(no subject)
It's coming, a year since the break. A year since I changed yet again. A year's penance, paying for things I did not do and yet knew that no one else would ever take responsibility for.
I saw Pat last night at the Enormous Room in Cambridge. Pat, who was such a minor player and yet was a player nonetheless. He saw me, I saw him. We stared at each other from across the room and then he made for the exit with haste. I don't know what he thought, maybe he was wondering just who I was from some ambiguous memories he was trying to conjure; but I know what I was thinking: hurt him for having a hand in hurting you.
Vengeance will eat a man from his insides, digesting that which does your own digesting, until you are but skin laid on bones fueled only by your hatred. God help me, I have so much to love and so much to hate and they burn inside of me.
I am lonely and can blame no one for wanting to keep their distance.
I saw Pat last night at the Enormous Room in Cambridge. Pat, who was such a minor player and yet was a player nonetheless. He saw me, I saw him. We stared at each other from across the room and then he made for the exit with haste. I don't know what he thought, maybe he was wondering just who I was from some ambiguous memories he was trying to conjure; but I know what I was thinking: hurt him for having a hand in hurting you.
Vengeance will eat a man from his insides, digesting that which does your own digesting, until you are but skin laid on bones fueled only by your hatred. God help me, I have so much to love and so much to hate and they burn inside of me.
I am lonely and can blame no one for wanting to keep their distance.