Things are not good.....
Where to begin....
I know my life isn't the worst, I know it's DEFINATELY not the best....I hate to bitch and be a drama queen but I must....
This whole brad-sarah thing is STILL bothering me, so much I had a mental-breakdown at work last night. I love him...I always have and probably always will. I haven't physically seen him for a couple weeks so I've been alright, I met him in passing last night at work and it was the "straw that broke the camel's back". I had a panic attack and then proceded to cry for about 2 hours. In front of 3 of my managers none-the-less. I'm sure Kerry thinks I'm crazy, and I probably am, but I can't help it. I love him so much I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel, I know he doesn't care....He has a 'perfect' life now....has a girlfriend who is content to hang out at his apartment, play video games, drink, get high and have sex. They won't break up unless it's on her part...this i know.
She doesn't love him....she's still hung-up on her ex. Everytime she's out and her ex is out, she runs out of the bar crying. I even overheard her say one night "I have a boyfrined who loves me, and I still can't get over him"
Speaking of getting over, Eric and I are ALWAYS together....he even asked me today "what are we" and I told him it would be unfair to date again, because of my emotional rollercoaster ride that I'm on right now. I still love eric, but i'm not IN love with him. So I don't know....well i gotta head to work....
I know my life isn't the worst, I know it's DEFINATELY not the best....I hate to bitch and be a drama queen but I must....
This whole brad-sarah thing is STILL bothering me, so much I had a mental-breakdown at work last night. I love him...I always have and probably always will. I haven't physically seen him for a couple weeks so I've been alright, I met him in passing last night at work and it was the "straw that broke the camel's back". I had a panic attack and then proceded to cry for about 2 hours. In front of 3 of my managers none-the-less. I'm sure Kerry thinks I'm crazy, and I probably am, but I can't help it. I love him so much I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel, I know he doesn't care....He has a 'perfect' life now....has a girlfriend who is content to hang out at his apartment, play video games, drink, get high and have sex. They won't break up unless it's on her part...this i know.
She doesn't love him....she's still hung-up on her ex. Everytime she's out and her ex is out, she runs out of the bar crying. I even overheard her say one night "I have a boyfrined who loves me, and I still can't get over him"
Speaking of getting over, Eric and I are ALWAYS together....he even asked me today "what are we" and I told him it would be unfair to date again, because of my emotional rollercoaster ride that I'm on right now. I still love eric, but i'm not IN love with him. So I don't know....well i gotta head to work....