Recipe!
I think I got this one down now so I'm slapping it here 'cos otherwise I'll write it in a book, lose the book, get annoyed. ;)
You will need:
Food type things.
------------------
1 pack of mince.
1 big red onion.
1 carrot.
1 red pepper.
1 chili. (NOT SCOTCH BONNET AKA HABANERO!)
1 courgette (AKA cooking cucumber).
Some baby leaf spinach, about two or three handfuls but it depends.
1 Beefy OXO.
1 Veggie OXO.
1 knob butter.
Milk or cream.
Seasoning.
Plenty o' baking sized potatoes. (Judge for yourself, I still haven't got that bit right.)
Other cooking type things.
--------------------------
A frying pan.
An oven.
A biggish dish, lasagne dish or something will be sweet.
A large bowl.
A potato masher or some means of mashing potatoes, no, a hammer won't work.
How to cook your tasty dish.
----------------------------
0. For Rob only: DON'T BURN YOURSELF YOU THICK TWAT. I just burn myself a lot cooking and thought some aversion therapy might help...
1. Get the oven up to 200 degrees and bung them spuds in. You want to be sure you're gonna have enough to cover the dish you're using so get all Eureka(!) and judge volumes and stuff, 6-8 is usually the magic number but I really am bad at this bit. Now the spuds are in, make a note of the time.
2. While your spuds are baking (oo-er) chop your onion, carrot, chili, pepper and courgette into little chunklets, no bigger than half a centimetre (quarter inch) big chunks. Now start frying off ya mince. If it's fatty stuff you're gonna want to drain a good proportion of the crap off when the meat is all browned. If you've got the money for lean steak mince, go for it.
(If you've got a food processor you can process the veg, we didn't think it was gonna work when we ended up with coleslaw but it worked a treat in the end. We also found out that red pepper, chili, carrot, onion and courgette coleslaw works really nice with a balsamic vinegar dressing but that's another recipe. Oooh, that would work great on the side of this dish though. Good thinking Man-Bat!))
3. When the meat is browned chuck in the chopped vegs and mix thru. DON'T COOK THE VEG THRU. That's what ovens are for. Put the kettle on and just wait for the courgettes to soften up a bit 'cos they take the longest. Put your two crumbled OXOs in a jug and make up to 1/3 -> 1/2 a pint depending on how much you're making here. Pour stock over meat and veg and mix up, now, pour into dish, jiggle about till level.
4. Take your baby leaf spinach and place a thinnish layer of spinach leaves all over the top of the meat. Don't worry about sticky up bits, the meat is still cooking underneath and that should cause the spinach to wilt down level. Put aside somewhere out of light and heat and wait for the spuds.
5. Once your spuds have hit the hour mark, check them out. Are they crispy on the outside but squidgy on the inside (sorta like an overripe melon but not at all)? Great they're done! Otherwise lob 'em back in and keep checking every twenty minutes or so. Once they're out, turn the oven down, but not off.
6. Now you've got your spuds grab a large bowl suitable for mashing. Using a towel or cloth, hold the spud in your hand, cut in half and scoop out the cooked potato goodness. Potato goodness goes in bowl, empty skin goes on baking tray for the olive oil and rock salt treatment 'cos who doesn't love potato skins? When you've got all the goodness in the bowl, add a knob (fnarr) of butter and a splash of milk/cream. Now mash! Mash as if the dogs of hell were upon your tail and the only way to survive is to, erm, mash potatoes... Anyway, feel free to add funky things to the mash, whatever your fancy. Nice bit of crushed black pepper? Some chives? I like the way you're thinking.
7. Now you've got your creamy, creamy mash and there's no lumps are there? Have you checked? No one likes lumpy mash u know? Alright then. Whack the oven back up to 200 celcius. Go get your dish and you should see the meat and veg has formed a solid layer at the bottom and your spinach should be covering uniformly but don't cry if it isn't. Gently move the mash to the dish and spread evenly across the top and be sure to seal the sides. It's better to leave a thin patch in the middle then come back and find the heat's got to the meat and it's half burned. I like to add a sprinkling of the cheese and black pepper to the top at this point. Others like to make those wavy patterns in the top with a fork. Whatever, go wild.
8. Put dish in oven UNCOVERED on middle shelf and leave for at least 30 minutes. Don't take it out the oven till the top's all golden and mouth-watering though.
9. For Rob only: TURN THE BLOODY OVEN OFF. I keep forgetting to turn the oven off...
And there you have it Cottage Pie Deluxe, serve it with a nice bit of crusty bread and proper butter you bloody heathens, some of that coleslaw I was talking about, a glass of the red stuff and it'll turn out allllllllright. Giggity!
You will need:
Food type things.
------------------
1 pack of mince.
1 big red onion.
1 carrot.
1 red pepper.
1 chili. (NOT SCOTCH BONNET AKA HABANERO!)
1 courgette (AKA cooking cucumber).
Some baby leaf spinach, about two or three handfuls but it depends.
1 Beefy OXO.
1 Veggie OXO.
1 knob butter.
Milk or cream.
Seasoning.
Plenty o' baking sized potatoes. (Judge for yourself, I still haven't got that bit right.)
Other cooking type things.
--------------------------
A frying pan.
An oven.
A biggish dish, lasagne dish or something will be sweet.
A large bowl.
A potato masher or some means of mashing potatoes, no, a hammer won't work.
How to cook your tasty dish.
----------------------------
0. For Rob only: DON'T BURN YOURSELF YOU THICK TWAT. I just burn myself a lot cooking and thought some aversion therapy might help...
1. Get the oven up to 200 degrees and bung them spuds in. You want to be sure you're gonna have enough to cover the dish you're using so get all Eureka(!) and judge volumes and stuff, 6-8 is usually the magic number but I really am bad at this bit. Now the spuds are in, make a note of the time.
2. While your spuds are baking (oo-er) chop your onion, carrot, chili, pepper and courgette into little chunklets, no bigger than half a centimetre (quarter inch) big chunks. Now start frying off ya mince. If it's fatty stuff you're gonna want to drain a good proportion of the crap off when the meat is all browned. If you've got the money for lean steak mince, go for it.
(If you've got a food processor you can process the veg, we didn't think it was gonna work when we ended up with coleslaw but it worked a treat in the end. We also found out that red pepper, chili, carrot, onion and courgette coleslaw works really nice with a balsamic vinegar dressing but that's another recipe. Oooh, that would work great on the side of this dish though. Good thinking Man-Bat!))
3. When the meat is browned chuck in the chopped vegs and mix thru. DON'T COOK THE VEG THRU. That's what ovens are for. Put the kettle on and just wait for the courgettes to soften up a bit 'cos they take the longest. Put your two crumbled OXOs in a jug and make up to 1/3 -> 1/2 a pint depending on how much you're making here. Pour stock over meat and veg and mix up, now, pour into dish, jiggle about till level.
4. Take your baby leaf spinach and place a thinnish layer of spinach leaves all over the top of the meat. Don't worry about sticky up bits, the meat is still cooking underneath and that should cause the spinach to wilt down level. Put aside somewhere out of light and heat and wait for the spuds.
5. Once your spuds have hit the hour mark, check them out. Are they crispy on the outside but squidgy on the inside (sorta like an overripe melon but not at all)? Great they're done! Otherwise lob 'em back in and keep checking every twenty minutes or so. Once they're out, turn the oven down, but not off.
6. Now you've got your spuds grab a large bowl suitable for mashing. Using a towel or cloth, hold the spud in your hand, cut in half and scoop out the cooked potato goodness. Potato goodness goes in bowl, empty skin goes on baking tray for the olive oil and rock salt treatment 'cos who doesn't love potato skins? When you've got all the goodness in the bowl, add a knob (fnarr) of butter and a splash of milk/cream. Now mash! Mash as if the dogs of hell were upon your tail and the only way to survive is to, erm, mash potatoes... Anyway, feel free to add funky things to the mash, whatever your fancy. Nice bit of crushed black pepper? Some chives? I like the way you're thinking.
7. Now you've got your creamy, creamy mash and there's no lumps are there? Have you checked? No one likes lumpy mash u know? Alright then. Whack the oven back up to 200 celcius. Go get your dish and you should see the meat and veg has formed a solid layer at the bottom and your spinach should be covering uniformly but don't cry if it isn't. Gently move the mash to the dish and spread evenly across the top and be sure to seal the sides. It's better to leave a thin patch in the middle then come back and find the heat's got to the meat and it's half burned. I like to add a sprinkling of the cheese and black pepper to the top at this point. Others like to make those wavy patterns in the top with a fork. Whatever, go wild.
8. Put dish in oven UNCOVERED on middle shelf and leave for at least 30 minutes. Don't take it out the oven till the top's all golden and mouth-watering though.
9. For Rob only: TURN THE BLOODY OVEN OFF. I keep forgetting to turn the oven off...
And there you have it Cottage Pie Deluxe, serve it with a nice bit of crusty bread and proper butter you bloody heathens, some of that coleslaw I was talking about, a glass of the red stuff and it'll turn out allllllllright. Giggity!