people
so whats new in my life nuthin much just everything in general will n me idk nemore things r gettin rocky he thinks its funny to be mean to me and i just dont have the courage to stand up to him bc i dont want to lose him bc hes the only person i have really nemore i mean theres ppl who act like my friends in school but nobody really close im always alone and now that hes home from Angelias it makes me feel like crap bc they are so much closer than ever and it makes me feel like im out of the picture and it does hurt bc i do still care about him and i wanna be with him but hes so in love with her he doesnt wanna be with me and it makes me feel like less than her and i start to down myself and then i have no one to go to bc hes all i got and how do u tell the person that made u cry that hes the reason ure crying without makin them feel like crap its impossible so basically im alone crying with no one but the stuffed monkey he got me for xmas and i kno he still cares bc he hints at it all the time but an i love u once in awhile would make it tons easier but he wont say it bc he dont wanna hurt her and in the process hes hurtin me but he doesnt mean it thats just how he is and it makes me mad but i cant tell him with out hurtin him and becoming afraid of losing him i think basically its just that ive been alone so long bc of what i look like that finally now i found somone who cares im afraid to lose them bc i dont wanna go back to the hurt and alone feeling like had before imet him i mean i love him to death but its just 17 years of bein alone is hard i just cant take much more well i might go call him idk write more tommorrow