(no subject)
I hate my boyfriend. If it wasn't for Zak I would not be with him. I'm sick of being put last. Michael doesn't give a fuck. He has no job, his parents don't help with ANYTHING. We have a 200 dollar doctor bill that I have no idea how he's going to help with. I fucked a loser. I'm so sick of giving him my all and getting his stupid shit in return. I hate him and his parents. They are all just fuck ups. Michael makes my life hard. Zak doesn't deserve a hard life. That's all we are going to have if we are with Michael...but at the same time Zak needs his dad. I am so ashamed of Michael. I AM EMBARASSED OF MY BABYS FATHER. It's so humiliating saying he's Zaks dad and then having to deal with everyones stupid questions.
"Where does he work" "Nowhere"
"Are you going to get married?" "He wants to but HELL NO!"
"Do you guys live together? "Nope, and we probably never will."
I had to answer these questions today, I answer them all the time. He makes me feel like a loser. I want to leave him so bad but I can't. I still love him but I don't know why. He doesn't deserve my love. I just want it to be me and my son. I can't live with this frustration and hatred. I want this relationship to be over.
I'm not strong enough.
"Where does he work" "Nowhere"
"Are you going to get married?" "He wants to but HELL NO!"
"Do you guys live together? "Nope, and we probably never will."
I had to answer these questions today, I answer them all the time. He makes me feel like a loser. I want to leave him so bad but I can't. I still love him but I don't know why. He doesn't deserve my love. I just want it to be me and my son. I can't live with this frustration and hatred. I want this relationship to be over.
I'm not strong enough.