(no subject)
Ugh, I feel utterly horrible. Probably because I didn't sleep much last night. Andy called me when I got back from being out and we fought...again...No big surprise. And, yet he still wonders why I don't want a relationship. Ugh. I wish he would just understand that its nothing personally against him I just don't want to deal with the distance. He made me feel so terrible. But, then again I probably made him feel bad too. But, its not like were dating. I told him flat out in March all I wanted was a friendship. Whatever though.
A= Andy
K= Me
K- Hello?
A- Hey you!
K- Hi.
A- How have you been doing?
K- Good, I guess. Yourself?
A- I miss you.
K- I'm sorry.
A- Don't be. But, I really do miss your voice.
K- Okay. (looks through CDs)
-------silence----------
A- So...I thought about you today.
K- Oh, why?
A- I dunno I just started to miss you. I was driving and was thinking of you.
K- Oh.
A- Have you thought about me lately?
K- Not really.
A- Why not?
K- I dunno. It could be the fact its been almost 2 monthes since I have seen you or talked to you.
A- I'm sorry.
K- Okay.
A- What's your problem.
K- Nothing why?
A- You're acting strange.
K- Oh, I'm sorry then.
A- Okay.
---------silence--------
K- So, is this all you wanted to tell me? (turns music up)
A- What are you listening too?
K- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
A- Never heard of them.
K- Their good.
A- Really? -----------silences---------- I miss you.
K- Yeah, you told me that.
A- Are you seeing someone else?
K- No. And I'm not seeing you. We made that clear in March.
A- I know but...
K- But what?
A- I dunno, I thought I could come down for a weekend.
K- Nah, been there, tried that.
A- Are you still holding that against me?
-----silences------
A- Are you?
K- Am I what?
A- Holding the fact that I didn't come down in March to see you?
K- No.
A- Why are you being weird?
K- I'm not being weird.
A- You don't like me anymore do you?
K- What is this 5th grade? How can I even think about something like that when I haven't even talked to you in two monthes I just don't care anymore Andy!
A- Why are you being like this?
K- Like what?
A- All bitchy.
------silence------
A- I'm sorry.
K- Don't be.
A- I should have known this was too good to last.
K- What was?
A- Us.
K- Us?! What us??
A- I dunno I guess the thought of us.
K- Andy, how many times do I have to say there was never an us.
A- I thought there could be though.
K- We both know it wouldn't work.
A- We did? Why wasn't I informed on this.
K- You were in March when we met. I said I wasn't looking for a relationship. I told you that many, many times.
A- I know but I thought you would change your mind.
---------silence---------
A- I still do miss you.
K- Mmmkay.
A- Could you at least sound a little interested?
K- What like this? Oh Andy I miss you too I always think of you and I can't wait to go to Saginaw so I can blow my cousin off and see you agian?
A- What is his name?
K- Who's name?
A- You have to be seeing someone else.
K- No, I'm not.
A- Riight.
K- I'm not and if I was I would told you about it. Plus, we're only friends remember?
A- I didn't want to be you're the one that called it that.
K- You're the one that blew your chance.
A- I think I'm gonna go. Before I say something I'll regret.
K- Just say it. It's not like its going to hurt me.
------------silence and then he hangs up his phone. I call him back----------
K- WHAT THE FUCK?!
A- What, I said i was going to go. I didn't have anything to say to you when you're like this.
K- Like what?
A- All distance and shit.
K- How the hell am I suppose to be? Overjoyed to talk to you? It's been two fucking months Andy get over it already.
A- I can't. I think i was falling inlove with you?
K- (laughes) Good joke there.
A- I'm not joking we connected on such a level.
K- No we didn't.
A- At one time you were interested.
K- Interested, yes. Going to persue it? No.
A- I blew it didn't I...I always fuck up these things.
K- There was nothing to blow.
------silence---------
A- Why do you hate me?
K- I don't hate you, I just don't want to be anything more then friends. And, I have told you this.
A- But....why?
K- Because. Do I need to explain every little thing?
A- It would be nice.
K- To say it flatly you're not what I am looking for. I just wanted to be friends.
A- Then why did you kiss me?
K- Actually, we kissed one another.
A- Okay, then why did you give me your number.
K- To be polite.
A- POLITE?!
K- Yeah, polite.
-----silence-----
K- I better go I have to work in the morning.
A- I miss you.
K- I really don't care anymore. That's all you ever say. It gets alittle old after a while.
A- Have a good day.
K- Right. (hangs up)
xoxo,
Kim
A= Andy
K= Me
K- Hello?
A- Hey you!
K- Hi.
A- How have you been doing?
K- Good, I guess. Yourself?
A- I miss you.
K- I'm sorry.
A- Don't be. But, I really do miss your voice.
K- Okay. (looks through CDs)
-------silence----------
A- So...I thought about you today.
K- Oh, why?
A- I dunno I just started to miss you. I was driving and was thinking of you.
K- Oh.
A- Have you thought about me lately?
K- Not really.
A- Why not?
K- I dunno. It could be the fact its been almost 2 monthes since I have seen you or talked to you.
A- I'm sorry.
K- Okay.
A- What's your problem.
K- Nothing why?
A- You're acting strange.
K- Oh, I'm sorry then.
A- Okay.
---------silence--------
K- So, is this all you wanted to tell me? (turns music up)
A- What are you listening too?
K- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
A- Never heard of them.
K- Their good.
A- Really? -----------silences---------- I miss you.
K- Yeah, you told me that.
A- Are you seeing someone else?
K- No. And I'm not seeing you. We made that clear in March.
A- I know but...
K- But what?
A- I dunno, I thought I could come down for a weekend.
K- Nah, been there, tried that.
A- Are you still holding that against me?
-----silences------
A- Are you?
K- Am I what?
A- Holding the fact that I didn't come down in March to see you?
K- No.
A- Why are you being weird?
K- I'm not being weird.
A- You don't like me anymore do you?
K- What is this 5th grade? How can I even think about something like that when I haven't even talked to you in two monthes I just don't care anymore Andy!
A- Why are you being like this?
K- Like what?
A- All bitchy.
------silence------
A- I'm sorry.
K- Don't be.
A- I should have known this was too good to last.
K- What was?
A- Us.
K- Us?! What us??
A- I dunno I guess the thought of us.
K- Andy, how many times do I have to say there was never an us.
A- I thought there could be though.
K- We both know it wouldn't work.
A- We did? Why wasn't I informed on this.
K- You were in March when we met. I said I wasn't looking for a relationship. I told you that many, many times.
A- I know but I thought you would change your mind.
---------silence---------
A- I still do miss you.
K- Mmmkay.
A- Could you at least sound a little interested?
K- What like this? Oh Andy I miss you too I always think of you and I can't wait to go to Saginaw so I can blow my cousin off and see you agian?
A- What is his name?
K- Who's name?
A- You have to be seeing someone else.
K- No, I'm not.
A- Riight.
K- I'm not and if I was I would told you about it. Plus, we're only friends remember?
A- I didn't want to be you're the one that called it that.
K- You're the one that blew your chance.
A- I think I'm gonna go. Before I say something I'll regret.
K- Just say it. It's not like its going to hurt me.
------------silence and then he hangs up his phone. I call him back----------
K- WHAT THE FUCK?!
A- What, I said i was going to go. I didn't have anything to say to you when you're like this.
K- Like what?
A- All distance and shit.
K- How the hell am I suppose to be? Overjoyed to talk to you? It's been two fucking months Andy get over it already.
A- I can't. I think i was falling inlove with you?
K- (laughes) Good joke there.
A- I'm not joking we connected on such a level.
K- No we didn't.
A- At one time you were interested.
K- Interested, yes. Going to persue it? No.
A- I blew it didn't I...I always fuck up these things.
K- There was nothing to blow.
------silence---------
A- Why do you hate me?
K- I don't hate you, I just don't want to be anything more then friends. And, I have told you this.
A- But....why?
K- Because. Do I need to explain every little thing?
A- It would be nice.
K- To say it flatly you're not what I am looking for. I just wanted to be friends.
A- Then why did you kiss me?
K- Actually, we kissed one another.
A- Okay, then why did you give me your number.
K- To be polite.
A- POLITE?!
K- Yeah, polite.
-----silence-----
K- I better go I have to work in the morning.
A- I miss you.
K- I really don't care anymore. That's all you ever say. It gets alittle old after a while.
A- Have a good day.
K- Right. (hangs up)
xoxo,
Kim