[for daniel] there are times when I catch in the silence the sigh of a faraway song

[fallen_ancient]

[dated late afternoon 7/17]The sounds of the river, cool despite the day's heat, masked those of human passage. Voices carried above the pleasant trickle and burble, but heavier sounds, weighty ones like the tread of feet passed unnoticed

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[fallen_ancient]

"So there are," Morgan agreed evenly, more even than Daniel knew, since the phoneme okay had meanings in languages he did not know existed. At least, he did not know anymore.

Her fingers clenched beneath the surface of the water at that thought. There was one other person on the island who might understand completely who she had been and help her retain that...and he had lost it before she did. It was hardly fair to hold that against Daniel, but she did occasionally wish to scream at him, or perhaps simply to scream. The fall had not cured her of that, even if it had made her far more comfortable in this body.

"That's kind of you." Morgan forcibly added the contractions that came so easily with Cameron and Jill, partly to show him she could do this. "As you might imagine, it's not easy. But Cameron is very helpful. Jill and Teyla, as well."

Of the hut, she simply shrugged, a small smile curving her lips. "At present, I have no plans for a hut of my own. If Cameron wishes me to move, he hasn't said." That they shared a bed was not Daniel's concern unless Cameron felt it important for him to know.

[theunascended]

Daniel flushed a little. "If you can believe it, it took me a little while to realize that you two looked alike." When you were meeting people, the fact that they looked like an Ancient that you'd met once usually didn't figure into the equation. And they had met just the once.

"Oh."

That was the tiniest bit odd, but he would have done it for Vala or Sam if they'd really needed it. But not for as long as she'd seemed to imply.

[fallen_ancient]

Morgan walked toward the back, hand extended toward the batik sarong. "Would you hand me the wrap on the rock there?"

That Daniel had not recognized her clone she did not surprise her. "In your recollection, we met only once. And in my energetic form, the resemblance would not have been so exact," she said, dismissing his concerns.

"Our mannerisms are also quite different, though I find I like her very well."

[theunascended]

"And I wouldn't remember your Ascended form," he pointed out. "I only remember bits and pieces from that. Not even a day, total, for an entire year's worth of missing memory."

He handed her the requested garment.

"Jill? She's nice. Smart, though it's not my field. She'd probably have more in common with Carolyn than with me."

[fallen_ancient]

Coming up out of the water, Morgan neatly tied the sarong around her waist. It still left her abdomen bare, which felt peculiar when speaking to Daniel, but she let none of it show on her face.

"You know why that is, of course." She smiled apologetically, her sympathy unfeigned and enduring. Despite her frustration with Daniel's condition, her regret of it was not purely selfish. "I don't suppose it matters now, but I did not approve the decision. The Others would not risk another Merlin and my objections went unheard."

Of Jill, she would say only, "Our resemblance made cordial manners desirable, but my liking of her runs deeper than that."

[theunascended]

"Not really. Like I said, I don't remember. Mostly I remember the things that I needed to save my friends and even then it was almost too late. I could do translations of certain languages if I didn't think too hard about it. I must have done something, but I don't know what."

He shrugged at her. Not like it mattered much now.

[fallen_ancient]

"You wouldn't accept that you could not interfere." Perhaps she should not reveal what she knew, but she could not imagine any harm would come of it. "Oma de Sala overstepped in assisting you to Ascend; it was believed you were not ready."

There was more, of course, but that would require exposing more of the Ascended than the Others would tolerate when she returned.

[theunascended]

Daniel smiled a little. "Sounds like me. What use is there in being a higher power if you can't step in and make things right. Especially when the person you're going up against is partially Ascended himself." Which meant that the odds were already in his favor.

[fallen_ancient]

"So I also believed, Daniel," Morgan answered quietly but with an almost fond smile of remembrance for how he had argued with her, both above and below. "I have known since Arthur's time, the day would come when I did as Oma had." Her smile broadened to include Daniel here and now. Whatever she felt, she did not blame Daniel for her choices. "I'd intended to wait until I could be certain of the impact, but your need was great and your passion persuasive."

[theunascended]

"I wasn't there for that, either," Daniel said, shaking his head. "I've apparently missed a lot of things." He didn't mention that the last he remembered of her, the only thing that he remembered of her, was her trying and failing to be much help. They'd gotten a general answer, but nothing specific.

[fallen_ancient]

Morgan settled on the rock where her wrap had been, studying him. "So you have said." She had not forgotten what Cameron had told her of when in time Daniel came from. "If you wish to know, I will tell you." For Daniel, she would even speak of her Exile.

[theunascended]

Daniel hesitated, taking a deep breath and buying himself some time to think about it. Finally, he shook his head. "That might not be a good idea. Mitchell told me that everyone makes it out all right, which is the only thing I really needed to hear." His friends were safe and alive and that was what had worried him those first few months.

[fallen_ancient]

"As you wish, Daniel." Did he give her the chance, she would at least have explained, but he did not seem to care. Much as she wished to have his respect, she felt no need to justify herself.

After a moment, she glanced at him. "It is difficult for me, that I know you so well and you know me not at all. I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable, as well."

[theunascended]

"Morgan, it's nothing against you personally, but..." They'd had issues with people who'd been Ascended. And she knew that, so he didn't think he needed to voice the sentiment. "That's difficult for me to get past. Even Oma." Even Oma had her flaws. Even she'd made monumental mistakes. And paid for them.

He sighed.

"And maybe that you know me and I don't remember that at all. I'm always uneasy about that missing year."

[fallen_ancient]

"It is difficult not to take it personally," she admitted, though with nothing of accusation, only confession, in her tone. "When it is no exaggeration to say that my life spun out as it did because of the qualities I admired in you."

Her fingers went to the knot in her sarong, tugging at it needlessly. "It might ease you to know that the missing year, as it seems to you, passed differently than those you know as a corporeal person. You were not permitted to keep much of what you learned, but I hope you will trust that I tell you the truth when I say you lost little or nothing of your life." Morgan pressed her lips together into a thin frown. "This is difficult to explain. But imagine a beam of light, and try to slice a piece out of it. It remains unchanged in its fundamental nature. That is the best I can do."

Inclining her head in a simple nod, Morgan sighed softly. "As for the other, there is little I can do to help that. But you have lived more than a year here, have a life I know nothing of, and though I possess my memories, I am, as you've observed, human now and so not the same. Perhaps... perhaps we may begin again, and let what has passed between us serve only as a reason to try?"

[theunascended]

"No. You're right. I just had to leave two friends dying in a slave pit. And I just had to let an entire planet die. An entire planet of friends and family. People I'd planned on spending the rest of my life with. And I couldn't even bring with me the knowledge that Anubis was Ascended. And those are only the things I know about because of the other people at the SGC."

Daniel ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"I'm not saying it's your fault. I just need some time."

About beginning again, he wasn't sure they could. As far as he was concerned, they were at the beginning.