i haven't been this unhappy in a long time
i cannot remember the last time i thought it was important for me to sit down and write everything down. i do not remember the last time i was so unhappy. i keep telling myself that i have every thing in the world i could possibly ask for, but i feel so empty and hollow. empty. empty. empty. something is missing and i cannot seem to find what it is that i need to fill it. i am sitting down on the floor, of my own place, where no one can find me or bother me. i live in a part of town i used to drive to to escape. it is ironic, it is like a poem that no one can read. you are there, but you are not there. i have love, i have friends, but i feel so alone. i feel like i am the only one. i feel like i am the only one here. who or what am i missing? why am i feeling this way? i cannot explain it, i cannot fix it. i am alone. here. alone. here. alone.
where do i go? what do i do? i assume everything is fine. i pretend everything is fine. no one can see inside, not even myself. i just waltz along to the tune of what i think should happen. i push nothing away because i cannot find what is wrong. this is so frustrating. this in itself is frustrating. what is wrong? i do not know. i feel hurt, i feel crushed, i feel depleted. i long for human connection and emotion. i long for more meaning.
where do i go? what do i do? i assume everything is fine. i pretend everything is fine. no one can see inside, not even myself. i just waltz along to the tune of what i think should happen. i push nothing away because i cannot find what is wrong. this is so frustrating. this in itself is frustrating. what is wrong? i do not know. i feel hurt, i feel crushed, i feel depleted. i long for human connection and emotion. i long for more meaning.