Birth in the death - ToraxSaga - Ch2/8
Title: Birth in the death
Chapters: 2/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to themikachu for beta reading :3
Chapter 2:
Notes of relaxing music were echoing inside the car, invading his ears in an attempt to calm him down. But no matter the beauty of the sound and the harmony, Takashi wouldn't relax that night. His heart was playing in a harder rhythm, drumming madly a crazy march, and his breath was singing the appropriate song for it. His fingers were tapping the wheel feverishly as he was driving fast back home, counting every street-light on his way as one more step away from that place, that hill. And that man.
His body was still stiff and every nerve on it was tensed, like thin strings that were tightened so much, at their limits to break. He was mad, afraid, and deeply disappointed. Everything was so well planned, all the details. He was feeling ready to step away from that useless life. But he was still there, alive and scared.
In the bits of seconds that he was blinking in fatigue, only one image was formed behind his eyes. That bold, pale figure, covered by dark locks and those never smiling lips. But most of all, those icy cold eyes, looking soulless and even dead, like he had seen so much pain around him till he stopped feeling. And Takashi was twitching on his seat; shiver and unreasonable stress running through his body, bolting it like electric currents. A hot bath, a good sleep, pills. All of those passed through his mind but nothing would help his situation. That man's presence was going to haunt him for a long time, leaving a scar inside him in his shape.
A sigh as the engine stopped, a loud thud at the car's door, and short, quick steps on the ground, leading at the dorm's building. Minutes or days after that incident, it would seem the same for the boy. His heart would still bump like mad in his ribcage and his breath would remain short, getting even shorter maybe. His feet were walking blindly through the hall, limping and balancing dangerously as he was looking for his room, to lock himself out of everything and find a peace of mind. The keys were fumbling in his fingers, struggling to find the hole and open the damn door finally!
“Hey! Can't you be quiet?” an irritated voice invaded the silence in the hall, grumpy and whiny, sounding from an opened door. “Some people are trying to sleep and- Oh my god!”
The man, who was no one else than Nao, stepped out of his room in shock, his mouth gaping so widely that he was becoming rude according to Takashi's opinion. In blue pajamas, eyes swollen from sleep and messy hair, the strange boy would seem more than funny in Takashi's eyes, if the brunet wasn't so desperate to stay alone for a bit. And if Nao didn't look that scared and defensive against him, keeping as much of a distance as he could from him.
“What the hell is going on?” Nao hissed in a threatening manner, his brows furrowing in deep though as he stepped back, as close to his room and his safety as he could. “What are you and what did you do to him?”
Takashi frowned in confusion. Nao was known for his strange behavior and words but that was above any logic! Except from crazy, was he blind too?
“Are you still sleepy, Nao-san? It's me...Takashi?”
The brunet felt silly, like talking to a small kid. His nose sniffled suspiciously around, in search for any strange odors from his neighbor. Drugs were the last excuse he could use for Nao's weirder than the normal act. He took some steps front hesitantly, hoping that he could calm his friend down.
“I just returned from my walk and-”
“Cut the crap!” the medic student shouted infuriated. “And don't you dare come close to me!” The tone in his voice was determined and stopped poor Takashi on his tracks. “You think that I am a fool, huh?” I don't know what the hell you are, but you are not Takashi!” his chubby face was read from anger, the nerves on his body were hitting his skin like hammers. His limbs were trembling in an unknown fury but he didn't dare to move from his place. “Takashi is dead, so stop insulting his body and leave!”
Sadness was suddenly mirrored in those eyes. Great sadness. Nao did like that guy a lot; he used to be different from all the idiots he knew in there. And it was a shame, what was happening in front of his almost tearing eyes.
“Err...” Takashi stepped back, surprised. He would never expect such reaction from the other, crazy man or not. He scratched his head in thought, his brain functioning to find some sense in Nao's senseless words.
“How can I be dead when I am talking to you right now? When I walk and stand beside you? It's just me Nao, please calm down! You just fell out of your predictions. You see it was nothing? I am still alive!”
Nao rubbed his cheek, never leaving Takashi from his sight as he was pacing back and forth, still keeping his distance.
“No, no way!” He shook his head in disbelief. “I am never wrong! For fifteen years now, since I was seven, I’ve never been wrong! I am always right and I hate it! Being nosy without wanting it, knowing things you shouldn't... Do you know how it feels? It's like hell! Some people call it a gift but it's a damn curse that I can't take off me!” With a swift move he stopped the brunet from doing any move closer to him; he had not finished yet. “I wished I was wrong Takashi, so many times... Whenever I watch people dying and bad things occurring in my dreams and I am always right! I learned how to shut my feelings out of it, how to prevent it from devouring what is left from my soul... So you can't come out of the blue and tell me I was wrong this time, because I am not!”
The boy broke down, shedding a river of suppressed tears, maybe tears that were hidden behind those eyes from years ago. His knees leaned but he found support on the wall behind him, so that he wouldn't be crashed down. And Takashi was just standing still across to him, unable to think the right thing to do. Nao's talk was driving him crazy. He never fell off from that cliff; he was still there, breathing, with a beating heart as everyone else. Alive. His lips let out a sigh, hoping that this air would drive out some of his imprisoned feelings too. He didn't feel any better, but he wouldn't stand with crossed hands for more.
“Come on, Nao...” he moved front a bit, hesitantly. “Let's go inside and talk...”
“Don't touch me!” Nao screamed in warn again, pinning his own body on the wall.
“I... I won't...”Takashi felt his heart sinking with all this. “I won't touch you, but we'll get inside to talk, okay?”
Nao looked up at him before he averted his eyes in pain. All of his senses were screaming that something was wrong, but not dangerous yet. Forcing his hands on the wall, he slowly crawled up and stood on his feet. “My place...” he mumbled dryly, pointing at the door. “And don't you dare pull out some play, or you are screwed! You hear me?”
Tahashi nodded and walked back in the dark room, followed by his host. He didn't know what the other meant with those last words, but he was not going to talk before Nao would calm down a bit, for his own good...
Nao kept watching the mug placed on his nightstand suspiciously. His fingers were moving to it just to stop right before they would touch the warm cup. Takashi was sitting patiently on the room's desk, waiting for the other to show any clue of trust. He had let him to lie down and made him some herbal tea. It was the perfect remedy for sensitive nerves. Nao's piercing eyes were spying on him in the while, watching the slightest move the brunet would make, the tiniest mistake. After passing his exam countless times, Nao decided to trust him and took a sip from the warm liquid. That was also the sign that made the brunet to finally speak.
“This... How do you...” It was a rather failed attempt to begin a conversation but the other boy got what he meant.
“My grandfather...” he explained. “He was better than me though. Instead of random omens and hidden signs, he had clear images of what was going to happen. He had foreseen his death some years before that actually happened, along with his successor, the oldest son of his youngest daughter. Here I am...” He pointed at himself simply before he drank some more of his tea.
“Oh...” Takashi shrugged his shoulders. “It must have been very difficult, all those years...”
“You can't even imagine...” The medic student blew the steam off his cup. “That's why it is easy for you people, calling me weirdo and all. You are so lucky...”
“Hey, I never said that!”
“But you thought it, right?”
That small phrase was enough to seal Takashi's mouth and make him think. Yes, he had thought that so many times and he was feeling awkward to even wave at him. And right then he could see how wrong and unfair that was.
“I... I'm sorry...” he mumbled, biting lips in regret.
“You should! But it's alright, it doesn't even matter anymore, you are dead anyway...”
“Will you stop that?” the brunet lost his patience as he jumped up and rushed to Nao's bed. The lying down man got ready to defend himself but the only thing he got from the other was a soft touch on his hand, a small rub by thin fingers. “Look! I am touching you and nothing happens! And I am warm, right? I just can't be dead, Nao! I can accept all those predictions but fate can change! Every single moment, a small action occurs! One of those happened and saved me! Can't you see that?”
Nao shook his head tiredly and pulled his upper half up, so that he was sitting on his bed. “Yes, fate changes at every bit of second, but not yours. You can't see it but I can! You stink of death, from head to toe...” He laced his fingers, playing nervously as he tried to explain. “When fate changes, something natural occurs. Like, I don't know, other people, a rain, anything! But whatever stopped your death, it was not natural... I am sorry, but you should be dead, Takashi...”
“Enough!” It was time to put an end in this madness, Takashi couldn't accept it anymore. “I'll take my dead body to sleep, and you should do the same.”
Nao opened his mouth to talk, maybe to correct his words but it was futile. The door was already closed and he could hear the brunet running to his room. He lied back on his bed again, hugging a pillow and sinking his head deep in it. He was feeling awful, as he could take a taste of how his friend felt by hearing all those. It was shocking also for him himself, being his first time facing something like that. But it was the plain truth. His aura was deadly, leaking death's presence.
“I am so sorry, Takashi...” he whispered and sunk even deeper to his pillow, hoping that sleep would claim him soon enough. It was a long night...
It was a long night. That's what Takashi was also thinking, locked up in his room. Sprawled on his bed with hands raised up in the air, examining them. His skin was pale naturally but not dead-white, it was warm and his veins were pumping in the same rhythm with his heart. Hours ago, he was going to die but he didn't! What did Nao's words mean then? You should be dead... He let his hands fall back on the mattress with a loud thud; it was relaxing his short temper. Well, maybe all that was Nao's bullshit! And scratch everything else, he still had a cause to complete. His decision. The boy sighed and closed his eyes shut, forcing sleep on him. A day sooner or later, Nao's omens were going to be right in the end. If he was supposed to be dead when he wasn't, the only thing he had to do was to die, right?...
*****
When you have all the time you want and nothing to do, hours, minutes and even seconds, pass so torturous slow, living a whole century in just twenty four hours. That's how time passed for Takashi the next day. Moments crawling as time was slowing down for him and only, while everything else was moving as fast as it naturally would. Or maybe it really was time's small goodbye to him, slowing down before it would stop permanently. No one called or passed by, except Nao, that is, but the young brunet was deafened willingly against his knocks on the door. He didn't want to meet anyone and Nao especially was the last person he wanted to see. Burying himself on his bed, Takashi let the day flow behind his closed windows till light couldn't invade his room anymore, as darkness came to rest upon the sky. And when it came, it was his chance to flee again. But only after midnight.
Once again he slipped on his coat and strode down the dorm, knowing that someone was spying him behind a window. It was colder than the day before and the road seemed longer too, though he followed the same route. Partly he was delaying on purpose, spelling his own farewell to all the things he would never see again, to all the scents and feelings. The cliff was quiet in his satisfaction. No one was there to disturb him, only peaceful silence. He stepped again on the edge, feeling the adrenaline flowing in his body one last time. His lungs full with fresh air, his nose smelling the wet sand. And then he felt something else, something that awoke a new sense, something unwanted.
Sound. He heard a soft, almost inaudible sound, the soft ground being pressed under strong steps. Fear and worry, mixed with confusion invaded his whole being, and Takashi needed to feel this new feeling, nestled in his chest. He turned slowly back, though a part of him was guessing what he would meet. And that part was actually right, as not far behind him a man was standing. The same cold eyes staring at the cliff, the same pale skin, the same dark locks waving around under wind's orders.
“You...” Takashi spelled almost voiceless, his lips sticking at every letter. The man raised his sight as much as it was needed to face him back right in the eyes. No more moves were performed after that, not even blinking.
“Hello again...” The angelic voice sounded again echoing right out of the depths of hell. A sound almost inhuman.
Something inside him was pushing Takashi away, away from that man and his mystery. Raising a hand on his lips, he prevented a gasp coming out. He wanted to leave and that feeling was stronger than his will to die. But there was something even stronger as he stepped closer to the dark-haired man, hesitantly at first but he soon became daring, as he sat on a rock next to him. The need to learn, to have some answers. The need to satisfy his curiosity.
t.b.c.
A/N: Hello everyone! :3 I finally returned back from vacation, time to focus and study again >.> I deleayed a little with this update, but i was ill, and i had to pack and do random jobs before i would leave for here... So, second chapter, and i am currently finishing 6th in my notebook :3 Quiz of the day: What do you think is going on? :D I hope you'll enjoy my angstiness... :)
Comments are always appreciated <3
Chapters: 2/8
Author: fallen_am_i
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU, Supernatural
Warnings:Boylove, mentions of suicide, probability of character death
Rating: PG-13 to PG-15
Pairing: Tora x Saga, some ShouxHiroto
Synopsis: His dream was to fly, to travel freely everywhere he wanted... And that night he was going to do it. If...
Disclaimer: I own the story only...
Coments: A big thank you to themikachu for beta reading :3
Chapter 2:
Notes of relaxing music were echoing inside the car, invading his ears in an attempt to calm him down. But no matter the beauty of the sound and the harmony, Takashi wouldn't relax that night. His heart was playing in a harder rhythm, drumming madly a crazy march, and his breath was singing the appropriate song for it. His fingers were tapping the wheel feverishly as he was driving fast back home, counting every street-light on his way as one more step away from that place, that hill. And that man.
His body was still stiff and every nerve on it was tensed, like thin strings that were tightened so much, at their limits to break. He was mad, afraid, and deeply disappointed. Everything was so well planned, all the details. He was feeling ready to step away from that useless life. But he was still there, alive and scared.
In the bits of seconds that he was blinking in fatigue, only one image was formed behind his eyes. That bold, pale figure, covered by dark locks and those never smiling lips. But most of all, those icy cold eyes, looking soulless and even dead, like he had seen so much pain around him till he stopped feeling. And Takashi was twitching on his seat; shiver and unreasonable stress running through his body, bolting it like electric currents. A hot bath, a good sleep, pills. All of those passed through his mind but nothing would help his situation. That man's presence was going to haunt him for a long time, leaving a scar inside him in his shape.
A sigh as the engine stopped, a loud thud at the car's door, and short, quick steps on the ground, leading at the dorm's building. Minutes or days after that incident, it would seem the same for the boy. His heart would still bump like mad in his ribcage and his breath would remain short, getting even shorter maybe. His feet were walking blindly through the hall, limping and balancing dangerously as he was looking for his room, to lock himself out of everything and find a peace of mind. The keys were fumbling in his fingers, struggling to find the hole and open the damn door finally!
“Hey! Can't you be quiet?” an irritated voice invaded the silence in the hall, grumpy and whiny, sounding from an opened door. “Some people are trying to sleep and- Oh my god!”
The man, who was no one else than Nao, stepped out of his room in shock, his mouth gaping so widely that he was becoming rude according to Takashi's opinion. In blue pajamas, eyes swollen from sleep and messy hair, the strange boy would seem more than funny in Takashi's eyes, if the brunet wasn't so desperate to stay alone for a bit. And if Nao didn't look that scared and defensive against him, keeping as much of a distance as he could from him.
“What the hell is going on?” Nao hissed in a threatening manner, his brows furrowing in deep though as he stepped back, as close to his room and his safety as he could. “What are you and what did you do to him?”
Takashi frowned in confusion. Nao was known for his strange behavior and words but that was above any logic! Except from crazy, was he blind too?
“Are you still sleepy, Nao-san? It's me...Takashi?”
The brunet felt silly, like talking to a small kid. His nose sniffled suspiciously around, in search for any strange odors from his neighbor. Drugs were the last excuse he could use for Nao's weirder than the normal act. He took some steps front hesitantly, hoping that he could calm his friend down.
“I just returned from my walk and-”
“Cut the crap!” the medic student shouted infuriated. “And don't you dare come close to me!” The tone in his voice was determined and stopped poor Takashi on his tracks. “You think that I am a fool, huh?” I don't know what the hell you are, but you are not Takashi!” his chubby face was read from anger, the nerves on his body were hitting his skin like hammers. His limbs were trembling in an unknown fury but he didn't dare to move from his place. “Takashi is dead, so stop insulting his body and leave!”
Sadness was suddenly mirrored in those eyes. Great sadness. Nao did like that guy a lot; he used to be different from all the idiots he knew in there. And it was a shame, what was happening in front of his almost tearing eyes.
“Err...” Takashi stepped back, surprised. He would never expect such reaction from the other, crazy man or not. He scratched his head in thought, his brain functioning to find some sense in Nao's senseless words.
“How can I be dead when I am talking to you right now? When I walk and stand beside you? It's just me Nao, please calm down! You just fell out of your predictions. You see it was nothing? I am still alive!”
Nao rubbed his cheek, never leaving Takashi from his sight as he was pacing back and forth, still keeping his distance.
“No, no way!” He shook his head in disbelief. “I am never wrong! For fifteen years now, since I was seven, I’ve never been wrong! I am always right and I hate it! Being nosy without wanting it, knowing things you shouldn't... Do you know how it feels? It's like hell! Some people call it a gift but it's a damn curse that I can't take off me!” With a swift move he stopped the brunet from doing any move closer to him; he had not finished yet. “I wished I was wrong Takashi, so many times... Whenever I watch people dying and bad things occurring in my dreams and I am always right! I learned how to shut my feelings out of it, how to prevent it from devouring what is left from my soul... So you can't come out of the blue and tell me I was wrong this time, because I am not!”
The boy broke down, shedding a river of suppressed tears, maybe tears that were hidden behind those eyes from years ago. His knees leaned but he found support on the wall behind him, so that he wouldn't be crashed down. And Takashi was just standing still across to him, unable to think the right thing to do. Nao's talk was driving him crazy. He never fell off from that cliff; he was still there, breathing, with a beating heart as everyone else. Alive. His lips let out a sigh, hoping that this air would drive out some of his imprisoned feelings too. He didn't feel any better, but he wouldn't stand with crossed hands for more.
“Come on, Nao...” he moved front a bit, hesitantly. “Let's go inside and talk...”
“Don't touch me!” Nao screamed in warn again, pinning his own body on the wall.
“I... I won't...”Takashi felt his heart sinking with all this. “I won't touch you, but we'll get inside to talk, okay?”
Nao looked up at him before he averted his eyes in pain. All of his senses were screaming that something was wrong, but not dangerous yet. Forcing his hands on the wall, he slowly crawled up and stood on his feet. “My place...” he mumbled dryly, pointing at the door. “And don't you dare pull out some play, or you are screwed! You hear me?”
Tahashi nodded and walked back in the dark room, followed by his host. He didn't know what the other meant with those last words, but he was not going to talk before Nao would calm down a bit, for his own good...
Nao kept watching the mug placed on his nightstand suspiciously. His fingers were moving to it just to stop right before they would touch the warm cup. Takashi was sitting patiently on the room's desk, waiting for the other to show any clue of trust. He had let him to lie down and made him some herbal tea. It was the perfect remedy for sensitive nerves. Nao's piercing eyes were spying on him in the while, watching the slightest move the brunet would make, the tiniest mistake. After passing his exam countless times, Nao decided to trust him and took a sip from the warm liquid. That was also the sign that made the brunet to finally speak.
“This... How do you...” It was a rather failed attempt to begin a conversation but the other boy got what he meant.
“My grandfather...” he explained. “He was better than me though. Instead of random omens and hidden signs, he had clear images of what was going to happen. He had foreseen his death some years before that actually happened, along with his successor, the oldest son of his youngest daughter. Here I am...” He pointed at himself simply before he drank some more of his tea.
“Oh...” Takashi shrugged his shoulders. “It must have been very difficult, all those years...”
“You can't even imagine...” The medic student blew the steam off his cup. “That's why it is easy for you people, calling me weirdo and all. You are so lucky...”
“Hey, I never said that!”
“But you thought it, right?”
That small phrase was enough to seal Takashi's mouth and make him think. Yes, he had thought that so many times and he was feeling awkward to even wave at him. And right then he could see how wrong and unfair that was.
“I... I'm sorry...” he mumbled, biting lips in regret.
“You should! But it's alright, it doesn't even matter anymore, you are dead anyway...”
“Will you stop that?” the brunet lost his patience as he jumped up and rushed to Nao's bed. The lying down man got ready to defend himself but the only thing he got from the other was a soft touch on his hand, a small rub by thin fingers. “Look! I am touching you and nothing happens! And I am warm, right? I just can't be dead, Nao! I can accept all those predictions but fate can change! Every single moment, a small action occurs! One of those happened and saved me! Can't you see that?”
Nao shook his head tiredly and pulled his upper half up, so that he was sitting on his bed. “Yes, fate changes at every bit of second, but not yours. You can't see it but I can! You stink of death, from head to toe...” He laced his fingers, playing nervously as he tried to explain. “When fate changes, something natural occurs. Like, I don't know, other people, a rain, anything! But whatever stopped your death, it was not natural... I am sorry, but you should be dead, Takashi...”
“Enough!” It was time to put an end in this madness, Takashi couldn't accept it anymore. “I'll take my dead body to sleep, and you should do the same.”
Nao opened his mouth to talk, maybe to correct his words but it was futile. The door was already closed and he could hear the brunet running to his room. He lied back on his bed again, hugging a pillow and sinking his head deep in it. He was feeling awful, as he could take a taste of how his friend felt by hearing all those. It was shocking also for him himself, being his first time facing something like that. But it was the plain truth. His aura was deadly, leaking death's presence.
“I am so sorry, Takashi...” he whispered and sunk even deeper to his pillow, hoping that sleep would claim him soon enough. It was a long night...
It was a long night. That's what Takashi was also thinking, locked up in his room. Sprawled on his bed with hands raised up in the air, examining them. His skin was pale naturally but not dead-white, it was warm and his veins were pumping in the same rhythm with his heart. Hours ago, he was going to die but he didn't! What did Nao's words mean then? You should be dead... He let his hands fall back on the mattress with a loud thud; it was relaxing his short temper. Well, maybe all that was Nao's bullshit! And scratch everything else, he still had a cause to complete. His decision. The boy sighed and closed his eyes shut, forcing sleep on him. A day sooner or later, Nao's omens were going to be right in the end. If he was supposed to be dead when he wasn't, the only thing he had to do was to die, right?...
*****
When you have all the time you want and nothing to do, hours, minutes and even seconds, pass so torturous slow, living a whole century in just twenty four hours. That's how time passed for Takashi the next day. Moments crawling as time was slowing down for him and only, while everything else was moving as fast as it naturally would. Or maybe it really was time's small goodbye to him, slowing down before it would stop permanently. No one called or passed by, except Nao, that is, but the young brunet was deafened willingly against his knocks on the door. He didn't want to meet anyone and Nao especially was the last person he wanted to see. Burying himself on his bed, Takashi let the day flow behind his closed windows till light couldn't invade his room anymore, as darkness came to rest upon the sky. And when it came, it was his chance to flee again. But only after midnight.
Once again he slipped on his coat and strode down the dorm, knowing that someone was spying him behind a window. It was colder than the day before and the road seemed longer too, though he followed the same route. Partly he was delaying on purpose, spelling his own farewell to all the things he would never see again, to all the scents and feelings. The cliff was quiet in his satisfaction. No one was there to disturb him, only peaceful silence. He stepped again on the edge, feeling the adrenaline flowing in his body one last time. His lungs full with fresh air, his nose smelling the wet sand. And then he felt something else, something that awoke a new sense, something unwanted.
Sound. He heard a soft, almost inaudible sound, the soft ground being pressed under strong steps. Fear and worry, mixed with confusion invaded his whole being, and Takashi needed to feel this new feeling, nestled in his chest. He turned slowly back, though a part of him was guessing what he would meet. And that part was actually right, as not far behind him a man was standing. The same cold eyes staring at the cliff, the same pale skin, the same dark locks waving around under wind's orders.
“You...” Takashi spelled almost voiceless, his lips sticking at every letter. The man raised his sight as much as it was needed to face him back right in the eyes. No more moves were performed after that, not even blinking.
“Hello again...” The angelic voice sounded again echoing right out of the depths of hell. A sound almost inhuman.
Something inside him was pushing Takashi away, away from that man and his mystery. Raising a hand on his lips, he prevented a gasp coming out. He wanted to leave and that feeling was stronger than his will to die. But there was something even stronger as he stepped closer to the dark-haired man, hesitantly at first but he soon became daring, as he sat on a rock next to him. The need to learn, to have some answers. The need to satisfy his curiosity.
t.b.c.
A/N: Hello everyone! :3 I finally returned back from vacation, time to focus and study again >.> I deleayed a little with this update, but i was ill, and i had to pack and do random jobs before i would leave for here... So, second chapter, and i am currently finishing 6th in my notebook :3 Quiz of the day: What do you think is going on? :D I hope you'll enjoy my angstiness... :)
Comments are always appreciated <3