[17-- Private//Unhackable]
... I have never been the type to pour out all of my feelings in written form, even if I have been keeping track of this journal for quite sometime. However... Mileina's advice is sound. Perhaps... some introspection will help.
It has been a trying few months. First Aragaki, and then... Father. And what is worse is that I cannot shake the feeling that I am responsible for both incidents. I was there three years ago when Aragaki's persona killed Amada's mother. I knew October 4th would have been a trying day for everyone involved, and yet... my lack of foresight on the matter caused everyone to lose a trusted friend and comrade.
I should have been more diligent. It isn't prudent for a Kirijo to be so irresponsible.
... just as I was with Father, it seems.
It's strange... now that he is gone, it doesn't feel like there is anything worth fighting for anymore. Didn't I agree to this task to protect him? And yet... people continue life around me as though everything is normal.
I can no longer fathom normality.
The company board is, of course, considering the inheritance issue now that Father is gone. It feels despicable... but can I blame them? It's an important matter to consider. I have already heard the word 'engagement' used by several board members. It was... only a matter of time.
...
It is a part of my responsibilities as a Kirijo... right?
Odd. I have been sleeping much more often than I normally do for the past few nights, and I still feel nothing but exhaustion.
It has been a trying few months. First Aragaki, and then... Father. And what is worse is that I cannot shake the feeling that I am responsible for both incidents. I was there three years ago when Aragaki's persona killed Amada's mother. I knew October 4th would have been a trying day for everyone involved, and yet... my lack of foresight on the matter caused everyone to lose a trusted friend and comrade.
I should have been more diligent. It isn't prudent for a Kirijo to be so irresponsible.
... just as I was with Father, it seems.
It's strange... now that he is gone, it doesn't feel like there is anything worth fighting for anymore. Didn't I agree to this task to protect him? And yet... people continue life around me as though everything is normal.
I can no longer fathom normality.
The company board is, of course, considering the inheritance issue now that Father is gone. It feels despicable... but can I blame them? It's an important matter to consider. I have already heard the word 'engagement' used by several board members. It was... only a matter of time.
...
It is a part of my responsibilities as a Kirijo... right?
Odd. I have been sleeping much more often than I normally do for the past few nights, and I still feel nothing but exhaustion.