Make Me Lose My Breath
Okay, this entry is going to be super crazy long and super crazy random so be prepared to skim.
He slipped out of his seat and onto the white carpet of snow and slid over to the blue-labeled slope. The view was a Monet of bleached-top pines and little brown roofs six hundred feet below.
So what can i say but that i feel neglected...im more than lonely, im confused
Letmestainyou ::loves::
Dark, deep eyes
Swallow the world whole
And it's like everytime I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down
and where it lands is where it should.
-Nickelback "Feelin too damn good"
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
[Anything beautiful isn't simple, it's complicated...it's worth it]
ridiculous
And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
As I lay there, tossing and turning
In my mind these thoughts burning
When I rise my vision's blurring
All of this at once occurring
Shooting pain, loss of tread
Now the carpet’s turning red
For everything I’ve done or said
I apologize; for these are things I cannot mend
A broken nose, a cut or scrape
Can easily be helped or replaced
But words cannot, I see that in my own face,
Now that I’ve beat the race,
Of insults and lies,
Like meaningless flies.
Look at this girl who sits and cries,
As the world around her dies.
All the words I’ve spoken
All those nights I stayed up token’
Now my monster has awoken
All my friendships long since broken
I am sorry for this
You’ve no idea how much I miss
The joy of company, oh sweet bliss,
How long since that I’ve been kissed
For all this I apologize.
Can’t you see this in my eyes?
You're still nothing to me, and this is NOTHING to me,
And you don't know what you've done, but I'll give you a CLUE.
You could have been number one, if you only had the chance,
And you could have ruled the WHOLE world, if you had the time.
[best part of the song...] MUSE.
You don't make me sorry. Now I know
That you never listened - Listen.
I never needed anybody, it won't change now.
Am I wrong?
Don't sing along with me.
I said I was fine,
It's just the second time
We lost the war.
"That's my Billy. He's so charming - it's like he can do no wrong." -Dommeh
Dom: "Billy's a great guy."
Billz: "Dom's an idiot."
Billy: "I just lost my train of thought. Keep talking Dom."
Dom: "I like eggs in the morning and bacon at night. Is that bad?"
Billy: "No keep going, keep going."
Dom: "When I was seven I used to eat ants."
Billy: "Wait, I remembered! I just lost it again. Thats amazing isn't it?"
Billy: "Well I've known you know for about 4 or 5 years and they've been the happiest 4 or 5 years of my life."
Dom: (nods)"I bring sunshine into people's hearts just though my talking and my mind work."
Billy: "Yeah..."
Dom: [on Billy] "We spend so much time together. We enjoy each other's company. We're constantly walking up and down the red carpet with an arm around each other and chatting and all that kind of stuff. So the rumours are rife! There was a rumour about Elijah and me that Ian McKellen told us about - we were having an affair in LA! But you know I'm not going to confirm or deny [laughs]. Billy and I do fit like a jigsaw. Still now, three or four years down the line, we'll manage to make each other crack up in tears of laughter... and fascinate each other, which is the perfect relationship. Maybe we will get married in a couple of years! If he was a girl, I'd marry him today! I've been suggesting to Billy a sex change, but he really feels quite manly about things [Billy shouts, "I love women!"]. Yes, he's really passionate about women, as I am."
Dom: [on Billy]" He's got quite enchanting eyes. You know how it is with the eclipse? If you keep looking at it for a certain amount of time, you can't stop - you have to keep looking at it. That's like Billy's eyes - if you look at them for more than 20 or 30 seconds, then you're hooked."
“Would he use the word tight: nnno unless he was referring to me..."
What you just read was something I saw on EMILY ANN KNOESEL'S LIVE JOURNAL SITE. It was a questionaire thing about what you would want in a guy, which of course girls love. So, one of the questions, as you saw above, is "Would he use the word tight?" Now, when I read it, I said to myself "Hahah, that'd be so gay if someone said 'That trick was tight!'" But Emily obviously had other things in mind, and answered "No, unless he's referring to me." Let me repeat that: "UNLESS HE IS REFERRING TO ME." I'll let that sink in. Good? You got it? She wants her boyfriend to say that her vagina is tight. Like, in sex? Yes, Emily Knoesel said that, alright. Nope, I can't believe she would say that either. I know, it's unexpected, to say the least. Isn't that really weird? Tote.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!! i make one lousy vagina joke and look what happens... =)
Defense Is Paper Thin, One Touch And I'll Be In...
Oooh, what to say, what to say?? The most surreal couple of days ever, in every possible way!
It's interesting, if I feel myself inclined to slip into old habits, which I haven't really, then I remind myself of the (very little) which I have read about so many negative emotions being motivated by fear, and I instantly feel better! It helps you to understand yourself and others sooo much better, at least, it feels that way. Bizarre. But isn't it true? You're angry at someone for not doing something exactly how you imagined, often the anger means "they weren't thinking of me enough, and I am scared this indicates that they are losing interest/like someone else better/feel they should/need to put others first, and what will the consequences of that be??" Action motivated in some why by fear that I have recently noted: A glare between two people who like the same person romantically when the said person was sitting closer to one of the glarers than the other. Depression in a friend, because the males she admires don't admire her, even though she has been romantically involved with them for a long time in the past, and it hasn't worked out. This girl fears being alone more than anything. An acquaintance who feels it necessary to run-down almost everyone she doesn't know to the people who do know them, as she seems to fear that new people will mean that she will be forgotten. It goes on...
I wish the sun would come out. Perhaps it will soon. Two days ago was the most gorgeous day I have had in a long time...nowhere to be, nobody to answer to, lovely company, nice cafes, spring blossom and daffodils and sunshine, the Avon river in the sunshine, and a nice kind of uncertainty.
Currenly I am counselling a friend not to settle for less than she deserves. I am telling her that somwhere the is somebody for her that'll "sweep you off your feet, but who wants YOU and nobody else, and doesn't want to be anywhere you're not, or be with anyone else but you...?" I have been so silly and wasted so many years over people who are varying degrees of not being this person at all, and I won't again.
Off to experience the day. I trust it will be as filled with magic as the past few have been!
I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say
to make me laugh again
let the light back in
I miss my friend
I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile with those blue-green eyes
And I miss your gentle voice
in lonely times like now
sayin' it'll be alright
I miss my friend
“There's no place like home." - The Wizard of Oz
"It’s what everybody remembers about the movie, but it doesn’t resonate with the rest of the story. It’s this sappy, cloying little after thought that was probably tacked on by a studio exec. Think about it. Home is like this desolate grey dust bowl of a place where some nasty old lady is trying to kill your dog. And Oz is...technicolor.And sure it has its problems. Poppy fields, flying monkeys...talking trees.
But along the way you make friends. Good friends. With people you never knew existed when you were growing up: straw people and tin people and lions. And you help each other realize that all the things you want to be -- you already are."
is it so hard just to have one person really care about u? i mean seriously, they dont have to be superman or w/e they just hav to be there and actually care. a lot of people say they care and the second something goes wrong or your problems are too much for them to care about they just leave. i have abandon issues. and why do i feel like i lost something, when i never really had it?
So everyone, give me a chuckle or two by doing this for me,
1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.
My place to rest/when the time is right
Chubbs741 (7:06:37 PM): mary
Chubbs741 (7:06:40 PM): this will sound corny
Chubbs741 (7:06:49 PM): but i just felt like telling you that i love you
KG75 (7:07:39 PM): oh petey
KG75 (7:07:43 PM): i really like that
KG75 (7:07:45 PM): i love you too
KG75 (7:07:54 PM): im smiling wicked hard.
Chubbs741 (7:07:58 PM): cool man
Chubbs741 (7:08:48 PM): im happy, i just felt like saying it
KG75 (7:09:30 PM): i really am the luckiest girl.
KG75 (7:09:35 PM): thanks fo reminding me.
Chubbs741 (7:09:57 PM): word man i do what i can
Life is a Bitch, and Life's a Beach
you've got the sun and the sand in your suit, all within your reach.
Oprah was funny today. She had a guy on that wrote a book called:
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
It's all about the excuses woman make for guys in relationships, like he's busy, he's commitment phobic, he's been hurt by relationships, when the simple fact is...He's just not that into you. Women on the show were giving him relationship scenarios, asking questions like why doesn't he call when he say's he will? It was hillarious. The guy was brutally honest and he told these woman that the fact is, MEN ARE NOT COMPLICATED...If they don't call, if they are too busy for you, if he is hanging out with other chicks, guess what babe? Not into you.
I guess it amused me because as stupid as I am, I know when guys are not into me. Even guys I'm sleeping with. But these poor pitiful women are spending their lives waiting for the return phone call. Not me. I'm single, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I want nothing more than to settle for any guy just to have someone. But I'm not that stupid. I won't give my heart away just because I am tired of holding it.
My favorite line was when a lady was talking about a guy she had a fabulous date with, and then never had another one. But he would e-mail her and text message her, just to say hello. She thought he was giving mixed messages. The guy that wrote the book told her : "I bought a burgandy shirt once. I loved it. I only wore it once. I keep it in the closet just in case I want to wear it again, but the simple fact is, I never do."
I don't ever want to be that girl.
some people are so amazing that I can't wait another second to see them again.
i love timmy.
because he loves me back
even though im a butthead sometimes.
and i love steven.
because he comes up with the funniest
analogies and crap.
and i love andrew.
because he dedicated all of his seminar
to writing me a three page letter.
AND I LOVE EVERYONE
WITH A LOVE SO STRONG
IT IS STRONGER THAN
STRONG THINGS !
im out of it again.
i get jealous easily.
im too hard on myself.
i need more time.
i can hear crickets.
ive been thirsty lately.
hi, my name is kayleen.
and im being random.
"aint it grand" :-).
i love ewan mcgregor's voice.
i wish i could sing.
i am too selfish.
i want too much.
ill be able to vote
before abby can drive.
i love abby though.
are you keeping up?
im too irresponsible
to go to the library.
i need more sleep.
i talk too much.
way too much.
i write too much.
i cant stop.
its like a drug.
i dont feel like im seventeen.
i act like im 10.
i dont want to get older.
i talk about myself too much
but at the same time
i dont feel at liberty to
talk about other people
as of the moment.
He slipped out of his seat and onto the white carpet of snow and slid over to the blue-labeled slope. The view was a Monet of bleached-top pines and little brown roofs six hundred feet below.
So what can i say but that i feel neglected...im more than lonely, im confused
Letmestainyou ::loves::
Dark, deep eyes
Swallow the world whole
And it's like everytime I turn around
I fall in love and find my heart face down
and where it lands is where it should.
-Nickelback "Feelin too damn good"
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
[Anything beautiful isn't simple, it's complicated...it's worth it]
ridiculous
And you know I played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know cause everyone says that i'm not the same
As I lay there, tossing and turning
In my mind these thoughts burning
When I rise my vision's blurring
All of this at once occurring
Shooting pain, loss of tread
Now the carpet’s turning red
For everything I’ve done or said
I apologize; for these are things I cannot mend
A broken nose, a cut or scrape
Can easily be helped or replaced
But words cannot, I see that in my own face,
Now that I’ve beat the race,
Of insults and lies,
Like meaningless flies.
Look at this girl who sits and cries,
As the world around her dies.
All the words I’ve spoken
All those nights I stayed up token’
Now my monster has awoken
All my friendships long since broken
I am sorry for this
You’ve no idea how much I miss
The joy of company, oh sweet bliss,
How long since that I’ve been kissed
For all this I apologize.
Can’t you see this in my eyes?
You're still nothing to me, and this is NOTHING to me,
And you don't know what you've done, but I'll give you a CLUE.
You could have been number one, if you only had the chance,
And you could have ruled the WHOLE world, if you had the time.
[best part of the song...] MUSE.
You don't make me sorry. Now I know
That you never listened - Listen.
I never needed anybody, it won't change now.
Am I wrong?
Don't sing along with me.
I said I was fine,
It's just the second time
We lost the war.
"That's my Billy. He's so charming - it's like he can do no wrong." -Dommeh
Dom: "Billy's a great guy."
Billz: "Dom's an idiot."
Billy: "I just lost my train of thought. Keep talking Dom."
Dom: "I like eggs in the morning and bacon at night. Is that bad?"
Billy: "No keep going, keep going."
Dom: "When I was seven I used to eat ants."
Billy: "Wait, I remembered! I just lost it again. Thats amazing isn't it?"
Billy: "Well I've known you know for about 4 or 5 years and they've been the happiest 4 or 5 years of my life."
Dom: (nods)"I bring sunshine into people's hearts just though my talking and my mind work."
Billy: "Yeah..."
Dom: [on Billy] "We spend so much time together. We enjoy each other's company. We're constantly walking up and down the red carpet with an arm around each other and chatting and all that kind of stuff. So the rumours are rife! There was a rumour about Elijah and me that Ian McKellen told us about - we were having an affair in LA! But you know I'm not going to confirm or deny [laughs]. Billy and I do fit like a jigsaw. Still now, three or four years down the line, we'll manage to make each other crack up in tears of laughter... and fascinate each other, which is the perfect relationship. Maybe we will get married in a couple of years! If he was a girl, I'd marry him today! I've been suggesting to Billy a sex change, but he really feels quite manly about things [Billy shouts, "I love women!"]. Yes, he's really passionate about women, as I am."
Dom: [on Billy]" He's got quite enchanting eyes. You know how it is with the eclipse? If you keep looking at it for a certain amount of time, you can't stop - you have to keep looking at it. That's like Billy's eyes - if you look at them for more than 20 or 30 seconds, then you're hooked."
“Would he use the word tight: nnno unless he was referring to me..."
What you just read was something I saw on EMILY ANN KNOESEL'S LIVE JOURNAL SITE. It was a questionaire thing about what you would want in a guy, which of course girls love. So, one of the questions, as you saw above, is "Would he use the word tight?" Now, when I read it, I said to myself "Hahah, that'd be so gay if someone said 'That trick was tight!'" But Emily obviously had other things in mind, and answered "No, unless he's referring to me." Let me repeat that: "UNLESS HE IS REFERRING TO ME." I'll let that sink in. Good? You got it? She wants her boyfriend to say that her vagina is tight. Like, in sex? Yes, Emily Knoesel said that, alright. Nope, I can't believe she would say that either. I know, it's unexpected, to say the least. Isn't that really weird? Tote.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!! i make one lousy vagina joke and look what happens... =)
Defense Is Paper Thin, One Touch And I'll Be In...
Oooh, what to say, what to say?? The most surreal couple of days ever, in every possible way!
It's interesting, if I feel myself inclined to slip into old habits, which I haven't really, then I remind myself of the (very little) which I have read about so many negative emotions being motivated by fear, and I instantly feel better! It helps you to understand yourself and others sooo much better, at least, it feels that way. Bizarre. But isn't it true? You're angry at someone for not doing something exactly how you imagined, often the anger means "they weren't thinking of me enough, and I am scared this indicates that they are losing interest/like someone else better/feel they should/need to put others first, and what will the consequences of that be??" Action motivated in some why by fear that I have recently noted: A glare between two people who like the same person romantically when the said person was sitting closer to one of the glarers than the other. Depression in a friend, because the males she admires don't admire her, even though she has been romantically involved with them for a long time in the past, and it hasn't worked out. This girl fears being alone more than anything. An acquaintance who feels it necessary to run-down almost everyone she doesn't know to the people who do know them, as she seems to fear that new people will mean that she will be forgotten. It goes on...
I wish the sun would come out. Perhaps it will soon. Two days ago was the most gorgeous day I have had in a long time...nowhere to be, nobody to answer to, lovely company, nice cafes, spring blossom and daffodils and sunshine, the Avon river in the sunshine, and a nice kind of uncertainty.
Currenly I am counselling a friend not to settle for less than she deserves. I am telling her that somwhere the is somebody for her that'll "sweep you off your feet, but who wants YOU and nobody else, and doesn't want to be anywhere you're not, or be with anyone else but you...?" I have been so silly and wasted so many years over people who are varying degrees of not being this person at all, and I won't again.
Off to experience the day. I trust it will be as filled with magic as the past few have been!
I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say
to make me laugh again
let the light back in
I miss my friend
I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile with those blue-green eyes
And I miss your gentle voice
in lonely times like now
sayin' it'll be alright
I miss my friend
“There's no place like home." - The Wizard of Oz
"It’s what everybody remembers about the movie, but it doesn’t resonate with the rest of the story. It’s this sappy, cloying little after thought that was probably tacked on by a studio exec. Think about it. Home is like this desolate grey dust bowl of a place where some nasty old lady is trying to kill your dog. And Oz is...technicolor.And sure it has its problems. Poppy fields, flying monkeys...talking trees.
But along the way you make friends. Good friends. With people you never knew existed when you were growing up: straw people and tin people and lions. And you help each other realize that all the things you want to be -- you already are."
is it so hard just to have one person really care about u? i mean seriously, they dont have to be superman or w/e they just hav to be there and actually care. a lot of people say they care and the second something goes wrong or your problems are too much for them to care about they just leave. i have abandon issues. and why do i feel like i lost something, when i never really had it?
So everyone, give me a chuckle or two by doing this for me,
1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.
My place to rest/when the time is right
Chubbs741 (7:06:37 PM): mary
Chubbs741 (7:06:40 PM): this will sound corny
Chubbs741 (7:06:49 PM): but i just felt like telling you that i love you
KG75 (7:07:39 PM): oh petey
KG75 (7:07:43 PM): i really like that
KG75 (7:07:45 PM): i love you too
KG75 (7:07:54 PM): im smiling wicked hard.
Chubbs741 (7:07:58 PM): cool man
Chubbs741 (7:08:48 PM): im happy, i just felt like saying it
KG75 (7:09:30 PM): i really am the luckiest girl.
KG75 (7:09:35 PM): thanks fo reminding me.
Chubbs741 (7:09:57 PM): word man i do what i can
Life is a Bitch, and Life's a Beach
you've got the sun and the sand in your suit, all within your reach.
Oprah was funny today. She had a guy on that wrote a book called:
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
It's all about the excuses woman make for guys in relationships, like he's busy, he's commitment phobic, he's been hurt by relationships, when the simple fact is...He's just not that into you. Women on the show were giving him relationship scenarios, asking questions like why doesn't he call when he say's he will? It was hillarious. The guy was brutally honest and he told these woman that the fact is, MEN ARE NOT COMPLICATED...If they don't call, if they are too busy for you, if he is hanging out with other chicks, guess what babe? Not into you.
I guess it amused me because as stupid as I am, I know when guys are not into me. Even guys I'm sleeping with. But these poor pitiful women are spending their lives waiting for the return phone call. Not me. I'm single, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I want nothing more than to settle for any guy just to have someone. But I'm not that stupid. I won't give my heart away just because I am tired of holding it.
My favorite line was when a lady was talking about a guy she had a fabulous date with, and then never had another one. But he would e-mail her and text message her, just to say hello. She thought he was giving mixed messages. The guy that wrote the book told her : "I bought a burgandy shirt once. I loved it. I only wore it once. I keep it in the closet just in case I want to wear it again, but the simple fact is, I never do."
I don't ever want to be that girl.
some people are so amazing that I can't wait another second to see them again.
i love timmy.
because he loves me back
even though im a butthead sometimes.
and i love steven.
because he comes up with the funniest
analogies and crap.
and i love andrew.
because he dedicated all of his seminar
to writing me a three page letter.
AND I LOVE EVERYONE
WITH A LOVE SO STRONG
IT IS STRONGER THAN
STRONG THINGS !
im out of it again.
i get jealous easily.
im too hard on myself.
i need more time.
i can hear crickets.
ive been thirsty lately.
hi, my name is kayleen.
and im being random.
"aint it grand" :-).
i love ewan mcgregor's voice.
i wish i could sing.
i am too selfish.
i want too much.
ill be able to vote
before abby can drive.
i love abby though.
are you keeping up?
im too irresponsible
to go to the library.
i need more sleep.
i talk too much.
way too much.
i write too much.
i cant stop.
its like a drug.
i dont feel like im seventeen.
i act like im 10.
i dont want to get older.
i talk about myself too much
but at the same time
i dont feel at liberty to
talk about other people
as of the moment.