(no subject)
I should never have looked at the computer when I got home. It's now 3:30 in the morning, and I want to sleep... but I can't...
Tonight was the John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert... and I must say... AHHHHHHHH!!! SOOOOO GOOOOD!!! :D I had a great night with John, Chelsea, and Bethany. Oh! And I won a free pair of Old Navy jeans. Pretty sweet if you ask me!
Tonight reminded me of how much I miss Matt. I really wanted him to be there with me. He would have loved the concert. From what he tells me, he's having a great time at JMU and that makes me so happy and relieved. But in 4 days, I'll be heading north and that opens up a whole new can of worms. We've been good at talking over the past few days... let's hope we can keep it up.
Other Kelly news:
- Work is finally over. No more getting up at 7 each morning. I'll miss all of the kids, the staff, and especially, Ms. Debbie. She's my second mother and I spent my whole summer with her. It's going to be a shock on Monday when I wake up and I don't have to worry about collecting costume money or making charts (or avoiding making charts) or reblocking a scene. Now, I must focus on...
-Packing. Or the lack thereof. I have packed anything and I have only 4 days left to do it. I'm such a slacker.
-I have a new digital camera, thanks to the overwhelming generosity of John and his parents :D I've been taking lots of pictures and I took a couple of movies from the concert tonight.
-Like I said earlier, Matt is gone. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I've had to do all summer. I cried really bad that night, after I said goodbye. The reality is starting to sink in, and I don't know if I'm ready to handle it. :\
-Update: My year and a half anniversary is Saturday. Isn't that pretty crazy??
People are already planning on their visits to Penn State in the fall. Chels and Dad are coming up for Labor Day weekend for the Akron game, Hannah is coming around the 3rd week of September, John is hoping to come during his fall break in the middle of October, right after Family Weekend and Dad's mentor workshop.
Ok. Seriously. I'm nervous. I'm starting to cry more. My heart is torn in two. One side keeps me excited for school. I feel like I'm ready to go and start over and take the first big step towards my adulthood. But the other half holds me back. I'm anxious to leave behind all that I know, all that I love. I've spent the past 4 months with John, with the occasional day or two away from each other. He is my best friend and my love. We've grown together tremendously over the summer and I don't want to let it go. Last year was hard enough. I don't want another year of it. I am scared to live without the security blanket of my family. Chelsea and I have drifted over the past 6 months or so, and it's upsetting. I know that once I'm at school, I'm going to really regret not forcing her to hang out with me this year. But I can't change the past. I love my sister and I'm going to miss seeing her around the house and peeking into her room, just to annoy her. I'm really going to miss my daddy. :( He's allowed our relationship to mature and grow as I got older and it thrills me. I feel like he respects me as a person now, not just as his daughter. And that's exciting.
Too much sad thinking right now. I'm going to go watch some Lewis Black and watch his release some tension. Then maybe I'll feel less tense and I can fall asleep.
Tonight was the John Mayer/Maroon 5 concert... and I must say... AHHHHHHHH!!! SOOOOO GOOOOD!!! :D I had a great night with John, Chelsea, and Bethany. Oh! And I won a free pair of Old Navy jeans. Pretty sweet if you ask me!
Tonight reminded me of how much I miss Matt. I really wanted him to be there with me. He would have loved the concert. From what he tells me, he's having a great time at JMU and that makes me so happy and relieved. But in 4 days, I'll be heading north and that opens up a whole new can of worms. We've been good at talking over the past few days... let's hope we can keep it up.
Other Kelly news:
- Work is finally over. No more getting up at 7 each morning. I'll miss all of the kids, the staff, and especially, Ms. Debbie. She's my second mother and I spent my whole summer with her. It's going to be a shock on Monday when I wake up and I don't have to worry about collecting costume money or making charts (or avoiding making charts) or reblocking a scene. Now, I must focus on...
-Packing. Or the lack thereof. I have packed anything and I have only 4 days left to do it. I'm such a slacker.
-I have a new digital camera, thanks to the overwhelming generosity of John and his parents :D I've been taking lots of pictures and I took a couple of movies from the concert tonight.
-Like I said earlier, Matt is gone. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I've had to do all summer. I cried really bad that night, after I said goodbye. The reality is starting to sink in, and I don't know if I'm ready to handle it. :\
-Update: My year and a half anniversary is Saturday. Isn't that pretty crazy??
People are already planning on their visits to Penn State in the fall. Chels and Dad are coming up for Labor Day weekend for the Akron game, Hannah is coming around the 3rd week of September, John is hoping to come during his fall break in the middle of October, right after Family Weekend and Dad's mentor workshop.
Ok. Seriously. I'm nervous. I'm starting to cry more. My heart is torn in two. One side keeps me excited for school. I feel like I'm ready to go and start over and take the first big step towards my adulthood. But the other half holds me back. I'm anxious to leave behind all that I know, all that I love. I've spent the past 4 months with John, with the occasional day or two away from each other. He is my best friend and my love. We've grown together tremendously over the summer and I don't want to let it go. Last year was hard enough. I don't want another year of it. I am scared to live without the security blanket of my family. Chelsea and I have drifted over the past 6 months or so, and it's upsetting. I know that once I'm at school, I'm going to really regret not forcing her to hang out with me this year. But I can't change the past. I love my sister and I'm going to miss seeing her around the house and peeking into her room, just to annoy her. I'm really going to miss my daddy. :( He's allowed our relationship to mature and grow as I got older and it thrills me. I feel like he respects me as a person now, not just as his daughter. And that's exciting.
Too much sad thinking right now. I'm going to go watch some Lewis Black and watch his release some tension. Then maybe I'll feel less tense and I can fall asleep.