(no subject)
I think I'm having an allergic reaction... to being alone.
My eyes keep itching. And it blows.
Spent my day alone at home. So much for plans.
I hope John's show went well. Haven't heard from him yet. I left him messages all over the place. I hope he got them. And appreciated them.
Chelsea got to go out tonight. Dad brought home some Starbucks for Mom and me. It was really nice of him. He also send out a bunch of emails out to family bragging about my lead in Bells. :) I love my daddy so much.
Sigh. I do feel lonely. Really lonely. I thought I was pulling out of this phase... but I guess there can be relapses.
You know, I really can't wait until college. Fresh start. New faces. Clean slate. I have 4 more months left of high school and, frankly, it couldn't come any faster. I feel like I've exhausted all of my resources and I'm running on fumes. There are very few things in my life that I want to hold on to... the rest... well, its day will come.
I wish it was a week from now. After the past two days, and the events that have occured, I miss John so much. I've been supressing the pain of missing him since he left in January. I wanted to keep focus. But after our talk yesterday, well, our talks over the past few days... I unleashed all my emotion and now I just want some relief. This distance has been the hardest thing to overcome. There are still days when I wonder how we're surviving. That's when I realize that it's our love that keeps us together. As simple as that. Just love. Because out of that love comes our friendship, our passion, our connection, our spirit, our everything.
He really is the best thing in my life.
But he's the one thing that is almost always out of my reach.
My eyes keep itching. And it blows.
Spent my day alone at home. So much for plans.
I hope John's show went well. Haven't heard from him yet. I left him messages all over the place. I hope he got them. And appreciated them.
Chelsea got to go out tonight. Dad brought home some Starbucks for Mom and me. It was really nice of him. He also send out a bunch of emails out to family bragging about my lead in Bells. :) I love my daddy so much.
Sigh. I do feel lonely. Really lonely. I thought I was pulling out of this phase... but I guess there can be relapses.
You know, I really can't wait until college. Fresh start. New faces. Clean slate. I have 4 more months left of high school and, frankly, it couldn't come any faster. I feel like I've exhausted all of my resources and I'm running on fumes. There are very few things in my life that I want to hold on to... the rest... well, its day will come.
I wish it was a week from now. After the past two days, and the events that have occured, I miss John so much. I've been supressing the pain of missing him since he left in January. I wanted to keep focus. But after our talk yesterday, well, our talks over the past few days... I unleashed all my emotion and now I just want some relief. This distance has been the hardest thing to overcome. There are still days when I wonder how we're surviving. That's when I realize that it's our love that keeps us together. As simple as that. Just love. Because out of that love comes our friendship, our passion, our connection, our spirit, our everything.
He really is the best thing in my life.
But he's the one thing that is almost always out of my reach.