Birth in the death - ToraxSaga - Ch5/8
Title: Birth in the death
Chapters: 5/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to xme_chanx for beta reading :3
Chapter 5: A small side story: A soul's fairytale...
Our story began on a clear night, one of those evenings that the starts burn so brightly in the sky that you can count them one by one. A night of those that it's believed that wishes will come true if your eyes catch a shooting star, leaving it's last breath in the darkness. Shou was under that sky, his breath one with the wind and his heartbeat synchronized with the steps on the old pavement, slow and kind of melancholic, he could say. He could hear the blurry whispers about rain to come, he could sense the cold in his fingertips, another needle sinking in his skin and just a small pinch of low temperature, no pain. He was not exactly there, but at the same time he was, flowing along with dust and time as he traveled around in seconds, letting his instinct lead him to the next soul he should collect.
And then he heard it, a howling scream piercing his ears all over, reaching his soul and ripping it apart. He stopped in a corner of a small alley, looking at it's end, at a house with no lights. He gasped. Whatever was what he felt, it hurt. It really hurt. So freaking much that tears started falling from his eyes, unable to keep them. In a flash of moments, the blond reaper was outside of that house. The pain inside him was worse than before, and that feeling... so... so sad... Shou strode front because right then he knew what his next job was, though something felt a little different.
He slowly stepped on a path with no doors as obstacles, a path signed by pieces of broken glass, furniture messed up and drops of blood. Shou winced. He moved towards the kitchen, where the smell of blood was bolder and he could feel a strong negative aura, massive hate nestling around it's evil nest. A small figure was there, curled in miserably in a ball. Though it was not just a pile of meat, it had been treated like one. Such a poor thing... Because surely, that young man on the floor, no more than 18 years old, was a beautiful and graced creature, before this. This atrocity. No matter the violet bruises, that skin was still pale and smooth under them, still standing out in the cheap wounds. Those bloody red lips were well-shaped and those closed eyes, covered by wet strands of bleached hair, would be probably be bright and energetic... If the boy was still alive...
Shou took a disgusted expression for the bastard who did this. “Poor soul...” he whispered, feeling the wrath around sneaking inside him. “But it's all over now, over...” he tried to sooth the cold body, feeling tears again on his cheek. Moments like that were the ones that made him curse his eternal life and all the gifts with it. The fact that he was delivering lives that went to waste, but he couldn't just... save them...
“You'll go in a better place, you hear me?” Shou's voice was broken as he took his gloves off and touched the boy's frail hand. “A small touch and-”
He froze, eyes widening in fear. Nothing happened. The skin was untouched and there was no shade holding his hand. Shou looked around in worry, ears stretching to hear sounds that humans couldn't. That was impossible! He was sure that no reaper was there before him, he would feel it! But then, he couldn't deny what he was witnessing in that room either. A body with no soul attached.
“That can't be happening...” Shou shook his head in disbelief. Yet it was happening, for the first time right in front of his eyes. Tired hands rubbed his forehead, he needed to put things in order. “No...” he repeated in denial. There are no soulless bodies, and a sould can't detach itself on it's own... What... What the hell is this...” he whispered weakly, looking at the corpse.
“That's what I wander too...”
A new voice, echoing young and pretty scared. Shocked. There was no need for Shou to turn and look, the sound of that voice was enough to feel the fear, the confusion that was devouring that person, him and the last bits of sanity that were about to disappear. But he did, none the less. And right behind him, in a really feint shade of trespassing gray, he was. An identical image of the boy on the floor, only with the wounds missing, all those scars that were trying to make him ugly with no success.
“You...” a phrase that was never completed.
Right then, for the first time in his unending life, a reaper was witnessing the impossible to happen. A soul cutting connection with the body on it's own. The more he was watching the spirit, the more Shou was getting confused.
“How did that-”
“Shut up!”
Terror. Fear. Horror. So many words to describe the same feeling and at the same time none of them was enough to do it. Words were so poor in front of what Shou was witnessing inside those eyes. Rage and feelings primal, wild.
The boy stepped back, plopping on the floor in a corner, his fragile hands cupping his knees protectively as he was moving back and forth. Back and forth. A never ending, cursed dance.
“I am dead, aren't I?” he mumbled, mostly to himself, those once beautiful eyes being locked somewhere blankly. And suddenly he jerked his head towards Shou's direction, right inside his widened brown orbs.
“Did you do this ti me? Have I ever done anything to deserve this?” eyes hurt, with endless wander inside them, mirroring his hesitation. “I was not... a bad person... Was I?”
Rage that was fired up again, mixed with many more emotions that the reaper couldn't recognize.
“Who did this to me!” He screamed though no one could hear him anymore, except that tall man in the dark coat, standing across to him. Shou looked at him sadly.
“I didn't do this to you...” he said softly, wandering inwardly if it was safe to step closer to the boy. “Don't you remember anything?”
The boy blinked, finally realizing something in the mist of his confusion. “You... you can see me, right? You are the only one who heard me...” he gulped, his bleached head shaking in denial as he looked at the taller. He wanted to prove to himself that his assumptions were wrong, but this was the only way that everything made sense. “You are here to take me, right?”
Lips trembling from a mad laugh, so inhuman and scary. And there was Shou, a man who had confronted people denying their death before, yet he was numb this time, trapped between so many feelings overflowing from the boy and a past he was hesitant to hear about.
“Please calm down...” his voice sounding like angelic melody, so frightening beautiful, making the boy hush and stop everything, standing like a beautiful statue. Shou smiled encouragingly, his mind working to find the right words.
“First things first...” he sighed, making a daring step front. “You remember nothing about your life? What your name is?”
Full lips were pursed and brown eyes closed shut as memories were recalled from the back of his mind. He was 17 years old... or not... Oh yes! He was a student, yes! He remembered a couple of friends and that... he licked his lips. Family. Family would be easier to remember. His mother was... a nurse? Huh, she was working in a big building close to their house and... His eyes widened as he couldn't remember the address. In fact, he couldn't remember anything more. Just some blur facts and again, he was not sure if those were fragments of his memory or random facts his mind created for defense. The book of his life had pages ripped off. There was no past, no important event, no friends, family or anyone important to him. No childhood memories. Not even a-
“Name!” he screamed shocked. “I don't have a name!”
“Please relax!” Shou almost pleaded, for the first time after so many years feeling panick to surround him. “Please calm down, please...” His voice was low and sad, withering away in the emptiness of the house. “Everyone has a name...” he said lowly as he leaned down, sitting next to the boy. “A unique, precious name that we always carry on. A name that tells our story...” He licked his lips, focusing to find a solution. “Please, close your eyes and calm down, you are safe with me and nothing will harm you anymore...” He huffed in desperation as the boy's eyes were not focused at him and it was natural. He sighed, shifting in front of the boy, so that he could not witness the blood scene in the kitchen.
“You cannot do something about it anymore, but you can live a better life where I'll take you to...” he smiled weakly. “Let me help you, okay? Close your eyes and bring as many memories as you can in your mind...”
The boy nodded, long lashes kissing his cheek as he tried to bring a memory back. A nice memory... There he was, in first grade, learning his first words. His teacher was kind and sweet, though there was no face behind his eyes. She was walking along the desks, checking every child and correcting when needed. His school uniform was clean and smelled nice, lilies, his mother's favorite. His hair were perfectly combed after many tries, because of their wild nature. He was using a blue pencil with small planes on it, his tongue darting out as he was struggling to keep the lines straight. He was sighing disappointed, when a shadow appeared behind him. Her shadow.
'Well done!” the teacher said with sugar-sweet voice, her finger trailing the letters. “Let's read it together, ne?”
The boy nodded shyly, leaning on the lines and spelling slowly.
Hi... ro...
“Hiroto!” the spirit of the young man shouted and jumped back in reality, slowly calming down again. “Hiroto...” he repeated calmer this time. “My name is Hiroto...” Tears were dripping uncontrollably from his eyes, something he couldn't really feel on his cheek. But couldn't stop either. There was something he could feel though, and that was the pain inside him.
“Was it nice?” Shou asked softly. Knowing well what the boy was passing through. “Was it a nice memory?”
The boy nodded, lips trembling and eyes tearing up faster. “It was sweet and I could feel how happy I was... My growling stomach as I was happy, I could even hear the voices clearly!” The spirit leaned closer, searching for an answer. “Is it always like that?” he asked in a mere whisper. “All memories and feelings, will they be like that now that I am...” a knot stopped in his throat. “dead?”
“Yes...” Shou's hand was clenched on his knee for strength. “Your senses are multiplied now, since there is no body to frame them. That also means that you can't touch objects, but with the right amount of spiritual energy, you can-”
He gasped as his pale hand passed through Hiroto's one. New wanders and questions. First, a body without a soul, then memories detached and right then this... A reaper unable to do his work and touch a soul!
“Wh-” he stopped, or better, the boy's big, brown eyes made him stop. He had suffered enough for one day, there was no need for more worries for him. “You'll see when time comes...” Shou averted his eyes , hiding the worry he had along with his wanders. “Any other memories?” he changed the subject. “Did anything come back?”
The boy shook his head, eyes focusing on the floor as hands were lacing fingers nervously. “Where you'll take me... Is it really better from here?” he asked, voice hurt as it trembled weakly in an attempt to remain calm. Shou sighed, his naturally wide eyes blinking repeatedly as he leaned closer, judging that he had earned enough trust from the boy to do so.
“I've seen not much, just what I am allowed to from the main Hade's gates but...” he closed his eyes, recalling images. “It is like a normal town but greener, with no cars or pollution... People seem happy there, smiling and talking, having fun and no problems to trouble them...” He breathed in a somewhat homesick tone, though he was just lost in thoughts. There were many things to do and discuss, such as the water of oblivion, but there was still time for this. “Do you know what's better than talking? Seeing with your own eyes!” Shou smiled softly and stood up. “Are you ready?”
Was he, really? The boy didn't know. He was not even sure if he could trust that so called reaper, but he had nothing to lose. He was dead anyway. With a small huff the boy stood up, following the man with the same rapid speed, till nothing of them was left in the house...
*****
Time was passing through, though Hiroto was not in a state to know if it was mere seconds that he was waiting there or mere years. He was in a place that time was flowing differently, after all. According to him it seemed that a couple of hours had passed, with him waiting inside that building of stone, huge and depressing, like a mausoleum. He wandered what took Shou that long, if even the underworld had such bad bureaucracy! This shouldn't be so hard... He was... dead! How the hell could a corpse be troublesome? Well, at least in his case... Though Shou seemed so confused with him.
He was supposed to enter in some kind of promise land, to laugh and live happily there, away from hardships and sadness. Not that he remembered any of it but... He sighed, looking on the tall ceiling, so tall that he could hardly discern it's end, among the shadows. Whatever the case, he was not supposed to wait! He didn't want to worry beforehand, but he couldn't help it. A feeling that only became stronger as he finally faces Shou walking out with a small bow.
Eyes darkened and wide in shock, lips ready to gape open, a sight sad, locked on the floor, like he was afraid to face Hiroto again. And maybe he was right to be, because the moment he did, Hiroto could see guilt and remorse trapped inside those brown orbs, almost watery. And then anger. In small yet bold bits, feint but existing.
“W-What happened?” Hiroto's voice was low, as he was afraid to ask about something he already knew. Shou never answered, his hand was just raised up in an attempt to grab the boy's small shoulder, only to remember that he couldn't do it. He snapped, pulling it back instantly and biting his lips, like he had tasted poison.
“Let's go...” he said finally with an unreadable sound in his voice.
“But why? Shouldn't I-”
“Just come!” That tone was completely new in Shou's voice. Hiroto looked up surprised, but he obeyed none the less. He stood up, following the taller man out of the mausoleum-looking building, walking through small alleys. Hiroto didn't need to be a genius to know that something went wrong. There was that expression on the reaper's features, great anger and disappointment.
“Can't you just tell me why I can't get in Hades, at least?”
Shou calmed down the moment his eyes fell on the boy, adopting that sad expression again. And it was a shame, Hiroto thought, for those eyes were getting ugly... The taller man sighed, sucking as much air as he could in his lungs.
“You really can't remember what happened before you died, right?” And those beautiful orbs gleamed again in hope, in hope that the boy was still hiding something for his own reasons.
“There is no reason for me to lie about that, is it?” He snapped back, feeling a little offended by the question, something that Shou saw right away, biting his lips in regret.
“I apologize...” he mumbled, looking up in the sky to take some courage. “You know, there is a story that we, reapers, used to know from the earliest years on earth. A tale about some... special souls... Though I would never believe that it could be true...” He sighed again, feeling a weight nestling in his chest as he waved to the other to keep moving, turning right at a small road.
“When a soul travels on earth, it finds a vessel, a body, and spends years to live, love, find true happiness and then die, when fate chooses it. Everything the sould experiences is stored in memories, events and little moments that someone has in his life. Things that keep the soul strong during all that time...” He paused a little, checking if Hiroto was keeping up with the story. The boy just nodded impatiently and the reaper moved on.
“People also have bad experiences, such as accidents or losing someone beloved...” his words trailed off, not having the strength to name even worse things that could be a torture for a soul and it's vessel. “No matter the circumstances, some souls overcome the damage and some not. Those last ones get scarred, letting the pain cracking them little by little, in a desperate action to protect what's left...”
Hiroto was just nodding, connecting slowly the puzzle pieces and struggling to remember, to asure himself that he had memories, that Shou was just randomly telling him that story. But he only thing he was finding were pages ripped off, paragraphs stained with ink. Shou could see the fear and worry in the young man's features, but the only thing he could do was to finish what he started.
“When you take a stone and hit an already damaged window, the glass cracks more, the old wounds getting bigger. If you keep doing that, then at a critical point the glass will be shred to pieces and the window will break completely...” He gave a bitter smile. “Souls are like this too, you know... At a final attempt to protect what is left the soul breaks apart, it's pieces scattering around. Pieces connected to memories...” Shou took a big breath, fighting his hesitation as he faces the boy with courage. “You are a broken soul, that's how we call them... Incomplete... More like spirits trapped on earth, ghosts as people know them. Broken souls are supposed to be destroyed, only remnants of what a real soul used to be. That's why Lord can't accept you in Hades...”
Words, words, words. Just stupid letters in order, making syllables with sound. That was what everything the reaper talked about was to him right then. Beautiful, well-said bullshit! Bullshit from a person who couldn't die.
“So that's it?” the dead boy asked weakly, eyes still frozen from shock. “Was that the nice, fair place you would take me to?” he shook his head. “Thank you greatly! Now I know that I am completely useless and with no home to go to!”
“I was trying to help you!” Shou snapped back, feeling his guilt devouring him. “I am not making the rules! If I was in charge-”
“You'd do the same...” Hiroto mumbled, visible anger glowing in his eyes. “You'd do the same!” he screamed, somewhere inside him hoping that he could be heard from all the reapers around and even Lord himself. “What am I after all? A garbage, right?” he bit his lip, trying to fight back a piercing pain with unknown source. “I was born and I stepped on this world, I probably made friends and I fell in love. I experienced pain, great pain as you say, and maybe the only hope I had to keep on moving was a better future or at least a paradise... And you dare to tell me that I don't belong there because I was not strong enough or lucky?” Full lips trembled in an attempt to gain some unwanted control. “Tell you what? I don't need your peace and calmness! I'll stay on earth, moving it upside-down till I find those pieces and get my memories back! Then i'll be complete again, right?” he snorted in irony. “Because I won't accept grieving forever in exile due to rules that are not right!” He panted, trying to steady his breath, needed or not. “And when that time comes, i'll come to your pretty world and kick your ass! I'll change the rules so that people will keep fighting for a damn reason!”
Hiroto was fired up, not that Shou could blame him, despite the fact that the boy was harsh with a person who just wanted to help. He could admit it though, the kid had a fire burning inside him, bright and ready to cremate any obstacle in it's way. In an instant all of Shou's anger or frustration were wiped away, getting replaced by interior feelings, such as admiration and respect. Pure respect. A soft chuckled cracked from his mouth as he watched the boy turning his back, taking a random route, probably having no idea where was heading to.
“And you are going where exactly?” Shou asked, amusement lightening the tone of his voice, something that disturbed the boy even more.
“And you care why exactly?” Hiroto snapped back, never turning to face the reaper. “I am going to start my searching quest...” Hope could be discerned in his voice. A hope bright new, about managing to do something he was disqualified for from the very beginning. He just knew that he would do it one day.
“I told you to trust me...” Shou said boldly, making the spirit stop on his tracks. He smirked. At least now he knew he was listened to.
“You don't want to be alone, right?” he asked, pointing at things that would earn more attention. “Come and stay with me... Loneliness hurts, even more when you have unlimited time...” Lips pursed, remembering the weight he himself was carrying on his shoulders and the consequences of it. Steps restarted walking away from the blond reaper, the only reply he got back. “I can help you!” he shouted, calling him back. “I really can!” But Hiroto never stopped walking. He didn't slow down nor turned back to give one last glance to what he was leaving behind. And just like that he was lost from Shou's sight, walking in paths unknown, as he chose to do with his life too.
Days came and passed and Shou remembered the meeting with the boy like it was a day ago. Eternity does tricks like that you see... Till his doorbell rang one morning, and a reaper\s bell rarely rings...
“I could trace your aura...”
Words simple, spoken shyly by a pouting mouth, eyes locking at the rug on the floor. But it was enough for Shou to smile and open his door wide, inviting the transparent figure inside with no more questions. Because he knew who it was from the very first moment he sensed a new aura close.
“Welcome home, Hiroto...”
t.b.c.
Next part up and not in a month, woohooooo! xD How are you guys? I am getting determing to finish all ther jobs i have to, including posting and my college... finally xD Here we go with a side story, going to the past and see how Shou and Hiroto met... I like their story and the affection they have for each other, and they deserved a chapter :3 I hope you enjoy :3
Comments are always apreciated :3
Chapters: 5/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to xme_chanx for beta reading :3
Chapter 5: A small side story: A soul's fairytale...
Our story began on a clear night, one of those evenings that the starts burn so brightly in the sky that you can count them one by one. A night of those that it's believed that wishes will come true if your eyes catch a shooting star, leaving it's last breath in the darkness. Shou was under that sky, his breath one with the wind and his heartbeat synchronized with the steps on the old pavement, slow and kind of melancholic, he could say. He could hear the blurry whispers about rain to come, he could sense the cold in his fingertips, another needle sinking in his skin and just a small pinch of low temperature, no pain. He was not exactly there, but at the same time he was, flowing along with dust and time as he traveled around in seconds, letting his instinct lead him to the next soul he should collect.
And then he heard it, a howling scream piercing his ears all over, reaching his soul and ripping it apart. He stopped in a corner of a small alley, looking at it's end, at a house with no lights. He gasped. Whatever was what he felt, it hurt. It really hurt. So freaking much that tears started falling from his eyes, unable to keep them. In a flash of moments, the blond reaper was outside of that house. The pain inside him was worse than before, and that feeling... so... so sad... Shou strode front because right then he knew what his next job was, though something felt a little different.
He slowly stepped on a path with no doors as obstacles, a path signed by pieces of broken glass, furniture messed up and drops of blood. Shou winced. He moved towards the kitchen, where the smell of blood was bolder and he could feel a strong negative aura, massive hate nestling around it's evil nest. A small figure was there, curled in miserably in a ball. Though it was not just a pile of meat, it had been treated like one. Such a poor thing... Because surely, that young man on the floor, no more than 18 years old, was a beautiful and graced creature, before this. This atrocity. No matter the violet bruises, that skin was still pale and smooth under them, still standing out in the cheap wounds. Those bloody red lips were well-shaped and those closed eyes, covered by wet strands of bleached hair, would be probably be bright and energetic... If the boy was still alive...
Shou took a disgusted expression for the bastard who did this. “Poor soul...” he whispered, feeling the wrath around sneaking inside him. “But it's all over now, over...” he tried to sooth the cold body, feeling tears again on his cheek. Moments like that were the ones that made him curse his eternal life and all the gifts with it. The fact that he was delivering lives that went to waste, but he couldn't just... save them...
“You'll go in a better place, you hear me?” Shou's voice was broken as he took his gloves off and touched the boy's frail hand. “A small touch and-”
He froze, eyes widening in fear. Nothing happened. The skin was untouched and there was no shade holding his hand. Shou looked around in worry, ears stretching to hear sounds that humans couldn't. That was impossible! He was sure that no reaper was there before him, he would feel it! But then, he couldn't deny what he was witnessing in that room either. A body with no soul attached.
“That can't be happening...” Shou shook his head in disbelief. Yet it was happening, for the first time right in front of his eyes. Tired hands rubbed his forehead, he needed to put things in order. “No...” he repeated in denial. There are no soulless bodies, and a sould can't detach itself on it's own... What... What the hell is this...” he whispered weakly, looking at the corpse.
“That's what I wander too...”
A new voice, echoing young and pretty scared. Shocked. There was no need for Shou to turn and look, the sound of that voice was enough to feel the fear, the confusion that was devouring that person, him and the last bits of sanity that were about to disappear. But he did, none the less. And right behind him, in a really feint shade of trespassing gray, he was. An identical image of the boy on the floor, only with the wounds missing, all those scars that were trying to make him ugly with no success.
“You...” a phrase that was never completed.
Right then, for the first time in his unending life, a reaper was witnessing the impossible to happen. A soul cutting connection with the body on it's own. The more he was watching the spirit, the more Shou was getting confused.
“How did that-”
“Shut up!”
Terror. Fear. Horror. So many words to describe the same feeling and at the same time none of them was enough to do it. Words were so poor in front of what Shou was witnessing inside those eyes. Rage and feelings primal, wild.
The boy stepped back, plopping on the floor in a corner, his fragile hands cupping his knees protectively as he was moving back and forth. Back and forth. A never ending, cursed dance.
“I am dead, aren't I?” he mumbled, mostly to himself, those once beautiful eyes being locked somewhere blankly. And suddenly he jerked his head towards Shou's direction, right inside his widened brown orbs.
“Did you do this ti me? Have I ever done anything to deserve this?” eyes hurt, with endless wander inside them, mirroring his hesitation. “I was not... a bad person... Was I?”
Rage that was fired up again, mixed with many more emotions that the reaper couldn't recognize.
“Who did this to me!” He screamed though no one could hear him anymore, except that tall man in the dark coat, standing across to him. Shou looked at him sadly.
“I didn't do this to you...” he said softly, wandering inwardly if it was safe to step closer to the boy. “Don't you remember anything?”
The boy blinked, finally realizing something in the mist of his confusion. “You... you can see me, right? You are the only one who heard me...” he gulped, his bleached head shaking in denial as he looked at the taller. He wanted to prove to himself that his assumptions were wrong, but this was the only way that everything made sense. “You are here to take me, right?”
Lips trembling from a mad laugh, so inhuman and scary. And there was Shou, a man who had confronted people denying their death before, yet he was numb this time, trapped between so many feelings overflowing from the boy and a past he was hesitant to hear about.
“Please calm down...” his voice sounding like angelic melody, so frightening beautiful, making the boy hush and stop everything, standing like a beautiful statue. Shou smiled encouragingly, his mind working to find the right words.
“First things first...” he sighed, making a daring step front. “You remember nothing about your life? What your name is?”
Full lips were pursed and brown eyes closed shut as memories were recalled from the back of his mind. He was 17 years old... or not... Oh yes! He was a student, yes! He remembered a couple of friends and that... he licked his lips. Family. Family would be easier to remember. His mother was... a nurse? Huh, she was working in a big building close to their house and... His eyes widened as he couldn't remember the address. In fact, he couldn't remember anything more. Just some blur facts and again, he was not sure if those were fragments of his memory or random facts his mind created for defense. The book of his life had pages ripped off. There was no past, no important event, no friends, family or anyone important to him. No childhood memories. Not even a-
“Name!” he screamed shocked. “I don't have a name!”
“Please relax!” Shou almost pleaded, for the first time after so many years feeling panick to surround him. “Please calm down, please...” His voice was low and sad, withering away in the emptiness of the house. “Everyone has a name...” he said lowly as he leaned down, sitting next to the boy. “A unique, precious name that we always carry on. A name that tells our story...” He licked his lips, focusing to find a solution. “Please, close your eyes and calm down, you are safe with me and nothing will harm you anymore...” He huffed in desperation as the boy's eyes were not focused at him and it was natural. He sighed, shifting in front of the boy, so that he could not witness the blood scene in the kitchen.
“You cannot do something about it anymore, but you can live a better life where I'll take you to...” he smiled weakly. “Let me help you, okay? Close your eyes and bring as many memories as you can in your mind...”
The boy nodded, long lashes kissing his cheek as he tried to bring a memory back. A nice memory... There he was, in first grade, learning his first words. His teacher was kind and sweet, though there was no face behind his eyes. She was walking along the desks, checking every child and correcting when needed. His school uniform was clean and smelled nice, lilies, his mother's favorite. His hair were perfectly combed after many tries, because of their wild nature. He was using a blue pencil with small planes on it, his tongue darting out as he was struggling to keep the lines straight. He was sighing disappointed, when a shadow appeared behind him. Her shadow.
'Well done!” the teacher said with sugar-sweet voice, her finger trailing the letters. “Let's read it together, ne?”
The boy nodded shyly, leaning on the lines and spelling slowly.
Hi... ro...
“Hiroto!” the spirit of the young man shouted and jumped back in reality, slowly calming down again. “Hiroto...” he repeated calmer this time. “My name is Hiroto...” Tears were dripping uncontrollably from his eyes, something he couldn't really feel on his cheek. But couldn't stop either. There was something he could feel though, and that was the pain inside him.
“Was it nice?” Shou asked softly. Knowing well what the boy was passing through. “Was it a nice memory?”
The boy nodded, lips trembling and eyes tearing up faster. “It was sweet and I could feel how happy I was... My growling stomach as I was happy, I could even hear the voices clearly!” The spirit leaned closer, searching for an answer. “Is it always like that?” he asked in a mere whisper. “All memories and feelings, will they be like that now that I am...” a knot stopped in his throat. “dead?”
“Yes...” Shou's hand was clenched on his knee for strength. “Your senses are multiplied now, since there is no body to frame them. That also means that you can't touch objects, but with the right amount of spiritual energy, you can-”
He gasped as his pale hand passed through Hiroto's one. New wanders and questions. First, a body without a soul, then memories detached and right then this... A reaper unable to do his work and touch a soul!
“Wh-” he stopped, or better, the boy's big, brown eyes made him stop. He had suffered enough for one day, there was no need for more worries for him. “You'll see when time comes...” Shou averted his eyes , hiding the worry he had along with his wanders. “Any other memories?” he changed the subject. “Did anything come back?”
The boy shook his head, eyes focusing on the floor as hands were lacing fingers nervously. “Where you'll take me... Is it really better from here?” he asked, voice hurt as it trembled weakly in an attempt to remain calm. Shou sighed, his naturally wide eyes blinking repeatedly as he leaned closer, judging that he had earned enough trust from the boy to do so.
“I've seen not much, just what I am allowed to from the main Hade's gates but...” he closed his eyes, recalling images. “It is like a normal town but greener, with no cars or pollution... People seem happy there, smiling and talking, having fun and no problems to trouble them...” He breathed in a somewhat homesick tone, though he was just lost in thoughts. There were many things to do and discuss, such as the water of oblivion, but there was still time for this. “Do you know what's better than talking? Seeing with your own eyes!” Shou smiled softly and stood up. “Are you ready?”
Was he, really? The boy didn't know. He was not even sure if he could trust that so called reaper, but he had nothing to lose. He was dead anyway. With a small huff the boy stood up, following the man with the same rapid speed, till nothing of them was left in the house...
*****
Time was passing through, though Hiroto was not in a state to know if it was mere seconds that he was waiting there or mere years. He was in a place that time was flowing differently, after all. According to him it seemed that a couple of hours had passed, with him waiting inside that building of stone, huge and depressing, like a mausoleum. He wandered what took Shou that long, if even the underworld had such bad bureaucracy! This shouldn't be so hard... He was... dead! How the hell could a corpse be troublesome? Well, at least in his case... Though Shou seemed so confused with him.
He was supposed to enter in some kind of promise land, to laugh and live happily there, away from hardships and sadness. Not that he remembered any of it but... He sighed, looking on the tall ceiling, so tall that he could hardly discern it's end, among the shadows. Whatever the case, he was not supposed to wait! He didn't want to worry beforehand, but he couldn't help it. A feeling that only became stronger as he finally faces Shou walking out with a small bow.
Eyes darkened and wide in shock, lips ready to gape open, a sight sad, locked on the floor, like he was afraid to face Hiroto again. And maybe he was right to be, because the moment he did, Hiroto could see guilt and remorse trapped inside those brown orbs, almost watery. And then anger. In small yet bold bits, feint but existing.
“W-What happened?” Hiroto's voice was low, as he was afraid to ask about something he already knew. Shou never answered, his hand was just raised up in an attempt to grab the boy's small shoulder, only to remember that he couldn't do it. He snapped, pulling it back instantly and biting his lips, like he had tasted poison.
“Let's go...” he said finally with an unreadable sound in his voice.
“But why? Shouldn't I-”
“Just come!” That tone was completely new in Shou's voice. Hiroto looked up surprised, but he obeyed none the less. He stood up, following the taller man out of the mausoleum-looking building, walking through small alleys. Hiroto didn't need to be a genius to know that something went wrong. There was that expression on the reaper's features, great anger and disappointment.
“Can't you just tell me why I can't get in Hades, at least?”
Shou calmed down the moment his eyes fell on the boy, adopting that sad expression again. And it was a shame, Hiroto thought, for those eyes were getting ugly... The taller man sighed, sucking as much air as he could in his lungs.
“You really can't remember what happened before you died, right?” And those beautiful orbs gleamed again in hope, in hope that the boy was still hiding something for his own reasons.
“There is no reason for me to lie about that, is it?” He snapped back, feeling a little offended by the question, something that Shou saw right away, biting his lips in regret.
“I apologize...” he mumbled, looking up in the sky to take some courage. “You know, there is a story that we, reapers, used to know from the earliest years on earth. A tale about some... special souls... Though I would never believe that it could be true...” He sighed again, feeling a weight nestling in his chest as he waved to the other to keep moving, turning right at a small road.
“When a soul travels on earth, it finds a vessel, a body, and spends years to live, love, find true happiness and then die, when fate chooses it. Everything the sould experiences is stored in memories, events and little moments that someone has in his life. Things that keep the soul strong during all that time...” He paused a little, checking if Hiroto was keeping up with the story. The boy just nodded impatiently and the reaper moved on.
“People also have bad experiences, such as accidents or losing someone beloved...” his words trailed off, not having the strength to name even worse things that could be a torture for a soul and it's vessel. “No matter the circumstances, some souls overcome the damage and some not. Those last ones get scarred, letting the pain cracking them little by little, in a desperate action to protect what's left...”
Hiroto was just nodding, connecting slowly the puzzle pieces and struggling to remember, to asure himself that he had memories, that Shou was just randomly telling him that story. But he only thing he was finding were pages ripped off, paragraphs stained with ink. Shou could see the fear and worry in the young man's features, but the only thing he could do was to finish what he started.
“When you take a stone and hit an already damaged window, the glass cracks more, the old wounds getting bigger. If you keep doing that, then at a critical point the glass will be shred to pieces and the window will break completely...” He gave a bitter smile. “Souls are like this too, you know... At a final attempt to protect what is left the soul breaks apart, it's pieces scattering around. Pieces connected to memories...” Shou took a big breath, fighting his hesitation as he faces the boy with courage. “You are a broken soul, that's how we call them... Incomplete... More like spirits trapped on earth, ghosts as people know them. Broken souls are supposed to be destroyed, only remnants of what a real soul used to be. That's why Lord can't accept you in Hades...”
Words, words, words. Just stupid letters in order, making syllables with sound. That was what everything the reaper talked about was to him right then. Beautiful, well-said bullshit! Bullshit from a person who couldn't die.
“So that's it?” the dead boy asked weakly, eyes still frozen from shock. “Was that the nice, fair place you would take me to?” he shook his head. “Thank you greatly! Now I know that I am completely useless and with no home to go to!”
“I was trying to help you!” Shou snapped back, feeling his guilt devouring him. “I am not making the rules! If I was in charge-”
“You'd do the same...” Hiroto mumbled, visible anger glowing in his eyes. “You'd do the same!” he screamed, somewhere inside him hoping that he could be heard from all the reapers around and even Lord himself. “What am I after all? A garbage, right?” he bit his lip, trying to fight back a piercing pain with unknown source. “I was born and I stepped on this world, I probably made friends and I fell in love. I experienced pain, great pain as you say, and maybe the only hope I had to keep on moving was a better future or at least a paradise... And you dare to tell me that I don't belong there because I was not strong enough or lucky?” Full lips trembled in an attempt to gain some unwanted control. “Tell you what? I don't need your peace and calmness! I'll stay on earth, moving it upside-down till I find those pieces and get my memories back! Then i'll be complete again, right?” he snorted in irony. “Because I won't accept grieving forever in exile due to rules that are not right!” He panted, trying to steady his breath, needed or not. “And when that time comes, i'll come to your pretty world and kick your ass! I'll change the rules so that people will keep fighting for a damn reason!”
Hiroto was fired up, not that Shou could blame him, despite the fact that the boy was harsh with a person who just wanted to help. He could admit it though, the kid had a fire burning inside him, bright and ready to cremate any obstacle in it's way. In an instant all of Shou's anger or frustration were wiped away, getting replaced by interior feelings, such as admiration and respect. Pure respect. A soft chuckled cracked from his mouth as he watched the boy turning his back, taking a random route, probably having no idea where was heading to.
“And you are going where exactly?” Shou asked, amusement lightening the tone of his voice, something that disturbed the boy even more.
“And you care why exactly?” Hiroto snapped back, never turning to face the reaper. “I am going to start my searching quest...” Hope could be discerned in his voice. A hope bright new, about managing to do something he was disqualified for from the very beginning. He just knew that he would do it one day.
“I told you to trust me...” Shou said boldly, making the spirit stop on his tracks. He smirked. At least now he knew he was listened to.
“You don't want to be alone, right?” he asked, pointing at things that would earn more attention. “Come and stay with me... Loneliness hurts, even more when you have unlimited time...” Lips pursed, remembering the weight he himself was carrying on his shoulders and the consequences of it. Steps restarted walking away from the blond reaper, the only reply he got back. “I can help you!” he shouted, calling him back. “I really can!” But Hiroto never stopped walking. He didn't slow down nor turned back to give one last glance to what he was leaving behind. And just like that he was lost from Shou's sight, walking in paths unknown, as he chose to do with his life too.
Days came and passed and Shou remembered the meeting with the boy like it was a day ago. Eternity does tricks like that you see... Till his doorbell rang one morning, and a reaper\s bell rarely rings...
“I could trace your aura...”
Words simple, spoken shyly by a pouting mouth, eyes locking at the rug on the floor. But it was enough for Shou to smile and open his door wide, inviting the transparent figure inside with no more questions. Because he knew who it was from the very first moment he sensed a new aura close.
“Welcome home, Hiroto...”
t.b.c.
Next part up and not in a month, woohooooo! xD How are you guys? I am getting determing to finish all ther jobs i have to, including posting and my college... finally xD Here we go with a side story, going to the past and see how Shou and Hiroto met... I like their story and the affection they have for each other, and they deserved a chapter :3 I hope you enjoy :3
Comments are always apreciated :3