She's Gotta Be Somebody's Only Light... Gonna Shine Tonight...
Well, I've been having a pretty good past few days. I've been in a pretty solid good mood this week. I think this is due to John stopping in A-Town on his way to TN to see me. He'll be up here by the 1st of April. Even life at the Clark residence (JoAnn's) Has been... dare I say... Good, if not pleasent. I stayed there last weekend, due to Hers & Calla's birthdays. I got Calla her own copy of Nightmare Before Christmas on VHS, two Poke'Mon VHSs, a disney coloring book, & a stuffed Clifford the Big Red Dog. I haven't been able to get JoAnn anything yet, but I have an Idea as soon as I get $1.06. She let me use her washing machine & Dryer the other day & let me on the computer last week! I think I'm finally finding where I fit in in this family. as long as I remember to clean up my room every Friday & keep it semi-tidy during the week & also remember to turn off the floodlights when I come in from school, things seem to stay smoothe.
I should let anyone that doesn't know alreay know that I don't respond to change positively. I haven't my entire life. I mean... like... I would get upset when my mom re-aranged the furniture in the living room.
Also, something weird has happened. I've just taken notice of it recently.
I've gone soft
and I believe it's all John's fault. *smiles*
Before, I had two main emotions:
Positive:+Joy, Happy, hyperness.
Negative:-Depression, lonliness, submission.
I have squishy feelings now! I can ...and how sad is this?.. cry during Disney movies, I feel sad when I watch Mufasa get trampled by the wilderbeasts as his son watches in horror... where as when I first saw the movie in the theatre, I held back a malicious grin.
It's hard to explain... but it's like having 180○ or 360○ degrees of emotion! It's wonderful! I feel fully alive. I feel completely intouch with myself.
This is nothing like any relationship I've ever been in... I don't have the most experience in that dept., but I am the happiest I've even been. Even when I get sad and I miss him terribly, I'm happier than I've been most of my life. I'm geting used to having no drama in my life. I haven't had any major drama since... my last apt. I just feel good today! I feel content, placid, and just good! This could also be due to the fact that I've been taking my meds everyday for almost a week. I want to work hard in my classes, I want to get done with school. I want to get a job & workd hard & earn money, I might be able to get my own place...!
*smiles* my mom is on myspace now. We have internet at the house! That makes me SO happy. Now I won't have to constantly ask ava for hers. I don't like to do that anywys because I love my friends for more than their internet.
I hope you guys know that.
(Well, if you didn't, you do now!)
Ican't wait to see john. I don't think it'll be as akward this time.
Remember girl, You're in love!
I think crittenz will secretly want to hit me with a fish or buttery muffin or something after this post... but *sigh* oh well.
.~(-'*♥*'-)~.hearts & love.~(-'*♥*'-)~.
I should let anyone that doesn't know alreay know that I don't respond to change positively. I haven't my entire life. I mean... like... I would get upset when my mom re-aranged the furniture in the living room.
Also, something weird has happened. I've just taken notice of it recently.
I've gone soft
and I believe it's all John's fault. *smiles*
Before, I had two main emotions:
Positive:+Joy, Happy, hyperness.
Negative:-Depression, lonliness, submission.
I have squishy feelings now! I can ...and how sad is this?.. cry during Disney movies, I feel sad when I watch Mufasa get trampled by the wilderbeasts as his son watches in horror... where as when I first saw the movie in the theatre, I held back a malicious grin.
It's hard to explain... but it's like having 180○ or 360○ degrees of emotion! It's wonderful! I feel fully alive. I feel completely intouch with myself.
This is nothing like any relationship I've ever been in... I don't have the most experience in that dept., but I am the happiest I've even been. Even when I get sad and I miss him terribly, I'm happier than I've been most of my life. I'm geting used to having no drama in my life. I haven't had any major drama since... my last apt. I just feel good today! I feel content, placid, and just good! This could also be due to the fact that I've been taking my meds everyday for almost a week. I want to work hard in my classes, I want to get done with school. I want to get a job & workd hard & earn money, I might be able to get my own place...!
*smiles* my mom is on myspace now. We have internet at the house! That makes me SO happy. Now I won't have to constantly ask ava for hers. I don't like to do that anywys because I love my friends for more than their internet.
I hope you guys know that.
(Well, if you didn't, you do now!)
Ican't wait to see john. I don't think it'll be as akward this time.
Remember girl, You're in love!
I think crittenz will secretly want to hit me with a fish or buttery muffin or something after this post... but *sigh* oh well.
.~(-'*♥*'-)~.hearts & love.~(-'*♥*'-)~.