(no subject)
the last few days i've waken up feeling like...the only way i know to describe it is the feeling of a monday morning after having spent an entire weekend drinking and drugging as hard as i can. and today it's even gotten to the point where i actually feel fucked up right now. it's almost opiate-like...perhaps more interesting is this like...faux feeling of withdrawl. i have this bottomless pit in my torso. some aching need, a hunger that i do not really understand. something inside of my head is begging for chemicals. i can feel it in there...like an infestation. an infection. pressure. it's very annoying.
this wouldn't be so weird if i'd actually done a lot of drugs over the past few days but it's been so fucking long since i really took anything. i can't remember the last time, actually. it couldn't have been any more recent than early summer. and even that was my own perscription.
i'm so hot right now. i woke up freezing. i had to take off my sweater. which was like my shield. and i'm still sweating.
wash it down. there you go.
sitting outside the coffee shop this morning i realized...something is extremely wrong. you don't just feel like this for no reason.
there's this cloud that goes along with the whole feeling. it's dense. it has a lot of personality. it's very grey outside. it really wants to rain. but it can't push hard enough. it's...god it's so fucking familliar. and makes no sense.
i'm just going to assume that i'll feel better tomorrow. i wish our fucking phone worked. i'd like to try and go see ashleigh today but i have no way to call her.
-=-
so i went back to sleep...after sleeping so much already. it's like all i can do. i do feel a little bettter though. i think i'm going to get some vitamins or something...i dunno.
this wouldn't be so weird if i'd actually done a lot of drugs over the past few days but it's been so fucking long since i really took anything. i can't remember the last time, actually. it couldn't have been any more recent than early summer. and even that was my own perscription.
i'm so hot right now. i woke up freezing. i had to take off my sweater. which was like my shield. and i'm still sweating.
wash it down. there you go.
sitting outside the coffee shop this morning i realized...something is extremely wrong. you don't just feel like this for no reason.
there's this cloud that goes along with the whole feeling. it's dense. it has a lot of personality. it's very grey outside. it really wants to rain. but it can't push hard enough. it's...god it's so fucking familliar. and makes no sense.
i'm just going to assume that i'll feel better tomorrow. i wish our fucking phone worked. i'd like to try and go see ashleigh today but i have no way to call her.
-=-
so i went back to sleep...after sleeping so much already. it's like all i can do. i do feel a little bettter though. i think i'm going to get some vitamins or something...i dunno.