What is it you hate so much about your own people?
There are so many mistakes.
And most of them are mine.
You don't really know how you feel, and that's ok... but I don't know how to act now, how to feel... how to talk to you. I have to be careful.... People wonder why I hate love.
And you... you! You want my trust, yet you won't trust me. I'm trying to trust you again, but I have to hear all the big things in your life from your other friends. Friends of yours, and I'm supposed to be your confidant? I'm sorry I'm not a "yes" person. But I'm truly looking out for YOU, while some are looking out for their own interests.
And as for you, I don't know how to repay you for all that you've done for me, and what you're still doing for me. I don't know how I would have survived all this recently with out you. I know I've been irritable, and I apologize, but I am ever so appreciative.
I wish I wasn't so worried all the time, I would be able to get to sleep for once. I fell asleep on the couch while watching tv w/ bill, but I am pretty sure that was from the benedryl I took earlier. And I have to say that was the best sleep I've had in weeks. That's sad. I quit drinking to have a better image, but I have never wanted a drink more in my life than these last few days. I just want to not think about all this crud. But no, me & alcohol where getting a little too close for comfort, and I'm not ok with that...
"I find the best way is usually to walk off the tracks and punch a hole through the side of tunnel. Not always easy, or smart for that matter, but at least you'll know you got where you are because of you." So says a good friend...
I'm trying to find where I want to go with all this mess I've made. I talked briefly to brandee today, and there's a chance we might get a place together after this next school year & go to Kent main together. I would love that so much. I think Brandee & I have a lot more in common than I had previously perceived, and I think we have a lot to offer each other, and that we could really be there for each other, if she wants/lets me. It made me really want to get on top of all this chaos in my life.
And I got another letter from kent stark today, they got my transcript so now I have to do placement testing, academic advising, and register. I have to revolve my schedule around Bill's, whenever he gets his together. I am hoping this doesn't have to be too difficult... *sigh*
Well, I didn't really get anything done today that's on that list.... but I will work extra hard tomorrow.
And, BRA is coming down!! I just have to find out what time!
I guess that's all for tonite...
*~Tsuki No Oni~*
And most of them are mine.
You don't really know how you feel, and that's ok... but I don't know how to act now, how to feel... how to talk to you. I have to be careful.... People wonder why I hate love.
And you... you! You want my trust, yet you won't trust me. I'm trying to trust you again, but I have to hear all the big things in your life from your other friends. Friends of yours, and I'm supposed to be your confidant? I'm sorry I'm not a "yes" person. But I'm truly looking out for YOU, while some are looking out for their own interests.
And as for you, I don't know how to repay you for all that you've done for me, and what you're still doing for me. I don't know how I would have survived all this recently with out you. I know I've been irritable, and I apologize, but I am ever so appreciative.
I wish I wasn't so worried all the time, I would be able to get to sleep for once. I fell asleep on the couch while watching tv w/ bill, but I am pretty sure that was from the benedryl I took earlier. And I have to say that was the best sleep I've had in weeks. That's sad. I quit drinking to have a better image, but I have never wanted a drink more in my life than these last few days. I just want to not think about all this crud. But no, me & alcohol where getting a little too close for comfort, and I'm not ok with that...
"I find the best way is usually to walk off the tracks and punch a hole through the side of tunnel. Not always easy, or smart for that matter, but at least you'll know you got where you are because of you." So says a good friend...
I'm trying to find where I want to go with all this mess I've made. I talked briefly to brandee today, and there's a chance we might get a place together after this next school year & go to Kent main together. I would love that so much. I think Brandee & I have a lot more in common than I had previously perceived, and I think we have a lot to offer each other, and that we could really be there for each other, if she wants/lets me. It made me really want to get on top of all this chaos in my life.
And I got another letter from kent stark today, they got my transcript so now I have to do placement testing, academic advising, and register. I have to revolve my schedule around Bill's, whenever he gets his together. I am hoping this doesn't have to be too difficult... *sigh*
Well, I didn't really get anything done today that's on that list.... but I will work extra hard tomorrow.
And, BRA is coming down!! I just have to find out what time!
I guess that's all for tonite...
*~Tsuki No Oni~*