I'm feeling somewhat down
So perhaps wrting my pathetic and overly dramatic thoughts here may help for the time being. Maybe I'll finally be able to get to sleep.
I really want to believe it's impossible, I really want to believe it's all a dream, but I just can't seem to wake up, I just can't seem to turn on the light, one step off the edge and the world will seem all right.
A Letter To God-London After Midnight
Is this life this degradation
this pointless game, humiliation
Born to die, we're born to lose
and not one choice we make we choose
And when this life is at an end
we find that Death's our only friend
Must we suffer through your games, oh Lord?
Can God really be so bored?
We waste our lives destroying, hating,
while beneath our flesh a skull lies waiting
Blind to beauty blind to love,
we fear of our loving Lord above
Some live their lives to play their games,
some live as victims, the insane
Your experiment oh Lord has failed
and I trust that when we meet you will forgive us
It's futile so I'll end this note
and find a knife and slit my throat
and come to track you down oh Lord
you better watch your back,
be sure that when we meet you'll be surprised
no loving praise, no glee filled cries
Just pain and hate and tear filled sighs
and the question in the end is "Why?"
Yeah, I don't know anymore. I'm not sure if this is all worth it, if I;m worth all the resources that have been placed into me. I'm not sure if I can even live up to my own expectations. Can I really become the sword I once saw myself as, to destroy all that obstructs my path? So many doubts lurk within. Times like this makes me wonder if I might need actual professional help.
All this might seem emo, but you know what? Judge me as such, label me all you want, just know that I'm not completely stable and I do know a few was in which to kill other humans, quite painfuly at that. You never know when I'll explode, when I'll lash out before I eliminate my own existance. Just keep that in the back of your head. I've now taken my nightly nyquil, I will go pass out now.
I really want to believe it's impossible, I really want to believe it's all a dream, but I just can't seem to wake up, I just can't seem to turn on the light, one step off the edge and the world will seem all right.
A Letter To God-London After Midnight
Is this life this degradation
this pointless game, humiliation
Born to die, we're born to lose
and not one choice we make we choose
And when this life is at an end
we find that Death's our only friend
Must we suffer through your games, oh Lord?
Can God really be so bored?
We waste our lives destroying, hating,
while beneath our flesh a skull lies waiting
Blind to beauty blind to love,
we fear of our loving Lord above
Some live their lives to play their games,
some live as victims, the insane
Your experiment oh Lord has failed
and I trust that when we meet you will forgive us
It's futile so I'll end this note
and find a knife and slit my throat
and come to track you down oh Lord
you better watch your back,
be sure that when we meet you'll be surprised
no loving praise, no glee filled cries
Just pain and hate and tear filled sighs
and the question in the end is "Why?"
Yeah, I don't know anymore. I'm not sure if this is all worth it, if I;m worth all the resources that have been placed into me. I'm not sure if I can even live up to my own expectations. Can I really become the sword I once saw myself as, to destroy all that obstructs my path? So many doubts lurk within. Times like this makes me wonder if I might need actual professional help.
All this might seem emo, but you know what? Judge me as such, label me all you want, just know that I'm not completely stable and I do know a few was in which to kill other humans, quite painfuly at that. You never know when I'll explode, when I'll lash out before I eliminate my own existance. Just keep that in the back of your head. I've now taken my nightly nyquil, I will go pass out now.