Book II Chapter 15 : DISSIDENT AGGRESSOR
Arma rubbed her bare arms as the chilly Thursday night air kissed her biceps. Goosebumps crept up her flesh before her body gave a quick spasm. She sneezed and wiped her nose, and her smallest companion found it fit to laugh.
The redhead frowned and turned toward Kali. “Okay, it’s nice to see you take an interest in patrolling, but if you’re not going to be serious about it you might as well go home.”
Kali put her hands behind her neck and waved her elbows at Arma teasingly. “So what’s the deal with your hair, huh? D’ya actually cut your hair after every time you transform? Isn’t that, like, kind of a total waste of time?”
Arma unconsciously reached her hand up to flip her long red hair over her shoulder. “So? It’s better than having a reverse mullet.”
At the sound of Maris snickering by the rooftop’s edge, Kali felt her ears reddening. Her hair just naturally grew into the business-in-back-party-up-front style she, frankly, had really grown to like. Folding her arms, Kali leaned against a chimney and looked over the tightly packed collection of homes. The neighborhood was dark, even with its street lamps, and to her every parked car and tree house looked like a shadowy night crawler. It was tempting to launch an attack at every little thing that moved; earlier in the evening she had nearly electrocuted a small terrier. Had it not been for Arma, who caught her arm at the last second, she could have incinerated the yappy little dog.
Thanks to her inadequacy as a Guardian, Kali had found it difficult to bring Arma down with verbal jabs, but she continued to make the effort. “I’m not really here because I want to be. I just want to see the look on your face when a giant three-headed snake shows up!”
Maris placed her hand gently on the smaller girl’s shoulder. In a low voice, so Arma couldn’t hear, she advised Kali to watch what she said. “You should be aware of two things, kiddo. First of all, when Arma’s got her black uniform on, hair long, and those green stripes on her face… that’s not Arma. That’s the Guardian of War, and she doesn’t screw around.”
Kali watched Arma survey the neighborhood, her eyes focused and clear, and Kali remembered how she had nearly felt the sting of Arma’s sword back when she was known as the rogue Guardian of Thunder. After growing used to Arma in her casual, easy-going everyday appearance, she’d almost forgotten Arma and the Guardian of War were the same entity.
“The second thing you should know,” continued Maris, with a glint in her eye. “Is that only one person can get under Arma’s skin.”
Arma’s eyes flashed and she threw up her hand, startling Kali enough to make her jump. The three remained silent as Arma brought her arm down to examine the cold, foreign object in her hand. “Cola?”
The group watched as Lamia hopped onto their rooftop from a neighboring home, juggling three more drink cans like a leather-clad circus clown. “One for you, one for you, one for me,” she said, tossing Kali and Maris each a can of hot coffee. “I saw a vending machine nearby and thought this would warm us up.”
Maris and Kali thanked her, but Arma was less appreciative. “Wait, why don’t I get a hot drink? Did I piss you off or something?”
Lamia played dumb. “But Arma, it’s your favorite.”
“You know what? Never mind. Forget it. I’ll drink this freezing cold soda on this freezing cold night and-“ As Arma slipped her finger under the ring to open the aluminum can, a geyser of suds erupted from inside, drenching her face with sticky brown liquid. Arma, ashamed of herself for not predicting the outcome of this clichéd prank, squeezed the can so hard it broke into two separate pieces and fell with a click against the rooftop. “Lamia…”
“Yes, Big Red?”
“I’m going to cut you.”
“Where?”
Arma unsheathed her sword from within her hand and raised it over her head, a crazed look in her eye. Kali watched in horror as Maris made no effort to rescue her doomed friend. Arma continued to vent her rage, her grip on Slayer shaking. “I’ll cut off that braid of yours… and I’ll use it to tie you up… and…”
“Ooh, kinky,” Lamia cooed before walking straight up to Arma and presenting her with a small can of hot coffee. “I was only playing around.”
Arma took the coffee and set it by her feet, tapping it with the tip of her sword in case it had been booby-trapped. Carefully, she pierced the top with her weapon and put her hands up just in case it squirted at her.
“There’s no carbonation in coffee, genius,” Lamia said, rolling her eyes.
Maris could tell Arma was tempted to skewer Lamia, so she clapped her hands together trying to calm the two down. “Okay, okay, that’s enough. Arma, here, let me wash your face for you.”
While Maris generated a pool of water in her hands to splash Arma with, Lamia went over to Kali and winked. “She likes it, you know. Total masochist.”
Kali flashed her a quick smile before trying to hide her blush with her hands. “So, um, do you, uh, do you like to patrol?”
“Do I like it? No, not really.” Lamia slid down halfway with her back against the chimney and took a small sip of coffee. “Eww, bitter. Needs milk. Do you want the rest of this?”
Kali looked at the mouth of the can and gulped. “Do you really mean it? I mean, are you cool with that?”
Lamia gave Kali a sideways glance as she handed her the can. “Uh, yeah? I can’t drink this, so here you go.” She handed the near-full can to Kali and stood, stretching her limbs before walking over to stand next to Arma and Maris.
Kali stared down at the can and thought she could make out Lamia’s soft lip prints on the metal surface. An indirect kiss…
She held her breath, raised the warm can to just under her lips, when a sudden trembling from below caused her to release the can. The can rolled down the slanted rooftop and managed to get caught in a rain gutter, with Kali fumbling after it. Kali reached out to grab her second-hand lip lock when a firm hand grabbed her by the leg and pulled her upward. “No!” she shouted, watching from upside-down as another tremor shook the can out of the gutter and over the edge, out of sight.
“Whoa, Kali, you okay?” asked Arma as she lifted Kali to a flatter surface. “That was a close one.”
Kali seethed, but what she had been about to do was so pathetic she didn’t have the courage to tear into Arma. “Thanks a lot!”
Though Arma could hear the sarcasm in her voice, she chose to ignore it. “I have no idea if that was an earthquake or a monster, but we’d better find out fast. Let’s split into pairs-I’ll take the park.”
Lamia nodded. “I’ll make sure the school’s all right.”
Kali raised her hand. “I-I’ll go with you!”
“No, Kali,” said Arma. “Maris will go with Lamia, you’re coming with me.”
Kali folded her arms and growled like a disgruntled mutt. She almost felt like Arma was purposely trying to get on her bad side.
“So this is where you go to school!” remarked Maris as she walked along the school rooftop. “Way bigger than the old school we live in.”
Lamia put her finger to her lips and shushed her companion. “Did you hear something?”
“Nope. We’ve already made a sweep over the campus once, so I think it’s safe to say this area is clear, unless you want to go inside the building…”
“We’d probably set off an alarm if we did that. Just in case, could you go back and double-check the gym and football field?”
Maris gave a playful salute before bounding across the rooftop and disappearing over the gym’s high walls. Lamia took a deep breath and decided to head back toward the front entrance of the school.
When the flagpole peeked over the edge of the school roof, Lamia knew she was nearing the school entrance, but the sound of voices below made her stop dead in her tracks. She held her breath and walked on tiptoes, slowly, until she reached the edge. Getting on her knees, she leaned over and pressed her chin against the side, expecting to find a few kids out past their bedtime. She was wrong.
“Father Sam!” Lamia quickly covered her mouth, though her voice had only been a whisper. She listened carefully as another figure approached the priest, and though she recognized the woman in a white lab coat immediately, she rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t imagining things.
The leaves shook as Arma propped herself against a large cottonwood branch, peering over the heavily wooded park with piercing green eyes. A few branches below her, Kali sulked.
“You look like a goddamn, dirty ape,” she sneered up at Arma. “Get my reference, Dr. Zaius? Like a big redheaded orangutan in the trees.”
Arma was so focused she barely heard the younger Guardian’s insults. “What? Oh yeah, there’s an orangutan at the park zoo. Do you see anything?”
Kali rolled her eyes. “We’d do better if we split up. I’ll take the north end, you can take--” The branch below her suddenly shook as Arma hopped down to her level. “Watch it! I almost fell!”
“I’m not about to let you go off on your own.”
With a groan, Kali slid off the branch and landed on her feet below. “You know, I’ve been a Guardian nearly as long as the rest of you.”
Arma jumped down herself. “Do you really want to go there?”
Kali kicked a fallen branch away. Arma made a good point, and no, she didn’t really want to bring up her time as a solo artist. “Forget it.”
The two remained silent for a while, searching the playground for any signs of unusual activity while trying to keep a respectable distance from each other. Kali thought the whole thing was stupid and wanted to hunt with Lamia instead. With Lamia in mind, Kali sat down on a swing set and watched Arma stand on top of the tallest slide, staring off in the opposite direction.
It was pure assumption, but Kali had a feeling at one point in time Arma and Lamia really did hate each other, but a change in their relationship must have evolved so slowly that the other Guardians hadn’t noticed. But for Kali, who was looking upon the two with fresh eyes, it couldn’t be more obvious that their arguments and bickering were tinted with affection.
Kali jumped off the swing and walked up to the playground equipment. “I got a question for ya.”
Arma nodded her head but kept her gaze away. “Okay. Shoot.”
The younger girl waited before she opened her mouth again, trying to decide if she really wanted to hear the truth or not. “What’s the deal with you and Lamia?”
Arma brought her hand up to her forehead and sighed. “Why is everyone so interested in me and Lamia lately…”
“Come on! You’re fighting one minute, the next you’re BFFs. It’s weird!”
Arma really didn’t know what to say. “It is definitely weird.”
Kali felt sick to her stomach. It was almost like Arma herself hadn’t noticed Lamia’s playful intentions. “Is this an act? Or are you really this retarded?”
Arma frowned. She’d had enough of Kali’s attitude that night. “All right, out with it. What’s your problem?”
“My problem? Seriously? My problem is you, Captain Firecrotch, so get used to it.” Kali stamped her booted foot on the ground and crossed her arms, daring Arma to do her worst.
Arma scratched the back of her head, seemingly unfazed by Kali’s harsh choice of words. “Well yeah, I gathered that much. But if you’d tell me why-“
“You wouldn’t get it!”
Giving up, Arma threw up her arms in defeat. “All right, whatever. Now I gotta put up with you and Lamia…”
Kali walked away from Arma to control her temper, then with quiet resignation she joined Arma on top of the playground equipment with a light-footed hop. She looked up into her leader’s eyes, took a deep breath, and asked, “Do you love her?”
“Do I what?”
“Because if you do… then…” The blond gulped. “Then we’re rivals.”
For a moment, Kali wasn’t sure Arma had even understood the implications. Kali had confessed her feelings in a clear, resolute manner and she now held her breath for Arma’s reaction. She wasn’t afraid of getting teased or told she was being childish, and she wasn’t even afraid of getting hit, but the possibility that Arma would in turn confess she had been harboring feelings for the same woman sent shivers down Kali’s flesh. She knew if Arma felt the same way for Lamia, then she’d be fighting a losing battle.
Arma said nothing.
Anxious for a response, Kali repeated her question, but Arma looked away as if something else had captured her attention. Furious from being ignored, Kali closed her eyes and sent her clenched fist flying toward Arma’s chest. The punch connected with the inside of Arma’s hand, her palm as solid and firm as a brick wall. Arma continued looking out over the distance, her act of self-defense being nothing more than a conditioned reflex.
Kali felt her rage building, her embarrassment only adding to her irritation. She felt like such a child against the much stronger Guardian leader.
“Listen,” Arma spoke at last, her voice calm and cold. “Can you hear it?”
Kali tilted her head to the side and held her breath. Besides the beating of her heart in her eardrums, Kali thought she could hear a very low rumbling sound in the distance. Unable to speak, she merely nodded her head.
Arma brandished her sword and motioned for Kali to follow her. Kali silently obeyed.
“Sam…” pleaded Maya, her Southern accent as sweet as honey. She approached the priest and took his hand into hers. “Why won’t you accept my offer?”
Sam sighed, and Lamia could sense even from her position on the roof that he was far from enraptured by Maya’s natural beauty. “We already have a school nurse. I don’t need another.”
Maya gently played with the sleeves on Sam’s clerical uniform. “You know I’m more qualified.”
“You are, certainly.”
“Is it because you don’t like me?”
Sam chuckled, plucking Maya’s hand from his arm to turn around and lock the front door of the school with his set of keys. “It’s because I don’t see why I should fire a perfectly capable woman just so you can spy on me.”
Lamia held her breath. Why would Maya be interested in spying on Sam? Cautiously, she watched as Maya followed Sam past the flagpole.
“I just want to be able to talk to you, Sam dear. I invite you to tea and you won’t come by. I can’t figure out where you’ve been staying… You’re listed at the partisan but that’s obviously just for appearances.”
Sam opened a leather bag he was carrying and placed the school keys inside. “So you thought you could stalk me at work? Nice try.”
Maya, desperate, grabbed Sam’s arm and forced him to stop walking. “Look at me… Forget the game. Forget the rules, Sam. Just answer me this; do you agree with my sister?”
“What I think doesn’t matter…” he sighed. He was growing tired of Maya’s behavior. “You know that.”
“I do, I know that as well as anyone. And I don’t care if in the end it doesn’t make a difference, I want to know what you think.” Maya reached up and lifted Sam’s glasses from his face, folding the earpieces and sliding them over Sam’s collar. “Please?”
Sam thought a moment before changing the subject. “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Of course, anything, darling. Anything at all!”
Mimicking Maya’s movements, Sam gently lifted her own glasses from her face, letting them hang from her chest by the chain of tiny pearls attached at the rims. “Why do you wear granny glasses?”
Maya laughed, relieved that he had let his sense of humor slip into the conversation. “Well, I am old, you know. Don’t tell me that was your question.”
“No. I wanted to ask you about the Weapon…”
Maya tilted her head to the side. “My Rainbow?”
After studying her face, Sam took a step backward. “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”
She shrugged. “If you don’t mean my staff, than no I don’t. Unless you mean Arma’s sword…”
Lamia noticed a subtle response from Sam at the mention of Arma’s name. The priest brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat. “Not exactly.”
Maya inched closer. “Testament, perhaps?”
Sam looked uncomfortable as her hand caressed his cheek. “I don’t mean my-“
The priest’s words were cut short as Maya suddenly brought his lips down to hers. She kissed him, deeply, before being pushed aside. Though he had been gentle, the look upon her face suggested he had hurt her. “This… This is more than just a game for me, Samael!”
Lamia feared the two below would hear her heartbeat, which was pounding so fast and so hard she thought it would burst through her chest. As if the kiss hadn’t been enough, her partner’s return nearly gave her a heart attack.
“The gym’s all clear!” said Maris as she ran up to Lamia. “Wanna check up on the others?”
Lamia slid down against the rooftop, laying on her side, clutching at her aching chest with one hand and shushing Maris with her other. “Shhh!” she shushed, spit flying.
Confused, Maris hopped over to the edge and peeked over. “Are we playing a game here or something? Spy girls? Fort defenders?”
Lamia clawed her way up and tried to find Sam or Maya, but both had vanished. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she flopped down to the rough surface of the roof again, trying to find a logical explanation for everything she had just seen. There was only one conclusion, though, and she didn’t like what it implied.
With a groan, Kali sat down on the edge of a pool of water and stared up at the naked cherub. Normally a stream of water would be pouring out of its crotch, and she wondered what sort of pedophile dreamed up the commonplace fountain design. “We’ve spent two hours searching for a monster big enough to make earthquakes. Let me be honest with ya; if we haven’t found it by now, it probably doesn’t exist. It’s not like something that big has a lot of options for hiding.”
Arma sat down on a bench and tied her loose shoelaces. “Okay, let’s check the north end one more time and then regroup with Lamia and Maris.”
Convinced this was all a waste of time, Kali turned toward the water and splashed at her own reflection. When she stood up to follow Arma, a small jet of water hit her in the back of the head. She spun around and glared down at the water, surprised to see a snake-like creature staring up at her. It seemed so comfortable in the water Kali thought it could even be an eel. “What are you looking at?”
“Did you say something, Kali?” asked Arma.
“I’m not talking to you!” she shouted back. “There’s an eel or something in the fountain trying to start something with me.”
Arma started for Kali. “Kali, wait…”
But Kali was already feeling around the water for the creature. “Let’s see if you’re an electric eel,” she sneered before sending a quick shock of electricity into the water. The creature disappeared as ripples swept over the water’s surface, the fountain itself shaking so hard cracks had appeared all over the cherub statue. Arma managed to pull Kali out of the way as a huge, slippery object sprung out from the fountain, crushing the fixture and spraying water everywhere.
Kali rolled away from Arma and jumped to her feet, but nearly fell back on her bottom again at the sight before her. A three headed serpent had slithered out from a hole where the fountain had been and darted across the park until it found a circular jungle gym, where it slipped inside.
Arma took out her sword and barked orders at Kali. “Try to get it to come after you! I’ll take it down!”
“What, like I’m a frickin’ fishing lure!?” screamed Kali.
From one of the holes jutted out a giant eel head. Kali jumped back as Arma’s blade sliced it clean of its neck. Another head swooped in, flashing an impressive set of teeth, but Arma avoided the fangs and made her own strike against it.
“Only one head left!” Kali shouted triumphantly. “I got this one!” She poked her head inside one of the holes before quickly withdrawing it. “Holy shit!”
From separate holes, five heads on long necks popped out from within the playground equipment, and Kali had to do a series of backflips to keep away from their whip-like movement.
Arma went to Kali’s side and used her sword to lop off another head. In its place two heads suddenly grew out from the wound. Arma repeated her attack, and for every head she sliced another two would appear. “I haven’t seen anything like this before…”
Kali thought a moment. “Wait, I have! I remember Iris learned about this in school… ever heard of Heracles?”
Arma shook her head.
“It’s an ancient Greek legend about a man named Heracles fighting impossible monsters, and one of those monsters was a hydra. I think this is a hydra!”
Realizing her sword wasn’t doing much damage, Arma had resorted to punching the hydra heads whenever they lashed out against her. “So what did Heracles do to win? Don’t tell me this was a Greek tragedy…”
“He chopped off all the heads and before they grew back he burned the flesh at the base of the neck. You chop, I burn. What do you think?”
The monster withdrew all of its heads at once as the jungle gym started to sway to its side, left and right, until it had freed itself from the sand. The hydra used the jungle gym like a giant ball and started rolling away from the two Guardians.
Arma spotted a basketball court nearby and wasted no time in running over to a goal, using all her strength to lift the large metal pole up and out of the cement. “Kali! I need you to magnetize this pole!”
Kali didn’t have a clue what Arma was thinking. “It’s getting away!”
“Just do it!”
Kali gave in and wrapped her arms around the pole, sending volts of electricity into the metal as her hair frizzed. Arma grabbed the backboard portion of the goal and when Kali let go she swung the pole with a loud grunt.
The pole spun threw the air, the magnetic pull from the jungle gym so strong it caused the basketball goal to pierce one of the large holes of the equipment, acting like a giant brake for the mobile hunk of metal. Kali and Arma ran forward as the confused monster inside struggled to abandon the jungle gym.
Arma was quick; as soon as the monster slithered out she brought down her sword and slashed at the base of every throat. “Kali!”
Kali hopped onto its back and forcefully brought down a bolt of lightning, instantly melting the flesh around the opening. The beast stopped writhing and went limp against the ground.
“Holy… Arma, that actually worked!” Kali was impressed with Arma’s sudden resourcefulness, especially because she’d considered Arma dimwitted. “That was frickin’ awesome!”
Arma smiled. “Yeah?”
Realizing she’d paid Arma a compliment, Kali tried to turn it around, saying, “Yeah, the way its flesh bubbled like that. Frickin’ awesome.”
Arma stared down at the creature and folded her arms. “That’s odd… these things normally turn to oil when they’re killed off.”
The two went quiet, and Kali detected a faint hissing sound. She and Arma walked along the great body before reaching the tip of the tail, where they were surprised to find a much smaller eel head squirming, struggling to drag itself away.
Kali cracked her knuckles. “Well, well, we meet again!” Lifting her boot, Kali used her high heel to stomp down on the tiny eel’s neck, slicing its body away from the larger creature’s body. To her surprise, the eel, which was surprisingly lithe for having no legs, darted between her legs and headed for a nearby drinking fountain.
“Kali, stop it!” shouted Arma, but Kali was too late. The tiny eel slithered into the drain and disappeared.
“Oh my God…” Kali cried, her body shivering in disgust. “I’m only drinking bottled water from now on.”
Arma scratched her head and moved out of the way as the remaining hydra body melted into a black ooze and disappeared under the grass. “I guess the tail was actually the main head. If it doesn’t die, we might have to face another hydra in the near future.”
Kali didn’t seem too concerned. “Yeah, well, we know how to beat it now, right? No problem.” She noticed Arma continued to stare at her without saying anything and felt herself getting annoyed. “What? You mad ‘cuz I let it get away? If you wanna go after it, I won’t stop ya.”
Though she had actually been about to praise Kali for her teamwork, Arma rolled her eyes and sighed. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t regenerate anytime soon. Just in case, though, we’re gonna have to pull an all-nighter.”
“WHAT!?”
“Come on,” said Arma, putting her sword away. “We gotta try to figure out where these pipes lead.”
Kali, who was ready to either go home or meet up with Lamia again, kicked the beat-up jungle gym in frustration until Arma grabbed her by the collar and lead her away, flailing and screaming in protest.