(no subject)
I have been not alright. Trying to keep myself from thinking. Distracting. Hoping and wishing for something I could love. I wanted to give away all of my doubts and let ignorance keep me in a state I didn't hate.
I struggled to make a difference between right and wrong. I let the line blur and gave it more room. No matter how hard I tried, It just kept making a home in the corner of my mind. Watching, waiting for some kind of miracle. Finally I let it take what little peace I had and traded it for a feeling that didn't ever really go away. With time I soon made peace with the pain and let it start seeping out of the cracks in the lines of my tear dried eyes.
Forgiving nothing and letting it rise up and die down with simmering understanding. That nothing should be forgiven until words were clear with regret.
Turning away and back within a'second. Mind made up. Done, Over and Never to be drawn upon at a later date.
Everything I do is my consequence through actions prevailing around you, you think you know all my reasons for everything I do, But you still have no clue.
After all the digging, The aftermath, all around you, This constant fear of never really knowing why. My mind is lost, I can only find little pieces, broken up upon everything I thought I knew.
Everything inside of me , begs me not to go, to stay where it's familiar with all the things I know. IT has everything, It wants everything I need. My mind is slowly going, like a candle slowly giving out
Everything inside of me
Unfamiliar surroundings. People I don't know. I'm broken inside. Lock the door. Throw all my regret aside. Do you think, you can break in, make me , take me away from all this..
my mind, body , soul are broken. Pieces of me still Reside in a dark opening inside my mind
I wish I could make everything ok . In my mind, I've seen the things that make you what I am today, falling closely to the edge of emptiness.
I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm sorry if I didn't make sure that all things going through your mind were the right ones.
You think you know everything. You think you can make me change my mind, everything is so unmovable. Lust is your desire to all and every choice you've made lost in a darkened hallway, breaking into a run trying to find a way out of all this despair I keep finding my self drowning in.
Provision of illusion;
cast aside glances and forgotten words.
Years have passed and living in me , is my despair for love.
Give me something to hold onto as my eyes and mind start to give out. Love is not something I want, at least not right now.
My mind is not open to the idea of you making my problems disappear.
IN all the time it took to just get this far, I've only learned of what love was worth to you
I am sorry for the choices I made.
My only excuse to use for those times of lust, is my own selfish need for a love that doesn't betray.
I struggled to make a difference between right and wrong. I let the line blur and gave it more room. No matter how hard I tried, It just kept making a home in the corner of my mind. Watching, waiting for some kind of miracle. Finally I let it take what little peace I had and traded it for a feeling that didn't ever really go away. With time I soon made peace with the pain and let it start seeping out of the cracks in the lines of my tear dried eyes.
Forgiving nothing and letting it rise up and die down with simmering understanding. That nothing should be forgiven until words were clear with regret.
Turning away and back within a'second. Mind made up. Done, Over and Never to be drawn upon at a later date.
Everything I do is my consequence through actions prevailing around you, you think you know all my reasons for everything I do, But you still have no clue.
After all the digging, The aftermath, all around you, This constant fear of never really knowing why. My mind is lost, I can only find little pieces, broken up upon everything I thought I knew.
Everything inside of me , begs me not to go, to stay where it's familiar with all the things I know. IT has everything, It wants everything I need. My mind is slowly going, like a candle slowly giving out
Everything inside of me
Unfamiliar surroundings. People I don't know. I'm broken inside. Lock the door. Throw all my regret aside. Do you think, you can break in, make me , take me away from all this..
my mind, body , soul are broken. Pieces of me still Reside in a dark opening inside my mind
I wish I could make everything ok . In my mind, I've seen the things that make you what I am today, falling closely to the edge of emptiness.
I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm sorry if I didn't make sure that all things going through your mind were the right ones.
You think you know everything. You think you can make me change my mind, everything is so unmovable. Lust is your desire to all and every choice you've made lost in a darkened hallway, breaking into a run trying to find a way out of all this despair I keep finding my self drowning in.
Provision of illusion;
cast aside glances and forgotten words.
Years have passed and living in me , is my despair for love.
Give me something to hold onto as my eyes and mind start to give out. Love is not something I want, at least not right now.
My mind is not open to the idea of you making my problems disappear.
IN all the time it took to just get this far, I've only learned of what love was worth to you
I am sorry for the choices I made.
My only excuse to use for those times of lust, is my own selfish need for a love that doesn't betray.