(no subject)
Well, h'lo. T-T I just ~HAD~ to get sick. Of course I did. Its not enough that I'm under stress cuz of my parents (I'll get to that in a minute), and that I'm just down a bit emotionally.... but I just ~HAD~ to get sick. I'll try to get to school for the afternoon, though. I'm needed today... I've got choir practice at lunch... and then a spare (thank god), and then math (test), and then choir. I'll be skipping out at 5, though... I dunno just how well I'll do at keeping myself perked up. Maybe on the way there, I can see if I can get orange juice from Booster Juice. T-T I seriously need orange juice to keep going any more. Its almost like an addiction. If I don't get my orange juice, I crash. I hope people can't get addicted to stuff like orange juice... lol
and then I had to go and hurt my hand while playing video games... as stupid as it sounds... I seriously peeled a bunch of skin off from rotating the control stick too fast... (I was playing Mario Party)... T-T first my middle finger.. and then I changed to rotating it on my palm... and that got absolutely shredded... *crying*
and my girlfriends upset with me because I was being too clingy...
and then my parents. Sure, they're away in Hawaii. But I'm still trapped. I hafta fill out a form for preregistration for the next grade at my school. But the thing is... I'd wanted to go to Facey... but since my girlfriend is saying I'm being too clingy... maybe its best if I stay at my school even though I want to be with her....
and I also bought this really pretty bathing suit... top bikini piece, and then guy's swim trunks... it looks really good on me, actually... and then... well... I'm scared cuz I know mum's gonna absolutely ~FREAK~ when she sees it... she only ever wants me in one piecers, but... y'know something... my thighs are what are really fat and ugly... T-T and one piecers do absolutely nothing to hide that. THis new bathing suit covers that issue quite nicely.... I don't want to take it back... but if Mum spazzes, that's $40 down the drain!
I'm also kinda worried that... as much as I really really love my girlfriend... that our relationship isn't the best for us. Sometimes I'm worried that our friendship is suffering... and I never want that to happen... we promised eachother before we became girlfriends that... we'd always be friends even if being girlfriends didn't work out... I don't want to stop being her girlfriend... I love her desperately... but I don't want to hurt her or my friendship with her.... T-T and I have trouble giving her as much room as she needs... and I want to be close and snuggle and whatnot... its just not working out as perfectly as it could... and I don't want to break up with her... but I know its not working, so maybe it'd be best for both of us if I did... or maybe at least, just put the distance between us... like when she "broke up" with me. ...... dammit. This is exactly why I never wanted to ever love anybody... I don't want to hurt her... and this isn't exactly "perfect" ofr me, either.... T-T dammit. I really don't know what to do.
anyways, enough ranting... I think I'm gonna get a bit more sleep... and then head off to school... thankfully I got called in sick so I could stay home... *weak smile*
and then I had to go and hurt my hand while playing video games... as stupid as it sounds... I seriously peeled a bunch of skin off from rotating the control stick too fast... (I was playing Mario Party)... T-T first my middle finger.. and then I changed to rotating it on my palm... and that got absolutely shredded... *crying*
and my girlfriends upset with me because I was being too clingy...
and then my parents. Sure, they're away in Hawaii. But I'm still trapped. I hafta fill out a form for preregistration for the next grade at my school. But the thing is... I'd wanted to go to Facey... but since my girlfriend is saying I'm being too clingy... maybe its best if I stay at my school even though I want to be with her....
and I also bought this really pretty bathing suit... top bikini piece, and then guy's swim trunks... it looks really good on me, actually... and then... well... I'm scared cuz I know mum's gonna absolutely ~FREAK~ when she sees it... she only ever wants me in one piecers, but... y'know something... my thighs are what are really fat and ugly... T-T and one piecers do absolutely nothing to hide that. THis new bathing suit covers that issue quite nicely.... I don't want to take it back... but if Mum spazzes, that's $40 down the drain!
I'm also kinda worried that... as much as I really really love my girlfriend... that our relationship isn't the best for us. Sometimes I'm worried that our friendship is suffering... and I never want that to happen... we promised eachother before we became girlfriends that... we'd always be friends even if being girlfriends didn't work out... I don't want to stop being her girlfriend... I love her desperately... but I don't want to hurt her or my friendship with her.... T-T and I have trouble giving her as much room as she needs... and I want to be close and snuggle and whatnot... its just not working out as perfectly as it could... and I don't want to break up with her... but I know its not working, so maybe it'd be best for both of us if I did... or maybe at least, just put the distance between us... like when she "broke up" with me. ...... dammit. This is exactly why I never wanted to ever love anybody... I don't want to hurt her... and this isn't exactly "perfect" ofr me, either.... T-T dammit. I really don't know what to do.
anyways, enough ranting... I think I'm gonna get a bit more sleep... and then head off to school... thankfully I got called in sick so I could stay home... *weak smile*