissful sleep; each breath a little slower and a little deeper. Alfons's arm is falling asleep under Edward's neck and part of his shoulder.
The rest of Alfons is not asleep; the rest of him is wide awake, singing with the strange surges of nerves and muscles that follow sex. The joy of it, the sheer elation. This is why people don't become priests, he thinks.
Touching himself alone was a sin. Fornication? Even worse, although he was never much for that. Well, not before.
He thinks about the way the curve of Ed's back feels under his hands. Thinks about breathless sounds. The slow, hot clench of flesh around him and the helpless way his thighs settle against the back of Ed's legs. The weight of Ed's cock in his hand; how Ed nearly jumps out of his skin sometimes when Alfons touches him. Oh yes, Alfons can see why God's servants should not be involved in any of this, because it is mind-consuming, earthly pleasure that's even now pulling at a still-unfamiliar place in the pit of his stomach.
He has a new understanding for the plight of an unwed mother, though. The pleasures of the flesh have consequences for a woman especially. He can't pretend to know if this sort of thing feels the same for a woman, but if it is anywhere near this compelling he comprehends how it can happen so often.
Maybe that's why it's such a sin for two men, he considers. There's no earthly consequence for it. Just. This. Ed mumbling something in his sleep and pillowing his shoulder more firmly against Alfons's arm.
I have never been very good at this, Alfons confesses to himself, sending the thought upward, hoping that someone up there will understand.
But how this is supposed to be a sin, he doesn't know, because what he feels is akin to the joy he used to feel when he could make a child or an old woman smile with kind words and a simple touch. But it is so much more than that. It winds almost painfully through his chest and his arms and legs. So much, and how can it be a sin to feel like this?
Ed's hair tangles together at the ends, dry from salt air, and Alfons finds himself idly unsnagging it with the fingers of his free hand, his mind wandering now away from Ed and to the orphanage, as it often does. Guilt still plagues him from time to time about that, even though it wasn't his fault. He could have done more, perhaps.
I wonder, he thinks. Perhaps Al. Al has a soft side for the weak and helpless, even though he keeps it well-hidden in front of most of their men. They have enough gold stashed away that really they could both give this up. If it weren't for their sense of adventure, of course. They're looking for something, and they probably always will be. Alfons isn't going to try to change that, but...
Alfons sighs. What would he do for them in return? They won't be eager to part with gold when they get nothing in exchange. But if he has Al's conscience to appeal to, and - well, it seems he has ways of persuading Ed now as well. And maybe there is something he can do; he's handy with a gun and he's not afraid of anything.
Especially not with Ed around.
No, he decides firmly, I don't need to wheedle them into it. The thought of working side by side with Ed gives Alfons a thrill. Ed and Al are virtually unstoppable together, but maybe Alfons can even add to that. In fact, he knows he can. Alfons smirks a little. There's still a lot Ed doesn't know about Alfons. I can prove myself to them, and then I'll get a cut in on the spoils, and then I can set up a place to redeem the victims of the weaknesses of the flesh. Another orphanage, perhaps; or a place for those unfortunate women.
Using pillaged gold from towns and ships to fund an orphanage and home for unwed mothers. Alfons laughs a little bit to himself and lets his fingers rest in between Ed's shoulder blades, a tingle of desire snaking up through them and into the small of his own back.
A terrible priest, he was. Always.