Into the Darkness, a Dean/Cas ficlet
Title: Into the Darkness
Pairting: Cas/Dean
Rating: I guess PG just because of a tiny mention of Hell
Word count: 620
There are things I never told Dean. Like the year we actually spent in hell. Burning, pain, wings torn and battered. Every day it was the same.
“You must come with me. I am here to raise you from perdition.”
“Angel, my answer ain’t changing. I got work here.” As you severed flash from bone.
“My question will never go unasked. My reminders will never not be spoken. Your brother Sam. He needs you. He drinks Demon Blood and soon will face decisions only you can help with. The world, it needs you. You have a higher purpose.”
“My purpose is right here, making this bitch scream. Angel, go home.”
“I will return tomorrow.”
Each day it was the same until the cracks began to show. Your eyes would have slow recognition of Sam, what he meant. The cutting would stop for a second while you were in and out of true form and consciousness.
Until one day I broke through. You screamed, oh how you screamed. Fear, torment, pain, longing. I gripped you tight. I knew I was leaving a mark, but I knew we must hurry or you would be broken and no one would be able to save you.
We ascended like divers in danger from the depths. Higher and higher. When we reached the top I began rebuilding you. Piece I piece. I know you Dean. Even now, the God I am I know you. Every cell beats in my own two hands.
I have but to snap now and they would all fall away. I have but to blink and to hell I could return you. To your forty years, of you would last that long. If they even gave you that chance.
I never told you of nights when I smoothed your hair, invisible. Only the slightest race of feeling. You would never know I was there. Many you woke, rubbing your face, confused. Many
I heard my name, but I never appeared. It was better that way.
Then there was my return to heaven. When my allegiance was questioned. The horrors you saw in hell may compare to what I faced. Heaven’s wrath is terrible and absolute. I know now. Now I cause it. I learned from the best. Zachariah, Raphael…Would you face that for me? I long to ask you.
I hold you in my grasp. I would rule you with kindness, with mercy, with love. Despite all you did. Despite ingratitude, failure, and pain. Still I would forgive. I come at night, silent as a lamb and hold that heart in my hand. Feel its smooth flesh and varying beats. Feel it when you say my name from a darkened dream.
I enter your head and make them bright. With my hands running over your back under the sun of my corner of Heaven. I share that with you.
So many things you will never know Dean Winchester. We stare at each other across this darkened room. You think you have trapped me. I let you. Those eyes, green and blank. I see through them down to your core and back. Loathing, disgust…things I cannot bear from my favorite in all creation.
I raise my hand, and in and instant I feel myself falling, falling through stars and clouds, through endless air and space until I hit concrete.
You will never know these things because I no longer have a mouth to speak them. I let them go and without that power I am nothing but Castiel. A damaged version, a forgotten version.
Still, as you help me, carry me, nurse me, I know. I will stay with you. It is your turn to raise me. It just wasn’t fast enough.
Pairting: Cas/Dean
Rating: I guess PG just because of a tiny mention of Hell
Word count: 620
There are things I never told Dean. Like the year we actually spent in hell. Burning, pain, wings torn and battered. Every day it was the same.
“You must come with me. I am here to raise you from perdition.”
“Angel, my answer ain’t changing. I got work here.” As you severed flash from bone.
“My question will never go unasked. My reminders will never not be spoken. Your brother Sam. He needs you. He drinks Demon Blood and soon will face decisions only you can help with. The world, it needs you. You have a higher purpose.”
“My purpose is right here, making this bitch scream. Angel, go home.”
“I will return tomorrow.”
Each day it was the same until the cracks began to show. Your eyes would have slow recognition of Sam, what he meant. The cutting would stop for a second while you were in and out of true form and consciousness.
Until one day I broke through. You screamed, oh how you screamed. Fear, torment, pain, longing. I gripped you tight. I knew I was leaving a mark, but I knew we must hurry or you would be broken and no one would be able to save you.
We ascended like divers in danger from the depths. Higher and higher. When we reached the top I began rebuilding you. Piece I piece. I know you Dean. Even now, the God I am I know you. Every cell beats in my own two hands.
I have but to snap now and they would all fall away. I have but to blink and to hell I could return you. To your forty years, of you would last that long. If they even gave you that chance.
I never told you of nights when I smoothed your hair, invisible. Only the slightest race of feeling. You would never know I was there. Many you woke, rubbing your face, confused. Many
I heard my name, but I never appeared. It was better that way.
Then there was my return to heaven. When my allegiance was questioned. The horrors you saw in hell may compare to what I faced. Heaven’s wrath is terrible and absolute. I know now. Now I cause it. I learned from the best. Zachariah, Raphael…Would you face that for me? I long to ask you.
I hold you in my grasp. I would rule you with kindness, with mercy, with love. Despite all you did. Despite ingratitude, failure, and pain. Still I would forgive. I come at night, silent as a lamb and hold that heart in my hand. Feel its smooth flesh and varying beats. Feel it when you say my name from a darkened dream.
I enter your head and make them bright. With my hands running over your back under the sun of my corner of Heaven. I share that with you.
So many things you will never know Dean Winchester. We stare at each other across this darkened room. You think you have trapped me. I let you. Those eyes, green and blank. I see through them down to your core and back. Loathing, disgust…things I cannot bear from my favorite in all creation.
I raise my hand, and in and instant I feel myself falling, falling through stars and clouds, through endless air and space until I hit concrete.
You will never know these things because I no longer have a mouth to speak them. I let them go and without that power I am nothing but Castiel. A damaged version, a forgotten version.
Still, as you help me, carry me, nurse me, I know. I will stay with you. It is your turn to raise me. It just wasn’t fast enough.