(no subject)
"I gave up my soap opera that I have watched since it started back in 1956. I figured my life was a soap opera enough."
I think this is the first time that I've ever actually missed my Grandma Bonnie. How sad is that, my pity for how her life is unraveling this late in life is my only motivation for wanting to spend time with her. Her life is my worst fear; I will do anything to avoid what her and my grandfather have become. I can't imagine getting divorced in my 60s. You are supposed to have everything figured out by that point, right? I don't think I could just jump back up and go back to living like I am 18 again, searching. I mean, what is a stay-at-home woman's purpose but for her husband? What did she live for, except for him? For Regis and Kelly? For the 1/2 Off Sales at Dillards? For her snickerdoodles and gingerbread cookies? But then again, maybe this will be a good thing for her.
"I would like to find a job but at my age it will not be easy. I think I would like to be a WalMart greeter (do not laugh) You know I can talk a lot. Or maybe work in a store and get a discount on the clothes. Just a thought for next winter."
Oh, that is the reason why I love the Barr Family. Despite the fact that they are all certified insane. Though I am surprised she doesn't find the life of a Walmart greeter beneath her.
On a side note, I've realized that every adult I look up to in my life I've made into an anti-role model. Someone to avoid turning out like, a model of how not to act. My Mother, Father and Grandparents. Maybe I am just too critical. Even I would make a pretty good anti-role model and I'm only 18. But hey, at least I'm conscious of it right.
Anyways, on a more positive note, I am very curious as to how this summer will turn out. I feel good right now. I feel like this will be...a summer to get things in order. Get in shape. Go back to church. Maintain good relationships with people I care about. Immerse myself in large amounts of fine literature. Finally learn how to be coordinated and play sports without embarrassing myself in front of others. Get to see my Dad and perhaps even go to Italy (!). I hope. I really hope. It is my dream. I would also like to save money. Though that will be difficult for me. I honestly just don't know how. I have a money-spending disease I swear.
I think this is the first time that I've ever actually missed my Grandma Bonnie. How sad is that, my pity for how her life is unraveling this late in life is my only motivation for wanting to spend time with her. Her life is my worst fear; I will do anything to avoid what her and my grandfather have become. I can't imagine getting divorced in my 60s. You are supposed to have everything figured out by that point, right? I don't think I could just jump back up and go back to living like I am 18 again, searching. I mean, what is a stay-at-home woman's purpose but for her husband? What did she live for, except for him? For Regis and Kelly? For the 1/2 Off Sales at Dillards? For her snickerdoodles and gingerbread cookies? But then again, maybe this will be a good thing for her.
"I would like to find a job but at my age it will not be easy. I think I would like to be a WalMart greeter (do not laugh) You know I can talk a lot. Or maybe work in a store and get a discount on the clothes. Just a thought for next winter."
Oh, that is the reason why I love the Barr Family. Despite the fact that they are all certified insane. Though I am surprised she doesn't find the life of a Walmart greeter beneath her.
On a side note, I've realized that every adult I look up to in my life I've made into an anti-role model. Someone to avoid turning out like, a model of how not to act. My Mother, Father and Grandparents. Maybe I am just too critical. Even I would make a pretty good anti-role model and I'm only 18. But hey, at least I'm conscious of it right.
Anyways, on a more positive note, I am very curious as to how this summer will turn out. I feel good right now. I feel like this will be...a summer to get things in order. Get in shape. Go back to church. Maintain good relationships with people I care about. Immerse myself in large amounts of fine literature. Finally learn how to be coordinated and play sports without embarrassing myself in front of others. Get to see my Dad and perhaps even go to Italy (!). I hope. I really hope. It is my dream. I would also like to save money. Though that will be difficult for me. I honestly just don't know how. I have a money-spending disease I swear.