(no subject)
This is weird. I am having sex dreams about someone that I haven't spoken too in over ten years. Chris. At the age of 11, he gave me my first real kiss. I can honestly say, that I think that he was my first love. For awhile, I always believed that person to have been Jason. But, there was something that was so innocent and sweet between me and Chris (something so pure and sensational), that I might have to change my answer. I really did love this boy. I remember the day that he knocked on my door and asked me to step outside with him. It was cold out. So, I had to put on this huge purple jacket. My hair was tied back in a fishbone that my mother had delicately placed into my hair that morning before school. I thought that I resembled an Oompa-Loompa. The purple coat made me feel chubby, and the fact that my hair was pulled back, made me feel like a boy. I didn't feel cute in the slightest. But, Chris had asked me to step outside with him. So, I did.
We walked towards the other apartment building. We were laughing (more like giggling - two pre-teens, in puppy-love) and just enjoying each other's company. And then it happened. He pushed me against the cold apartment wall, grabbed the edges of my coat, and moved in for a kiss. His nose was cold. His lips were warm. And my stomach turned over and over again in knots. It was odd. And wonderful. That moment has been forever cemented in my brain.
I found him on facebook the other day. My stomach glistened with happiness and butterflies. He lives in the same area that I do now. Ironic. However, he has a girlfriend and a child. Does this matter? I have a boyfriend. I still want to see Chris. Is this allowed? Can something come of this? I might be hoping...
Is there something wrong with me? This picture???