Something completely different >.>
I have a lot of Ex-girlfriends.
This is not something I am bragging about, I need to make that part clear at least. This is more of an interpretation of what that means to me.
I would love to say that I learned a little about myself, and people from each one, but that simply isn't true at all. There are some, though, that that is true for. My most recent failure taught me a lot about being honest in a relationship, and how I wish people could figure their shit out before they decided to burden me with it instead.
I am, like I can be when I am dumped, sad, bitter, angry, and depressed over the whole proceedings. the funny thing is, I agree with all her reasoning completely. Gross incompatibility can really gum up the gears of a long term relationship.
But, as it has come to pass, I am an extremely possessive, immature, needy little whelp. She allowed me to become grossly attached to her before deciding that getting rid of me was the right thing to do.
Now for the conundrum. The sex was good. Really good. And neither of us wants to end that part of our relationship. As the one who did the breaking, I am sure she could handle a purely physical relationship. As someone who has actually been given a valid reason, I think I might be able to. But that is the question, isn't it.
I am surely an idiot. But I don't want to lose her friendship, and I worry that if I don't give her the sex, she will go somewhere else, and I can't figure out if the chance for separation issues is harder than having to let go of her for someone else. At least if she isn't actively looking, I can ease my way out of feeling like I own her, but that could be interfered with by the intimacy of the sexual relationship. Cache 22.
Should I just stop speaking to her? It worked with others, aside from the ones who STILL don't speak to me. I won't stop caring about her, she got too wormed into my heart for me to just pretend like I don't care. But is keeping her in my life worth the trouble it could (well, probably inevitably) cause.
This is why life is harder as me. I can't work shit like this out for myself, so I end up doing the one that serves myself the most.
"I see this lasting a long time. I don't want to feel so head over heels so soon, because every time that has happened, it's been trouble. But we are taking things pretty easy. We won't be seeing each other every day, which will probably help. And it makes the time we get together that much more amazing. I have a good feeling that my life is finally on the right track."
I actually said that. Wow. Sometimes, I hate that I write.
This is not something I am bragging about, I need to make that part clear at least. This is more of an interpretation of what that means to me.
I would love to say that I learned a little about myself, and people from each one, but that simply isn't true at all. There are some, though, that that is true for. My most recent failure taught me a lot about being honest in a relationship, and how I wish people could figure their shit out before they decided to burden me with it instead.
I am, like I can be when I am dumped, sad, bitter, angry, and depressed over the whole proceedings. the funny thing is, I agree with all her reasoning completely. Gross incompatibility can really gum up the gears of a long term relationship.
But, as it has come to pass, I am an extremely possessive, immature, needy little whelp. She allowed me to become grossly attached to her before deciding that getting rid of me was the right thing to do.
Now for the conundrum. The sex was good. Really good. And neither of us wants to end that part of our relationship. As the one who did the breaking, I am sure she could handle a purely physical relationship. As someone who has actually been given a valid reason, I think I might be able to. But that is the question, isn't it.
I am surely an idiot. But I don't want to lose her friendship, and I worry that if I don't give her the sex, she will go somewhere else, and I can't figure out if the chance for separation issues is harder than having to let go of her for someone else. At least if she isn't actively looking, I can ease my way out of feeling like I own her, but that could be interfered with by the intimacy of the sexual relationship. Cache 22.
Should I just stop speaking to her? It worked with others, aside from the ones who STILL don't speak to me. I won't stop caring about her, she got too wormed into my heart for me to just pretend like I don't care. But is keeping her in my life worth the trouble it could (well, probably inevitably) cause.
This is why life is harder as me. I can't work shit like this out for myself, so I end up doing the one that serves myself the most.
"I see this lasting a long time. I don't want to feel so head over heels so soon, because every time that has happened, it's been trouble. But we are taking things pretty easy. We won't be seeing each other every day, which will probably help. And it makes the time we get together that much more amazing. I have a good feeling that my life is finally on the right track."
I actually said that. Wow. Sometimes, I hate that I write.