(no subject)
So, I wrote a letter last night well, a few letters, I had a lot on my mind and decided this would be the way to solve it. Everyone knows writing it the way I try to solve things now...its better then how I used to do it. I really liked what I did though. Its been awhile since I bared my soul to some people and it really just let the bad vibes in me out. So, if you want to read them they are parts of them in below....
Part of letter to GREG
Look, I understand that it was weird for us. But, I don't see why we still can't be friends. I never ment for what happen with us in March to ruin our friendship. We both know we were drunk. Hell, I don't know why we both weren't passed out. But, I can see that you're stuck being a little boy about it. I don't really even think about it anymore. The thing I think about is how much you have changed. And, I wish it was for the better. Maybe, you haven't changed and I have. I just think that we need to sit down and talk. Not let our angry towards one an other build and then blow up at each other when were at work. It just isn't right. I've tried ignoring you, being polite, and being a bitch. And, all still get the same responds. I'm sorry for what happen with us. But, don't blame it all on me. There was two of us you know.
Andy
I don't get you. I sit there and tell you I only want to be friends and you keep thinking there is something else there. Yes, so I kissed you. Big deal it's not like I lead you on and tried to misillusion you into thinking I would up root my life and move to Saginaw for you, like you tried to talk me into doing. I'm sorry if I wasn't happy just thinking of having a relationship with you. I told you that first I wasn't looking for one, I was looking for fun. Second, I told you with you being in Saginaw it wasn't going to work and I wasn't going to try and make it work. Third, you're honestly not what I am looking for in a partner. Sweetie, you're a doll, attractive, smart, and one day going to make another girl so happy. But, you're not right for me. I know at a time I thought you might have been but, now isn't that time. Hell, I'm just 18 years old I don't even know what I want yet. How could you sit there and be like I think I'm falling in love with you. But, please don't hate me. I mean, I dunno you have every right to hate me. But, I just hope you don't.
Someone
I know that I was probably only a one time thing. Wish not but hey, what can I do. But, I just wanted to wish you good luck in all you do. I kind of was hoping we could stay friends or something like that. I dunno. I was dumb for what happen what can I say. But, it was an experience. I hope you know that wasn't the real me though. I'm not someone that does something like that, well at least with a perfect stranger. On the other hand though, I had fun and hope you did too. I'm still confused about it though. But, thats just me, confusion is a normal state of mind for me. But, I dunno. Hope you have a good time in everything you do. And hoping to see you again. Once again thanks for the coffee.
So, yeah, most definately got like 12 hours of sleep today. It was nice. I woke up happy and relaxed. Its raining and really cooled off. Its nice as well. Going out with Maia looking forward to that, tomorrow for a late dinner or something. I really need to talk to her. I miss talking to her. Don't have to work for a while that will be nice. Got paid today WOO HOO! I need to clean my room...that is my goal for tomorrow. I think I want to repaint my room. Its a light blue...I want to add some dark blue streaks through it, or something to break up the color...
Thinking of dying my hair this weekend. and getting it trimmed up its getting a little shaggy per se. Gonna go a chocolate brown and carmel highlights/chunks. Something different. Well, I'm gonna go post my art work in my art journal. Feel free to look at it...just some photography.
xoxo
Kim
Art Journal.....tragic_words