let me go

[fallen_endings]

so i've managed to worry myself sick...literally. i feel pretty pukey, food or not. saturday-i went to aunt becky's...and got drunk. we eventually got home around 1:30 a.m. and there was a couple messages on the answering machine...nothing new. but the last message was zac's mom telling me to call her when i got home. panic starts. not thinking, (possibly because i was drunk) i called his parents and got his dad on the phone. the news wasn't good...at all. after getting off the phone with zac's dad i was so confused and didn't know what i was doing...or going to do. i ended up calling mom around 2...crying uncontrollably. she offered to come get me so i had company, but i told her i didn't want her driving so late at night, so she said she would bring me my old teddy bear the next day. i really needed someone to talk to so i tried calling mindy but she wasn't home. her mom gave me the phone number of where she was at but it didn't work. so i figured the best thing i could do was try and sleep before i got too worked up and did anything stupid...like cut. i eventually feel asleep around 3:30. i haven't heard from zac's parents since, but they said they would call me when they knew more. i don't even know what to think about it all. what are you supposed to think about when you get news like that? i'm trying not to let it get to me too much...trying, but i'm still scared and worried about it. i just want him to be okay...

*i apple you*

*i love you...more than you'll ever know*