(no subject)
I don't even know what to say anymore. This weekend was too many things.
Friday was surprisingly good? It just felt so weird. Too weird. We talked like we always did and it was perfect but without that "extra" couply stuff. It was incredibly awkward when he dropped me off at home. We just kind of looked at each other. He shrugged and I asked jokingly if he wanted a hug. He gave me this weird look and said no, that even though this awkward, if this is what I really want, then ok. Neither of us could think of what to say or do so I rolled my eyes, thanked him for the ride and got out of the car.
I'm happy with where we are right now, and I don't know if things will ever change concerning that. I guess I am just tired of talking about it. I'm tired of people raising their eyebrows at me when they hear I'm hanging out with him. And I'm tired of getting texts from people (aka Stephen) asking me sarcastically how my "date" was or accusing me of certain other things. Accusations and sarcastic comments concerning who I chose to spend my time with will only cause me to push myself away from you.
I don't get people sometimes. No. I don't get them ever. I don't get how some people can make fun of a certain aspect of someone I care about when they too hold their own flaws. I have just never been that kind of person who could do that. I thought Matt Rose was the most ridiculous person I'd ever seen and wondered what the hell he could have done to himself to get his hair like that, yet not once did I ever criticize Megan for dating him or make fun of him to her. Why don't certain people recognize those boundaries? Or are they not there and I'm just overly sensitive?
Anyways, the next day I went to his lacrosse fundraiser at Carabba's and it was, once again, nice. It's nice to not have to expect anything and always be let down. I guess I just don't know anymore.
Saturday night was a horror. Angela and I got into this giant fight with Jen while attempting to leave Fiji. Jen is always so wrapped up in some random douchebag guy that she completely forgets that we are even there. We promised to leave together and she, like always, refused to go. So we left and now I guess she is paying the consequences. I had never imagined them being what they are but I guess that is what you get.
Other than that, my Mom is in Seattle right now. Most likely spending all of her money on useless junk. She's already bought me something from the mall, and she's only been there 24 hours. Tonight she is supposed to be meeting my uncle for dinner though, so hopefully some good can come of this. I'm not really too optimistic about the situation to be quite honest though. I just hope he can come to his senses, to try. I can be mad, but I have to be there too. I can't imagine ever pushing someone I love away because they messed up.
We all mess up, some more so than others, but I'm really trying to learn how to forgive.
I've always had some trouble with that.
Friday was surprisingly good? It just felt so weird. Too weird. We talked like we always did and it was perfect but without that "extra" couply stuff. It was incredibly awkward when he dropped me off at home. We just kind of looked at each other. He shrugged and I asked jokingly if he wanted a hug. He gave me this weird look and said no, that even though this awkward, if this is what I really want, then ok. Neither of us could think of what to say or do so I rolled my eyes, thanked him for the ride and got out of the car.
I'm happy with where we are right now, and I don't know if things will ever change concerning that. I guess I am just tired of talking about it. I'm tired of people raising their eyebrows at me when they hear I'm hanging out with him. And I'm tired of getting texts from people (aka Stephen) asking me sarcastically how my "date" was or accusing me of certain other things. Accusations and sarcastic comments concerning who I chose to spend my time with will only cause me to push myself away from you.
I don't get people sometimes. No. I don't get them ever. I don't get how some people can make fun of a certain aspect of someone I care about when they too hold their own flaws. I have just never been that kind of person who could do that. I thought Matt Rose was the most ridiculous person I'd ever seen and wondered what the hell he could have done to himself to get his hair like that, yet not once did I ever criticize Megan for dating him or make fun of him to her. Why don't certain people recognize those boundaries? Or are they not there and I'm just overly sensitive?
Anyways, the next day I went to his lacrosse fundraiser at Carabba's and it was, once again, nice. It's nice to not have to expect anything and always be let down. I guess I just don't know anymore.
Saturday night was a horror. Angela and I got into this giant fight with Jen while attempting to leave Fiji. Jen is always so wrapped up in some random douchebag guy that she completely forgets that we are even there. We promised to leave together and she, like always, refused to go. So we left and now I guess she is paying the consequences. I had never imagined them being what they are but I guess that is what you get.
Other than that, my Mom is in Seattle right now. Most likely spending all of her money on useless junk. She's already bought me something from the mall, and she's only been there 24 hours. Tonight she is supposed to be meeting my uncle for dinner though, so hopefully some good can come of this. I'm not really too optimistic about the situation to be quite honest though. I just hope he can come to his senses, to try. I can be mad, but I have to be there too. I can't imagine ever pushing someone I love away because they messed up.
We all mess up, some more so than others, but I'm really trying to learn how to forgive.
I've always had some trouble with that.