2007

[fallenhearts16]

Hey everyone I want to say  a Happy 2007 New Year.I still can't believe that "O6" is gone.For so long I have neglected this journal as well as my real diary thats not right..I would like to say that I have made alot of changes but I haven't,I know I grown,even if it has been a little improvement it's all I can ask for.I remember when I would hope and pray everyday to wake up and be perfect.At first my idea of perfect was 5'3,115,no marks or scars,with long flowing wavy/curly hair it would be auburn or a deep brown.That's not real..and it never will be for me anyways.I don't want perfect I just want good enough for me.I have a slight bulge in my stomache now..its not huge or disgusting as I thought. was.It can and will be flat.I am thinking in realistic terms now.I will lose ten pounds,have a flat stomach,drink more water,and excerise 3+ times a week.I will study this time and take notes.I have a good average but it means nothing to me unless I work hard for it.Even if I work as hard as I can this semester and get the same marks I'll be estastic because I know that I achieved it because of effort.I started off this New Year and a negative note..when I was drunk I accidently cut myself in the washroom....I was really scared after that I would want to do it again so far I havent and I won't.I am beginning to see that I even when I make mistakes I dont have to continue down a negative path because I feel that I don't deserve a positive one.I do deserve to be happy and healthy.There is a guy in my life...he isn't new we can't go out here because he lives somewhere else but I do believe it can work out in the future.I hope to atleast update once a week thats sounds reasonable but maybe more.My favourite song is The Fray-How To Save A Life I leave you with the steps to the video.
listen
hold still
let go
dont be scare of death
laugh
talk to someone
breathe
cry
accept
forgive
release
have faith
love
secure
remember
say goodbye.

Signing off,

+Sexy Forever+

oxoxo